


Beneath Everything

by webbo



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Angst, Drama, Emotional Hurt, Episode: s04e10 Beneath the Surface, F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-06-01 23:27:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 48,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6541069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/webbo/pseuds/webbo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened "Beneath the Surface" was more than a conversation about feeling feelings. Sam/Jack, Romance, Drama, Angst, Family, SHIP!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beneath the Surface

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nominated for Best Angst & Best Mature for 2016
> 
> Vote at samandjackawards.com

 

He opened the door and there she was, the object of his thoughts for the past three weeks; the object of his thoughts for the past _three months_ ; and if Jack were honest with himself, the past three years as well.  She looked small and weak, standing at his doorstep, inches from entering his home, wearing an orange cardigan and looking more tempting than sin.  _Damn._

“Carter,” he spoke into the hot air.  It was summer in this world, _his world._ It had been an icy winter in theirs.

She looked down and didn’t answer, and he noticed she held a white sheet a paper that had been folded in half.  She looked back up but avoided looking him in the eyes.  “Can I come in?”

He raised his eyebrows at her lack of honorific.  She knew immediately he had noticed, and she was glad for it.  Feeling brave, or perhaps scared shitless, Sam pushed past him and entered his house.  Jack scooted to the side and made room for her in his entryway, and turned to close the door.  Sam slowly walked through the hallway and down the steps to his living room.

“Sure, make yourself at home,” he said, using sarcasm as a means to mask his uncomfortable state.  Jack O’Neill knew sarcastic, and he certainly knew gruff.

Sam ignored him, still unable to meet his gaze.  She sat down slowly on his couch, perched on the edge, and held the white, folded sheet of paper in her hands.  If there was a slight tremble to them, she was certainly trying to hide it.  “Have a seat, Jack.”

He froze.  “Have a seat, _Jack_?” he reiterated in a dumbfounded voice.  Being dumbfounded by this woman was no new thing to him; she was smarter than three of him put together.  But, being dumbfounded by her ease, her familiarity, her provocation of intimacy… well, this was new ground.

“Uh, yeah,” she looked up and met his gaze, finally.  “This needs to be a personal conversation.”

Jack tried to keep his eye lock with her for as long as she dared, but she was quick to look away once her point had been made.  She was being daring, but a bit unsure, like she hadn’t quite decided on a plan.  He came further into the room and chose the seat next to her on the couch, not too close, but close enough; if she wanted to have a personal conversation, then so be it.

“Okay, _Sam,_ ” he emphasized her given name in a way that made her close her eyes and take a deep breath.  They had kept their distance, since returning from the ice planet, meeting only once, at a diner outside the mountain.  He had arrived first and ordered two coffees.  She had shown up ten minutes later, and had left without taking a sip, five minutes after that.  The conversation had been simple and to the point.  No, they would not reveal Jonah and Thera’s relationship on their mission reports.  No, they would not let what happened affect the team.  It had been a necessary move, both to protect Sam’s career, and to protect the existence of SG1.  It was for the good of all involved, _feeling feelings_ be damned.

“Um,” she began, opening and closing her mouth, then wetting her lips with her tongue in a way that made Jack swallow and shift in his seat.

“Interesting choice in color,” he stated, giving her a moment to compose herself, or not.  It completely shifted her focus. Her eyes darted around the room.

“Pardon?”

Jack pointed his chin in her general vicinity.  “The orange,” he said while picking a piece of lint off his jeans, “it works for me.”

He saw her look down and partially deflate.  She wasn’t quite sure where the comment came from, but she thought he was being an ass.  Fine, she could be an ass too.  There was a long silence and Jack allowed it, then, he heard Sam’s intake of air.

“I’m pregnant,” Sam whispered on the exhale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: There is so much interest in fanfiction dealing with the events from "Beneath the Surface." Some authors have chosen to have Sam become pregnant during the episode. I find myself addicted to reading these, even though the episode in question has never been a particular favorite. I rewatched the episode, and while I had no intention of writing this, my mind created it nonetheless. Here is my take on what could have happened if Sam and Jack had explored a sexual relationship while on the ice planet. Do let me know what you think.
> 
> xoxo


	2. Beneath the Regulations

 

 Jack sat frozen in time, his eyes widening and his breath caught somewhere in his throat.  Had she just said… pregnant? 

“What?” he managed, also on a whisper.

He was looking at her and frowning, confused and unbelieving.  Sam stared back at him, her lips parted, her forehead creased, and her look downcast.  She had no idea how he was going to react to this, no idea how he would feel.

“Are you sure?” he said, shaking his head a bit.

Sam bit her lip and handed him the folded piece of paper.  Taking it, but making sure not to touch her, Jack opened the sheet.  It was a jumbled mess of numbers, percentage signs, and Sam’s personal information, like her date of birth and, what the hell did LMC mean, anyway?

“Carter, I have no idea what any of this means,” he spoke, tensely.

Sam sighed loudly, reaching for the sheet and snatching it back.  “It means I’m pregnant, _for sure_.  It’s the results from a blood test.  I had Janet run one after I took a home test and it came back positive.” She folded the sheet back up and placed it on the coffee table in front of her, waiting for him to say something, anything.

Jack was beginning to lose the color on his cheeks and he ran a hand down his face, then back up again.  “We only, uh, a couple of times…”

Sam stared at him with raised eyebrows, refusing to blush.  She rolled her eyes instead and sighed.  “Jack… I think you’re old enough to know that once is all it takes,” Sam said, with a bit more bite than necessary.  “And there were three times, not just—”

“Four,” he interrupted her. 

Ok, so he _was_ counting that frantic romp behind one of the exhaust pipes near the gas cylinders, _right._   That also meant he remembered everything she did, too.  _Great._ Sam did flush pink, recollection was a bitter torture.

“Pregnant,” he repeated.  And she nodded.

Jack’s hand went to his mouth and he just sat silently for a while. 

He stood and crossed the room, then turned and walked back towards her, only to turn again.  She recognized the nervous pacing, and allowed it.  She had spent two days doing much the same thing, and he deserved the time to process this incredible complication surrounding the events of P3R-118.

Suddenly, he stopped and looked her over.   “Are you hungry?”

Sam blinked.  This was not what she was expecting him to say.  “Am I hungry?”  She repeated his question with a downward turn of her lips.

He walked over to her and sat back down.  “Yes, are you hungry?  All you had to eat on that damn planet was that awful gruel.”

Sam let out an amused chuckle and settled on an easy upturn of her lips.  “We’ve been back for more than a month, Sir.  I’ve eaten plenty between then and now.”

“Sir?” he dared.  “I thought this was a personal conversation?”

Sam shifted on the couch and ignored both her slip and his reprimand.  It was the end of the day and he obviously hadn’t showered yet.  She was near enough to catch a wiff of his scent, the one she had memorized on the ice planet.  He had worked hard there, beneath all that ice, and when they met together, alone, to hold hands, to hug, to talk about their feelings, she could smell his sweat and the lingering scent of the hard-working man that had been Jonah.  Jack was the same man, and here, next to him, she could smell the same scent.  Her stomach quivered and her mind went dizzy, thinking of their couplings in corners and hidden bunks, the two of them beneath the surface, and her beneath him.

She opened her eyes in an attempt to dispel the memories, but he was still in the room, _she_ was still in _his_ house. 

“Are you going to say anything else?” she braved.  Jack was sitting up on the edge of the couch, tense, but impassive.  She needed to know what he was thinking.

He swallowed.  “How long?”

Sam looked at him. “Have I known? Or how long… have I been pregnant?”

He looked up at her, and she could tell he hadn’t considered one of those questions, though she wasn’t sure which one.  “Both,” he answered.

“Janet says probably eight weeks.  I’ve known for two days, though the blood test confirmation only came today,” Sam looked to the table where the lab result sheet was, then looked back at Jack.  “I felt that, um…” Sam cleared her throat.  “I thought you needed to know, that I needed to tell you right away.”

He nodded.  “Thank you.”

He stood and walked over to the mantel, looking at the picture of Charlie.    He chanced a glance back at her with the momentary thought that the child could potentially not be his.  He quickly dispelled the idea; she had come to tell him right away.  He didn’t really know if Sam was in a relationship outside of everyone’s knowledge; she was always working, either on a mission or in her lab, but she did have weekends off, had taken a whole week leave after the mess that had been 118… Hammond had ordered them all to take time off.  He wondered if she had spent any of that time with a male companion…

“The baby is yours, Jack,” she spoke softly, but the firm tone let him know that she could definitely read his thoughts.  _Damn._  Jack knew.  It had been a year of looks, touches, feelings.  If he couldn’t stomach the thought of a relationship with any woman other than Sam, then perhaps she felt the same way after all.  “There hasn’t been anyone else…” she continued, since he remained speechless.  He nodded and lifted his right hand up to stop her from revealing anything else.

“Of course, Sam,” he looked up briefly and saw her jaw was tight, her look uncertain. “I’m sorry, this is a bit of a surprise.  I, uh… I’m…”

“It’s okay, um… Listen,” Sam said, standing up and collecting her white paper, “maybe it’ll be better if I give you some time to let this sink in.  I still need some time myself; I just wanted you to—”

  “Wait,” he stood also.  “Please, wait.”  They stood face to face, looking into each other’s eyes.  Jack could swear hers had a slight sheen in them, but he couldn’t be certain. 

“Please, sit down,” Jack begged her.

She nodded and sat again, this time making herself comfortable all the way back on the couch, a soft sigh escaping her lips.  Jack ran his hands over his face, rubbing his eyes and making his way past her and towards the mantle again.

“Are you, ah…” he paused and turned his head this way and that, “are you… keeping it?”

She flinched but he never saw it, her face now downcast and sad.  “Ah, yeah... yes,” she saw his shoulders lose some of their tension, but he didn’t turn around.  “Maybe if it was fathered by a stranger, or someone I didn’t… uh, I might have considered it,” she spoke softly and he turned to face her.   _Someone I didn’t care about._   They both knew what she meant, it had been a hell of a year, and this mission happened far too close to the za’tarc confessions for her to have meant anything other than caring, other than love.  

“But I would never, _could_ never do that to you,” she added, shaking her head.  “I’m not sure I could do that to myself,” she hugged herself with both arms and shifted uncomfortably.  “Actually, the thought of an abortion hadn’t even entered my mind…”

He turned from the mantle and stared back at her for a long while.  He nodded briefly before walking back towards her and sitting down.  “I’m sorry I brought it up… I would have hated that.”

She met his eyes and held his gaze for a moment, until he looked away.

“Look,” Sam started, “This doesn’t have to affect both our careers.  My tenure on a front line unit is pretty much shot for now, what with the pregnancy and then raising a child.  But you don’t have to be affected by this,” Sam gestured at the situation.   “Women get pregnant.  They have babies.  This doesn’t have to be the end of the world.  As long as nobody knows who the father is, no one will be the wiser and—”

“Stop,” he said.  “This is crazy, stop.”

She obeyed, like she always did.

Sam breathed out loudly.  “Well, someone has to say something, you seem… I’m just trying to make this better.”

“Uh, yeah.  I never thought I would have a child again, so please, forgive me for being a bit shaken up,” Jack answered grouchily.

“Hey! This isn’t easy for me either,” she spat back, standing up.

“Well, you certainly have your whole future planned out without me!”

They were silent for a while and Sam sat back down.  She sighed and rubbed circles on her temples with her fingers.  “What do you mean, without you?  We can’t.  What do you expect, Jack?  To play family?  We’ll be court-martialed the minute someone finds out I’m pregnant with your child!  Both our careers will be over.”

He looked up sharply.  “So you want me to just pretend it’s not mine?”

Sam became even smaller than she felt.  “I don’t know, I just imagined that—”

“Is that what you want?” he pushed.

Her mouth agape, she stared at him.  “Um, I don’t know, I…”

“I’m not giving up my child.  I can’t, Sam!”

Sam moved her fingers from her head.  Of course he couldn’t.  She didn’t have any attachments to this baby, yet.  She couldn’t feel it, couldn’t even feel any pregnancy symptoms.  She wasn’t nauseated, tender, or otherwise hormonal.  She was just missing a period, for crying out loud!  How could she make any decisions about this while she had no connections to it yet.  She sighed again, missing Jonah and his comfort.  Jack knew what it was like to have a child.  Sam realized, suddenly, that he was also keenly aware of what life was like without a child, without one that was his.  _Damn._

She grasped her hands between her legs and tried to calm her beating heart.

“Maybe we need to think about it.  This isn’t going away… and we have months and months to come up with a solution, so maybe I should just go, for now…”

“No.”

“No?”

“No,” Jack wouldn’t budge.

“Jack…”

“Sam…”

She bit her lip and Jack announced, “I think we should tell Hammond.”

There was a very heavy silence in the already quiet room.

“Tell Hammond,” she repeated the phrase calmly and waited.  After a few minutes, she spoke her thoughts, “We can’t.  He’s your CO!” Sam shifted her left knee up onto the couch.

“He’s going to find out you’re pregnant anyway, as the base CMO, Janet has to tell him.”

Sam shook her head vigorously.  “I asked her not to.  I asked for the test to be a part of my private care.”

“None of us have private anything in the military, Carter.  Everything medical that we do at the base goes on our record.”

“Not mine,” Sam answered, her voice firm.

“What?”

“Not mine,” she cleared her throat and turned on the couch to face him, her left arm over the back of the couch.  “After Jolinar left the protein marker and naquadah in my blood I can’t go to any physician for anything, invasive or not, outside of the mountain.  I can’t have my blood drawn, my urine tested, my throat swabbed, nothing!  All of my medical care now has to go through the mountain.  The first year this happened I had a meeting with Janet and General Hammond about it.  I requested that I be allowed to keep non-base related illnesses and routine exams in a private capacity.   I didn’t see the need for the Air Force to keep tabs on my cavities or choice of birth control.  Janet agreed.  So, no, Janet won’t be sharing this information with General Hammond, not until I do.”

Jack looked back and his gaze landed on her orange sweater, making him shift.  “Okay, that buys you a bit of time, but not much.” Why the hell had she worn that color to his house?  “There’s a form she has to fill out... it’s required by the Force Health Management.  She has to notify the Service of any positive pregnancy results within a week.” He looked at her and noticed her face had paled.  “It might even be five days... has something to do with the Fetal Protection Program... and you’re on a front-line unit.”

“How do you know all this?”  Sam asked, feeling queasy and uncertain for the first time, her slim fingers running through her hair.

Jack took in her precarious state. “You don’t become a full bird without learning everything there is to know about the Air Force.” 

She closed her eyes and he winced at the arrogance of his speech, so he added, “one of my colleagues became pregnant when I was stationed in Germany.” 

“Ah…” she commented.

Jack thought of something as he was processing what she had just said, and his head spun quickly towards her.  “So… were you?”

Her eyes narrowed at his question.  “Was I what?”

“On birth control?” he clarified.

She tilted her head to the side and nodded.  “It’s a patch.  I wore it on my hip… taking a daily pill is too hard on missions.”

His mind immediately jumped to the memory of her hips.  He was man enough to admit that he remembered both the sight and the feel of them.  He looked back up and noticed that her cheeks had colored slightly, and he wondered why she felt embarrassed over this.  After everything he had done to her body, it surprised him that she could still feel remotely nervous about this. 

“They must’ve taken the patch off on the planet… or maybe I took it off myself, who knows? I probably didn’t remember why it was there,” Sam said, moving her eyes from his.

Jack nodded, but still looked a bit lost. “So without wearing the patch…”

Sam licked her lips.  “Yeah, no patch, no deal.  A new patch has to be worn each week.  I keep extras in my kit, but, anyway…”

He nodded.  _Alright then._ He ignored the effect the look of her tongue had on his lower body, and coughed.  Time for the hard questions.

“Does Janet know it’s mine?” Jack asked, changing the subject.

Sam sighed.  “Yes.”

Jack didn’t say anything, so Sam added, “She was in the observation deck during the za’tarc testing.  She asked me today if you were the father.  I didn’t answer but I’m sure she knows.  She has the estimated date of conception and that I was on P3R-118 on that date.”

“The very fact that you conceived while on a mission gives her the right to reveal it to General Hammond.  Are you sure she won’t?”

Sam looked alarmed, like she hadn’t thought it all through.  “She won’t,” Sam said, even as her mind was unsure.

Jack was pensive.  “Look, the fact that we were mind stamped to believe we were completely different people—”

“We were imprinted with different personalities,” Sam corrected, “that of Jonah and Thera.”

“Right! Even better!  We were imprinted into believing we were completely other people.  The brass will simply have to accept this baby as, as…”

“As what? Alien influence? We already lied, Jack!  What are they going to say when they find out that not only did we have a sexual relationship during the mission, we omitted that from our mission reports? We weren’t under alien influence when we wrote the damn reports.”

“That was my mistake.”

“What was?”

“The decision to omit it from our reports.  We should have dealt with it then, we should have dealt with it months ago.”

Sam shifted in her seat and tried to figure out what he could mean.  “There wasn’t anything to deal with months ago,” she said.

“Bullshit.”

“Hey!” Sam turned her body towards him, her look telling him that she didn’t appreciate his brusque attitude.  But she knew they had to do this, had to talk, and she was being plenty feisty herself.

“There’s been _something_ to deal with for months and you know it, years even…” Jack said, calmly.

The pregnant pause and the way she was biting her lower lip made him wish that he were biting it too.  This close to her he could smell her shampoo.  She hadn’t smelled like shampoo on the planet, showers weren’t really available all that often, but he remembered her smell, her scent.  It filled him now and threatened to throw him beneath the regulations, _again._

“What are you saying?” She asked, her voice having returned to its soft quality.

“I’m saying I shouldn’t have agreed to leave it in the room.  I didn’t _want_ to leave it in the room, Carter!”

She deflated and sat back down. He didn’t want to leave it in the room? Why the hell hadn’t he told her?  “This is such a mess,” she voiced.  She was shaky and holding her hand to her mouth.  Suddenly, she let out a humorless chuckle and spoke into the tense room; “Dad’s gonna be so disappointed in me.”

Jack felt an enormous sense of compassion for her then.  “Hey, come on. Don’t do that.  This is exactly why we have to come clean.  Having an illicit affair isn’t who you are.”

“I didn’t know at the time that I was having an illicit affair!”  Sam said angrily.

“I know! That’s what I mean.  That wouldn’t…  It isn’t who either of us is… this would never have happened if it weren’t for the damn mind stamp.”

She raised her eyebrows and felt brave.  “Wouldn’t it have?”

He looked away and groaned.  She was right, it very well could have.  “At least if it had under normal circumstances, I would’ve made sure you didn’t get pregnant.”  Then he winced.  God, why did he have to be such an ass?

“Oh, thanks. That really makes this so much better, Jack,” Sam retorted, dripping sarcasm, her anger building.

“Ack.  This isn’t how things are supposed to go.  What I meant to say was that I’d never put you in that position.  I’d never screw with your career that way.”

They both breathed in and out, in and out.  She knew he was genuine, that he would never jeopardize her career for a relationship with her, for a roll in the hay.  Sometimes she wished he would.  Sometimes, Sam was just _that_ desperate for a piece of self-fulfillment.  Her mind was going a mile a minute, with his confession, with her pregnancy, with the memory of how good he was at a roll in the hay.

“I think I should go,” she said instead.

“We haven’t decided what to do yet,” Jack stated.  The room’s tense atmosphere radiated heat and Sam suddenly wanted to feel cold again.

“I don’t think we can.  Not tonight.  I think we both need to think, let it sink in, then we can make some decisions.”

He didn’t say anything, just stared at a spot on his floor.

 “I’m gonna go now, Sir,” Sam said, ending any argument he might make for her departure. 

He nodded. “Okay.”

She stood and moved out of his way and up towards the door.  Turning, she was surprised to see he was still sitting on the couch, and hadn’t followed her to his front door.  “I’ll see you Monday?” she said as way of parting. 

Hearing her voice again made him move.  He stood and in three quick steps was again in front of her.  “Please take care of yourself, and call me if you need anything before Monday.”

She raised her eyebrows at him. 

“Just humor me,” he said.

“Yes, Sir.”

She turned and stepped onto the porch.

“And Sam?”

She turned quickly back to face him. 

“That plan you had – of telling people it was just some guy’s kid and he’s not involved, yada yada... it was a fine plan but there’s just one problem,” Jack said, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking on the balls of his feet.

“What?” she asked, dreading his response.

“You’re not a liar.”

She coughed uncomfortably and looked at her shoes.  “How do you know?” Then she chanced a look back up to his face.

“I know,” he said, holding her gaze, holding her heart.  “It’ll kill you… and the kid.  You don’t want to do it.”

Sam didn’t answer.  She licked her lips, looked around at his porch, then turned and left without another word.

Jack watched her leave in her little car.  He closed the door and rested his forehead against the wood of the door, willing answers into his brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Sam-Jack Always for the beta.
> 
> Thanks to Merista, sg1on, and Kathie for the help.
> 
> I appreciate all who are reading! xoxo


	3. Beneath Her

 

Sam woke up groggily and turned over on her side.  She groaned as the muscles in her lower back stretched and she slowly opened one eye, then the other.  The morning light was streaming in from her venetian blinds and Sam turned her head to look at her clock on her bedside table.  It said 9:47 a.m. Shocked and thinking her clock had somehow stopped working properly, Sam propped herself on her left elbow and reached for her wrist watch lying beside her water bottle.  The watch face revealed that Sam had indeed slept in longer than she had since her late 20s.  “Wow,” she said to herself, returning the wristwatch to her bedside table and rubbing her eyes with her right hand.  She had gotten into bed early the night before, but had been unable to fall asleep for many hours, thoughts of her conversation with Colonel O’Neill fresh in her mind.  She had begun weighing options, reviewing different outcomes, seeking positive solutions.  She had finally succumbed to sleep at some point, her pillow wet from tears she could not explain.  She threw the covers off her legs and moved out of bed towards her bathroom.

Once showered, Sam stood before her sink mirror and dropped her hands onto the counter, hands on either side of the sink, and stared at herself in the mirror.  “Samantha Carter, what are you going to do?” she asked the image in the mirror.  Receiving no illuminative answer, Sam sighed and grabbed a brush, combing through her spiky short hair.  They had done this to her, those bastards on 118.  Sure, her hair had probably been longer than regulations allowed anyway, but she had enjoyed the way Colonel O’Neill stared at her hair often, prided herself in being a little sexy and a little feminine with the longer look.  She sighed and chided herself for thinking such things. 

She reached for the bottles of pills on her counter, one tiny round pill, and one huge horse pill, folic acid and prenatal vitamins, an addition to her morning routine.  She winced as the giant pill caught in her throat, and opened the tap to cup some water to her mouth and aid in the swallow.  “Oh, that is disgusting!” Sam spoke to the empty bathroom, regretting her judgement of the chewable gummy variety she had passed up at the drugstore.  She had done some immediate research after taking a home pregnancy test, and the first course of action, according to the internet, was a good prenatal vitamin with a certain amount of folic acid in it.  But at the drug store, Sam couldn’t remember how much folic acid the vitamins had to contain, and opted for buying both products separately.  She made the mental decision to go back later today and pick up a jar of the gummy vitamins.  She didn’t believe she could swallow that pill again without gagging.

She spent the day lounging around her house, doing mindless tasks and hoping for some miracle solution to fall into her lap.  When she vomited her dinner shortly after eating it, she cursed her indisposition and prayed the rest of her pregnancy didn’t contain any more of that.  She hated vomiting, and as she wiped at her damp forehead near the toilet bowl, she remembered that she hated feeling this uneasy about her life, about her future.  A child wasn’t something she had planned at this point in her life, which is exactly why she was on birth control.  No, she wasn’t involved with a man, hadn’t slept with anyone before Jonah in… she didn’t even want to think about that.  She had been focused on her work with the Stargate Program.  The Air Force had been an easy option for her career; Jacob had encouraged her and modeled one of the only lives she knew.  After Sam’s mom had died, Jacob had become her only parental example, and she followed in his footsteps and in his dreams in a way that she hadn’t even realized until now.  Yes, he would be so disappointed in her, screwing her commanding officer and her career all in one blow.

She was going to be a mother, and she was going to need to make major changes to her life.  _She_ was going to be a _mother_ , and the father of her child was her commanding officer.  She stared at the white walls of the bathroom.  Jack really was the only man she could imagine herself having a child with.  Of course, in her imagination of that scenario, they weren’t forbidden lovers.  She remembered how adorable Jonah had been… remembered how he had slowly put his arms around her shoulders, then taken one of her hands in his.  She remembered the feeling of contentment the single act of hand-holding provided her, remembered the first time they kissed on the planet, remembered the first time his hand snuck under her pants.  She wondered now how they had managed to return to the role of Major and Colonel so quickly, how they had so easily suppressed the sexual connection that seemed stronger than any she had ever had.  She opened her eyes and sighed loudly, again.   Pulling herself up from the bathroom floor and looking again into the bathroom mirror, she squared her shoulders and said, “Time to start acting like a big girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Sam-Jack Always for the beta.
> 
> Thanks to each of you for reading and leaving your remarks! Hope you are enjoying the story!


	4. Beneath Him

 

Jack stood from the couch and made his way down the hallway to the spare room in his house.  He had it set up as an office and he used it on the rare occasion where he needed the computer or a desk.  He replaced the photo album onto the bookshelf and sighed.  Both hands resting in his pockets, he pursed his lips as he observed the few picture frames that lined the shelves.  Jack wasn’t usually a sentimental guy, but this whole Carter pregnancy thing was simply too much.  Memories of Charlie as a baby flooded him and he had reached for tangible evidence that Charlie had actually been real; that Jack O’Neill, at one point in his life, had been capable of fathering, loving, devoting himself to something small and wonderful.  Charlie had transformed his life, and his death had almost ended Jack’s own.

He wondered now about Sam’s kid.  _His_ kid.  He wondered what he or she would look like, what it would feel like to hold his own child again.  The situation was truly complicated for him and Sam.  They had engaged in a more than unprofessional relationship on the ice planet, believing they were different people, having been imprinted with different personalities.  He wondered now if perhaps their personalities had been designed to be pre-disposed towards one-another.  It was a possible scenario, sure, but in all likelihood they had gravitated towards one another because of the feelings and emotions that were already present in their brains, unable to be erased or printed over.  Added to that was the pure chemistry, the magnetism that drew Jack and Sam together regardless of their state of mind.  The mind stamp on 118 had removed all vestiges of regulations, had broken down their previous commitment to military rules and erased whatever inhibitions they might have had concerning offering themselves to each other freely and without thought of repercussions.  He remembered Sam’s willingness in those moments, her honesty in her affection for him, her feelings for him.  He groaned at the memory of her lips parting under his, of her sighs of pleasure, of her open participation in the hurried and unhurried acts of lovemaking.  Yes, there had been four times, and his lips quirked up at the memory that half of those had been initiated by her.

The picture of Charlie riding a tricycle caught his eye, and Jack remembered the exact day.  Sarah’s dad had brought the bike over the day of Charlie’s second birthday and Charlie had learned immediately how to peddle.  Jack remembered his joy at watching the tiny chubby feet slip occasionally from the pedals, his pride at having a son who was smart and tall, and who looked like him.  He closed his eyes and knew that he couldn’t let Sam block him from being the father of her son, couldn’t keep him from loving this child, raising this child, supporting his or her every move.  It was a second chance.  Maybe this kid could really change his life, end his loneliness, give him some purpose outside of the mountain.  And there was Sam… nothing could be more complicated than wanting a relationship with a subordinate officer in your command.  He shook his head.  _Scratch that_.  Impregnating a subordinate officer in your command while on a mission was indeed more complicated.  She was the most beautiful woman in all of Colorado, the most attractive soldier in any military organization on the planet, the smartest woman in the entire Galaxy.  And he wanted her.

This kid, _his_ kid… was also _their_ kid.  Together.

He started when he heard the familiar ring of his phone through the open door.  Quickly making his way out, he saw Carter’s name on the caller ID.  Hope bubbled in his chest. 

“Carter?”

“Hey,” she answered.

“You alright?” she sounded flustered to him, maybe a bit out of breath.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Sir,” she answered quickly.

“Okay.”

“Can you meet me?”

“Sure, of course,” Jack answered immediately.

“At the diner... I’m driving there now,” she said, and he didn’t have to ask which diner.

“I’ll meet you there in ten.”

Maybe his second chance would start now.


	5. Beneath the Table

 

He arrived at the diner and found her almost immediately.  It was past 2000 and the place wasn’t very popular anyway, so he spotted the blond head and walked towards it.  He slid into her narrow booth, and she started.  The booth was so tiny that their knees touched slightly.

“Sorry, I thought you saw me come in,” Jack spoke, shifting across from her so that their knees lost their contact.

“That’s alright… I’m a bit jumpy these days… after 118 -- after coming back,” she amended her statement, looking around.

“There’s no one here, Carter,” Jack indicated while looking around himself.  “We could plot the entire destruction of the Goa’uld, name by name, and no one would care.”

She nodded and a waitress with white hair approached carrying a tray and delivered a cup to Sam’s side of the table.  “Can I get you some coffee, young man?”

Sam smiled and Jack laughed.  “Yeah, that’d be great, thanks.” She left a menu in front of both of them and left.

“Is that tea, Carter?” Jack motioned to her cup, looking slightly disgusted.

“Yeah,” was all she said.  If he didn’t know pregnant women couldn’t handle a ton of caffeine, she wasn’t going to be the one to point it out.

“How you feeling?”

Sam pursed her lips. “Alright… had my first bout of morning sickness today… after dinner, actually.  Can’t say that I loved the experience,” Sam said, feeling awkward about the whole conversation.  She was talking to her commanding officer about morning sickness and that was a big change; she found she didn’t want to discuss this pregnancy with her commanding officer at all.  She had to look at this from a whole different perspective: he was the father of the child, the man she had had sex with, the man who had made her cry out from within the corners of an underground energy bunker.  He couldn’t be her commanding officer right now.  He had to be Jonah, had to be Jack: the man who had gotten her pregnant.

“I’ve been thinking that maybe you’re right,” she braved.

“I’m right?” Jack raised his eyebrows.

“What you said before,” she looked into his eyes.  “I think we need to come clean.  Open up about what happened, how many times, why, the reason we lied on the reports, everything…”

Jack’s jaw went slack.  He was surprised by her complete change in thinking, and he was glad.  This meant she wasn’t going to hide the fact that he was the father.  This meant that at least Hammond would know the truth, and if Hammond knew…

“I think that’s the best decision, Sam.”

She nodded.  “You’re right.  Lying would kill me later on, it would break me.  And I don’t want this child to suffer because of my choices.  I want this all to be handled before it’s born.  Before it has a chance to know…”

The waitress came back with Jack’s coffee.  She readied a notepad and pulled a pencil from the bun in her hair. “What’ll it be?”

Jack smiled, “Do you have any pie?”

“Sure, honey.  Cherry or blueberry?”

“Cherry.”

“Whipped cream?”

“Of course.”

“And what about you, Sugar?” the waitress asked Sam.

“I’ll just stick to my tea for now, thanks,” Sam spoke, tapping her finger to the rim of her cup.

The waitress nodded and left. 

“Sorry you feel… sick,” Jack said.

Sam half smiled.  “I’ll just have to get used to it.  It’s really not bad so far.”

Jack nodded and remembered how sick Sara had been at the beginning of her pregnancy with Charlie.  He thought about bringing it up, how he had often held Sara’s hair back from her face as she got sick in the toilet, but decided against it.  This was Sam’s pregnancy, Sam’s moment.  He didn’t need to bring Sara or Charlie into it, wouldn’t make Sam feel any better about herself or the situation.  He wanted to ask her exactly what had made her change her mind, but instead he asked:

“When we talk to Hammond, can we keep the ‘number of times’ to ourselves?”

She laughed out loud and the thought left a huge smile on her face. She looked up at him appreciatively, knowing he had said it on purpose, to break the ice, to make her smile.

“That’s probably a good idea, Sir.”

The smile left his own face and he pursed his lips.  “Uhum.  Sir…”

Sam sipped her tea again and tried not to think of that moment in Brenna’s office shortly after their memories had returned.

“So, I can meet you Monday in his office?” Jack said, trying to break the tension.

Sam shook her head.  “Maybe Wednesday? Our mission on Tuesday is to P5S-381 and it should be a breeze.”

Jack thought for a moment.  “The Enkarans are taken care of, Carter.”  It had been a long while since he asked her to carry out an order she didn’t want to comply with, one that would kill an entire species, and he didn’t really want to revisit that whole episode.

“Yes, the new planet has a stable and high ozone concentration, but I still have a lot of questions about how their physiology works and Daniel still hasn’t quite figured out which Goa’uld they were serving.”

Jack cocked his head to the side and swallowed a long, slow swallow.  “Carter, are you actually talking about going through the gate on Tuesday?”

She looked around the restaurant again.  “The mission is no danger, Sir.  Basically gathering more intel on friendlies.  It’s a safe planet, and Dr. Lee thinks these contacts he’s developing will actually help their corneas adjust to less dense ozone layers in the futu—”

“Carter!” Jack interrupted.  “There’s no way I’m letting you go to P5S-381.”

“Not _letting_ me go?”  Her eyebrows turned higher than Teal’c’s on any given day.  “You’re going to get all overprotective of me now just because I’m carrying your child?” Sam barked at him, though the second part of her sentence was hushed.  “You approved the mission weeks ago.”

There was a bit of silence while Jack rubbed his left hand through his hair.

“You know that any mission, however routine or ‘safe’ as you just called it can end up FUBAR at any minute.  There is absolutely no reason to put you in harm’s way.  Hammond would have my head if he ever found out I knew you were pregnant and allowed him to send you into a war zone,” Jack said back to her in a forceful, hushed tone.

“P5S-381 is not a warzone! For crying out loud!” Sam said, exasperated.

“Yeah, well… that’s my line anyway!”

Their waitress chose that moment to pop in with Jack’s pie.  Noticing the fumes threatening to come out of Sam’s ears, she clucked with her tongue and turned quickly away from the table.

“I didn’t come here to fight with you,” Sam said as the waitress disappeared, willing herself to calm down.

Jack took a deep breath and reached for the two rolled up napkins on the table.  Unrolling the first set, he took the fork out and placed it in front of Sam.  He unrolled the second and took the fork in his right hand.  He placed the generous slice of cherry pie in the center of the table, facing Sam, and took a piece off the back of the pie.  It had mostly crust and no whipped cream on it, but he licked his lips and made an appreciative sound nonetheless, trying to entice her to take a bite.

“I didn’t come here to fight with you either,” Jack spoke.  “I just…” he raised his eyes and saw that she was staring straight at him.  “I understand that it will be difficult for you to give up gate travel.  I understand that you might want to delay telling Hammond as much as you possibly can.  I’m not trying to be an overprotective ass, though that may be inevitable in the coming months…” he paused briefly and took in her posture, which had begun to soften.  She was still looking straight at him, eager to hear anything he might have to say.  “I just want you to realize that you may not be able to make this decision alone anymore.  You’re also forgetting that Janet knows.  She won’t let you go even if I okay it.”

Sam met his eyes and stuck out her chin, a miniscule move with huge meaning.

“Come on!” Jack pushed, “You have to think that whatever happens to you, or your body, in the next nine months, also happens to baby O’Neill.”

Sam winced.  “God, can we not call it that?”

Jack nodded.  “Junior?”

“It’s not a Goa’uld!” Sam said.

Jack nodded once more.  “Yeah… and Teal’c might get jealous.”

“Oh, God,” Sam shook her head and stared at the pie, but Jack noticed she had enjoyed the joke, and he counted it as a victory.  Silently, she took the fork in front of her, and brought a generous bite of pie to her mouth. “Mmm, that’s good.”

Jack smiled.  “Yep, you can never go wrong with pie.”  He took another bite himself.

He watched her take a few more bites, the gears in her head turning.

“The mission is scheduled for 0700 on Tuesday, Carter.”

She looked up and finally met his gaze again.  “I know,” she said.

There was a bit of silence.  Jack could see her thinking, processing.

“It’s Saturday,” she announced.  She realized that even though P5S-381 was safe, that Jack was right, that anything could happen at any moment.  Even as they had been on the planet, thinking they were safe, there had been a species of slimy alien lizards burning up the planet on the other side.  She sighed.   “Let’s just take the rest of the weekend to think, get some perspective.  On Monday I can tell General Hammond that I’m pregnant, and he’ll probably assign me to the lab,” she said, resigned.

“He might put you in for a transfer, the SGC is a war zone, you know that.  It’s no place for a pregnant woman.”

She stared at him, as if she hadn’t thought of it.  “He won’t.  Will he? I don’t think he would.  There was a pregnant nurse last year that worked with Janet, remember?  She didn’t leave.”

“She wasn’t so connected to the gate, Sam.  You’re the expert on the whole thing.”

“Right… exactly!  So they won’t transfer me.  I’m sure of it,” she said, cupping her teacup in her hands and thinking about the way he had called her Sam, and not ‘Carter.’

“I’m not so sure.”

“Well, ok, then,” Sam said, rolling her eyes.

“Sam…”

“What? What do you want from me?  I’m trying to do the right thing!”

“For who?” He said, too loudly.  He sighed.  “For whom?” he corrected himself.

“The right thing for this baby… It won’t have a future if one or both of its parents are court martialed.”

“Oh, please!  They won’t throw us in the brig.” He didn’t know who she’d been listening to, but things didn’t operate that way.

“No?”

 “No.  I won’t end up in Leavenworth and you won’t step foot in Miramar.”  He answered clearly, then added, “they don’t do that unless it was forced.”

“It wasn’t,” she said quickly, and the sudden memory of her willing participation sent a shiver down his spine.

“No, it wasn’t.” She had led in the talking about feelings, he had led in the touching, the kissing.  She had initiated emotional contact, and he had pinned her down to the cold floor.  He sighed and ran a hand down his face.  The memory of their last time together rushed to his mind, her face above him flushed from physical relief, as he turned them over to seek his own.

“What _would_ they do?” She broke through his thoughts.

He moved his head from one side to the other as if to shake the images from his mind.  “To you? Nothing… maybe a mark on your record; delay your next promotion by a few years.  You might never have a command of your own...”

Her lips thinned into a line and she nodded.  “And you?”

Jack pursed his lips.  “They’d probably demote me to Major, take away my command, something like that.”

She was silent for a long moment, and he wondered if she realized that –

“They’ll split us up,” she spoke as revelation dawned.

“Yes.  That’ll be the first thing that happens,” he looked at her to see her staring blankly at a spot near the wall.  “But that’s happening anyway because of the pregnancy.”

Sam’s eyes were shifting dramatically fast, around the table, around the room.  She had, so far, pictured the life where she would keep the baby and not reveal the parentage, stay connected to her old life somehow, stay close to O’Neill’s command in any way she could.

“Sam,” Jack whispered, reaching a hand beneath the table and finding her knee.  “I’m here with you and we’re going to figure this out.  You’re not alone in this.”

“I can’t let you lose your command.”

“We don’t know if that’ll happen.  We don’t know for sure if anything will happen.”

She swallowed and stared into his chocolate brown eyes.  She could feel the warmth of his hands through her jeans and wished, selfishly, that she was wearing shorts.  She longed to feel his skin on hers again, needed the comfort Jonah’s hands had brought her.

“I’d like to be there when you tell Hammond,” she heard him whisper as he moved his thumb slowly around her kneecap.  “I think it would be best if we told him everything together.”

Sam felt the wetness in her eyes, but she looked up at the dirty lamp hanging above their table to dispel the moisture.  Of course she hadn’t felt emotionally affected by the hormones yet, this had to be from the way his fingers moved over her jeans, had to be from his words assuring support, had to be anything but the pregnancy making her feel the weight of the world on her shoulders.  _Damn timing._   Feeling brave, and a little stupid, Sam reached under the table with her right hand and touched her fingertips over his.  He immediately turned his hands over on her knees and captured her fingertips in his hands, holding onto them tightly.  The moment long, they stared at each other, a million words passing between, yet nothing being said.

“Can I get you another slice of pie, folks?”

Startled, Sam yanked her hand back and folded both hands across the table in front of her.  Jack looked up at the intrusive waitress.  “I think that’ll be all for now, thank you, Ma’am.”

“Sure, honey. Anytime.”  She left the bill face down on the table, and trotted off, humming a tune.

“What exactly are we confessing to?” Sam asked, running a finger down the whipped cream left on the pie plate.

“What do you mean?” Jack said, even as he caught sight of Sam bringing a finger of whipped cream to her mouth, then back out, her long index finger moist from the activity.  Sam looked up and saw Jack swallow, a hungry and dazed look on his face.  Following his eyesight to her wet finger, Sam quickly dropped her hand to her lap.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, knowing exactly what his dazed look was about, feeling it herself often as a twinge between her legs.

Jack cleared his throat.  “What are we talking about?” He shifted in his seat.

Sam licked her lips and smiled.  “What to tell Hammond.”

“Right.  Why don’t I tell him the whole story, and you can fill in the details…”

“Um,” Sam looked around and brought her upper body over the table a bit, getting her face closer to his.  “And we can keep the details to ourselves?” she whispered.

He swallowed again.  “Hum… we’ll just mention the basics.  He’ll know everything when we tell him you’re pregnant,” Jack whispered back, and felt a bit sad when Sam’s upper body returned to rest against the back of her booth.

Sam felt spent.  They sat in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company the same way they had done, sometimes silently, on the ice planet.  She finished her tea and felt the way his knees sometimes bumped hers, loving the closeness, loving the peace.  She calmly reached into the pocket of her jean jacket and pulled out the thin 4 by 4 sheet.  She could see Jack’s eyes on her as she looked at the image, then, placed it right in front of him, facing him.

She saw the way his breath caught in his throat, the way his eyes were locked to the gray figure on the center of the picture, watched as his right hand reached over the picture, the way his index finger touched the image of his unborn child.

“Janet did an ultrasound that day to confirm the… date,” she told him.  “Everything’s fine, everything looks good, perfect… right.”

Jack nodded and understood what it is she had just said, but he simply couldn’t tear his eyes away from the picture of the first concrete evidence that he was really going to be a father.  Smiling, Sam slid out of the booth.

“See you Monday, Jack.”

When Jack can finally rip his eyes away from the picture, she’s gone.  He’s torn between the disappointment of the loss of her company and the joy at being able to keep the picture.  It doesn’t even look like a baby, just a thing, but Jack didn’t seem to care.  He whispered a name as he tenderly touched the picture once again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: 
> 
> Thank you, kindly, to ShoeQueen, who months ago helped me understand what might actually happen to military personnel caught in an illicit relationship.  The above conversation, and the next chapters, is my own interpretation of what consequences Sam and Jack might experience, all alien influence aside.  I wonder what Hammond will do?
> 
> Thank you Mon, for the excellent beta, and my twitter gals, for the help.
> 
> Let me know what you think.


	6. Beneath the Standards - Part I

 

It was Monday morning when Sam and Jack made their way up the stairs and past the briefing room to General Hammond’s office.  Sam had arrived at the mountain around 0630, and the whole team had met for breakfast as usual.  If Teal’c and Daniel noticed the tension of the other pair, neither had spoken of it. Sam led the way, and knocked lightly on the open doorway.

“Come,” they both heard from within.

Sam placed her body against the open doorway.  “General Hammond, Sir.”

“Come in, Major Carter.  What can I do for you?”

“Do you have a moment, Sir?” Sam asked just as Jack made his presence known.

Hammond frowned a bit.  “Colonel, Major?” He asked.

“Uh… we’d like a word, Sir.  In private?” Jack added.

Hammond motioned down with his chin and Sam moved through the office and sat in a chair closest to the door.  Jack closed the door just as Hammond stood to close the door that led to the other hallway exit.  Hammond wasn’t surprised by two of his officers requesting to have a private conversation.  Plenty happened at the SGC that didn’t need to be heard by a passing airman in training.

Jack sat in a chair next to Sam and waited as General Hammond returned to his own seat.  “What’s this about, folks?” Hammond spoke in his Texas draw.

“Sir, Colonel O’Neill and I are here to amend a report,” Sam said looking bravely into the General’s eyes.

Hammond’s eyebrows stayed put, but he pursed his lips.  “Amend a report?”

“Yes, Sir… a mission report,” Jack took a turn responding, looking at a spot on the wall behind Hammond’s head.

“Which mission are we talking about here, people?” Hammond asked, to the point, looking around at his two officers and noting their stiff postures, the slight fluster to Major Carter’s usually composed face, Jack’s inability to make eye contact.

“The mission report from P3X-118, Sir.  The ice planet, Sir,” Sam said, looking down.

“Okay,” Hammond anticipated, remembering the mission.  “You want to amend the report.  I’m assuming you remembered something else that occurred on the planet?  Dr. Fraiser has explained to me that the mind stamp technology is a bit beyond our understanding at the moment, but that anything connected to your memory is possible.”

Hammond didn’t miss the way Sam and Jack suddenly looked at each other, the way Sam’s eyebrows turned, the way Jack looked totally confused, the way he was sitting unnaturally still.  _Had Janet already told him? Was he giving them an ‘out?’_

General Hammond sat up on his chair, a worried look upon his face.  “Spit it out, people.  What’s going on?” He demanded firmly.

Sam looked up sharply while Jack sighed loudly.

“No, Sir,” Jack stated clearly, “We are here to amend information to our report that we previous had memory of but had, for reasons which you will see, chosen to omit.”

“To omit?”  Hammond repeated, his chin going down.

“Yes, Sir,” Sam started, drawing a large breath of air.  “As you remember, Sir, upon arriving on the planet, all of us were stamped with their technology for use in the underground bunker facility.”

“With the mind stamp – Hammond interrupted – I already know this, Major Carter.”

“Well, Sir,” Sam continued, “the mind stamp made us believe we were different people, gave us new personas.  None of us, including Daniel, remembered who we were before the mind stamp.  In fact, we think the stamp even gave us fake memories.”

“That’s right!” Jack piped in.  “I even remembered working in the mines!”

“Well, that’s still my conjecture, Sir,” Sam said looking at Jack.  “I think they may have also just informed us of what we did in the past and we just chose to believe and make that part of our personal story.”

“Oh,” Jack said, frowning.

“Get to the point, Major,” General Hammond said firmly, not liking where this conversation might lead.

“Yes, Sir.  The point is that Colonel O’Neill and myself were not aware of who we were while we were on the planet.  We were unaware of the military,” she said, slowing down, “of the Air Force…of our jobs.”

“The regs…” added Jack, saying what really needed to be said.

Hammond’s eyes narrowed.  “Excuse me?”

Sam and Jack looked at each other and Jack nodded minutely to Sam and they both turned back to meet Hammond’s stern eyes.

“During our time in P3X-118, while under the influence of the mind stamp and believing we were Jonah and Thera instead of Colonel and Major, Major Carter and I engaged in an unprofessional relationship.  Sir,” Jack added belatedly.

Hammond’s lips were pursed and he was looking back and forth between his officers.  Major Carter was biting her lower lip and looking down, Jack was tightening his hands into fists, then loosening them, repeatedly.

“Unprofessional?”

“Yes, Sir,” said Jack.

Hammond ignored Jack and looked straight at Sam.  “Major?”

She slowly lifted her head.  “An intimate relationship, Sir,” Sam said calmly, meeting his hard eyes, then lowering her gaze again.  “A sexual relationship.”

Hammond grunted, shifted in his seat and looked again between his two best officers.  The wariness and uncertainty was still palpable.  He looked at his desk and picked up a file folder.

“Jack, take this to Walter and tell him to delay my briefing with SG-12 ‘till 1400 hours today.” He held out the folder as he held the man’s eyes. 

“Sir…” Jack tried.

“Now,” was Hammond’s quick and hard reply.

“Yes, Sir,” Jack said, casting an apologetic glance Sam’s way. He didn’t want to leave her alone with Hammond but he knew exactly what Hammond had to ask her.

“You’ll return in ten minutes and wait outside the door.” Hammond commanded.

 “Yes, Sir.” Jack answered, leaving them.

“Sam,” General Hammond said as soon as the door was closed. 

“Sir?” Sam asked, still not looking up.

“Please look at me,” he said in a gentle voice.  She looked up immediately, never one to disobey an order.

“I’m sorry, Major, but it’s my responsibility to know if—”

“It wasn’t forced, Sir,” Sam interrupted him, understanding exactly why Jack had been dismissed.  “The entire relationship was consensual,” she added.

Hammond smiled sadly.  “I see.  Thank you for understanding what I was about to ask you, Major.  I apologize for having to ask you this, but I have to tell you that Colonel O’Neill will never be told that if you reported that he…” Hammond looked around the room trying to find the right words to say. “What I’m asking is… are you sure there was no improper… ah, handling, concerning this sexual encounter?”

Sam colored slightly.  It wasn’t just Hammond’s awkward questions, but the realization that she had to – wanted to - set the record completely straight.  Her ears, neck, and face were feeling incredibly hot.  “Sir, permission to speak freely?”

“Yes, Major.  Of course,” Hammond answered.

Sam took a moment to think through what she wanted to say.  After a minute, she looked up and straight into the General’s eyes.  “I’d like to apologize to you, Sir.  Colonel O’Neill and I realized the severity of how far Jonah and Thera had crossed the lines, had broken the fraternization regulations.  We were truly not ourselves, Sir.  We believed we were different people.” Sam took a deep breath.  “From the beginning, Jonah and I were drawn towards each other on the planet.  We had different jobs and worked in different areas, but we still… found each other.  We had our meals together and spent our free time in the evenings in each other’s company.  All of SG1 gravitated towards one another, except Teal’c who was often gone, but the Colonel and I went beyond the group gathering...”  Sam took a few more moments to compose her thoughts and noticed General Hammond was waiting patiently for her, his hands casual on the arms of his chair, so she plowed ahead, “A few weeks into our time there we began a more intimate relationship.  It was consensual on all accounts, Sir.  Colonel O’Neill never forced himself on me, not once.” She paused and licked her lips, “I never forced myself on him either.” She let out a long breath.

Hammond nodded, staying silent, seeing if anything would be said.  Sam swallowed compulsively, and wiped her sweaty hands on her pants.  She looked back up and cleared her throat.  “Also, um, I’d like to add that our intimate relationship was not an isolated event, Sir.”  Sam didn’t know why, but she didn’t feel right with the General thinking it was a single miscalculated encounter.

“I understand, Major, and I appreciate your candor, here.  I realize this must not be easy for you.”

“No, Sir… and with all due respect, Sir, I’d prefer for Colonel O’Neill to be in here for the rest of this conversation,” Sam said, not wanting to reveal the pregnancy without Jack around.

Hammond noticed her shift in focus and realized that there had to be a reason, after all this time, that his two best officers had decided to come clean about the omission on their mission reports.  Perhaps the guilt had consumed them?  Or worse, perhaps the pair wished to continue in their “intimate relationship,” _Damn._

“Major Carter,” Hammond said, switching from tender to commanding in an instant.  “Have you and Colonel O’Neill engaged in a similar relationship after returning to Earth from P3X-118?”

“No, Sir!” Sam answered, shaking her head.  “Sir, we have not,” she repeated, firmly.

Hammond was confused, his face telling, “Then why the change of heart? Why reveal this now, unless it’s affecting the unity of the team?”

Sam closed her eyes briefly and bit her bottom lip.  Opening them again, she met Hammond’s eyes, then, turned her head towards the closed door, willing Jack to come back into the room.  She returned her gaze to Hammond’s desk and spoke: “Because I’m pregnant, Sir.”


	7. Beneath the Standards - Part II

Jack had delivered the damn folder to Walter with his message, used the john, paced the gateroom, and was now pacing the briefing room.  Through the window in Hammond’s office he could see that the General had moved from his chair behind his desk to sit next to Sam, who had her head lowered.  Damn, he hoped Sam hadn’t had to tell Hammond about the pregnancy by herself.  He knew Hammond had to ask her the indelicate question surrounding the nature of the act.  Had it been consensual or forced?  Jack sighed and looked again through the window to see Sam’s face now held high, talking animatedly to Hammond.  He watched as Hammond nodded and spoke to her in return, then stood.  Jack took his hands out of his pockets and stood at attention.

Sam came through the door, her face red, but no tears seemed to line her face, and Jack was thankful.  “Carter?”

“General Hammond would like to speak with you, Sir,” Sam said loud enough that Hammond could hear her, she then moved past Jack and down towards the control room without a backward glance.  Not wanting to anger the General by making him wait, Jack made his way to the doorway.

“Sir,” he announced his presence.

“Close the door, sit down,” General Hammond said, all business.

“Yes, Sir,” Jack replied, complying immediately.

Hammond breathed in and out several times.  “Can you guarantee to me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you did not force Major Carter into this relationship on P3X-118?”

Jack narrowed his eyes.  “No, Sir.  I mean, of course not, Sir!  Ah!  It wasn’t like that, George!”

“Can you be sure? This technology apparently messed with your brains quite a bit, are you certain you remember all the events that happened?  That it was in fact Major Carter whom you had a relationship with?”  Hammond was pulling at straws, and Jack knew it.

“Yes, Sir.  Although the technology placed a new identity within us, I remember everything that happened while we were there.  The relationship developed between me and Thera, me and Major Carter, and it was only through mutual consent that the relationship, uh… went further.  Sir,” Jack added, again belatedly.

Hammond nodded, apparently satisfied.  “Major Carter said the same.”

Jack watched Hammond for a moment.

“What all did she say, Sir?” Jack begged, buttoning and unbuttoning a pocket on his BDU pants.

Hammond looked at Jack disapprovingly.  “She said she’s two months along with your child,” Hammond revealed.

Jack looked up from his activity with his button.  “Ah… that.”

“Whose decision was it to omit this ‘relationship’ from your mission reports?” Hammond asked point blank.

Jack thought back to their conversation in the diner.  Not really being able to recall all that was said, he figured the best thing was to pick up the blame.  “Mine, Sir.  I believed that what happened wouldn’t affect the team, and Major Carter agreed.  Sir, this wouldn’t have happened if our real identities hadn’t been suppressed by that damn mind stamp!” Seeing Hammond’s face was still impassive, Jack added.  “The decision to omit the relationship from the report rested on me, Sir.  As her commanding officer I should have instructed her to write her mission report including all details, and reported myself to you upon our return.  I sincerely apologize for the position this now puts Major Carter and I can vouch for her complete—”

“Calm down, Jack, I’m not gonna hang you out to dry,” Hammond interrupted, rubbing his hand down his face.

Jack looked up to see Hammond moving from behind his desk, like he had done with Sam, and sitting next to him.  “I actually completely understand why you omitted it from your reports.  I don’t like it, but I understand.  It certainly won’t make my job any easier.”

“No, Sir.”

Hammond allowed for a bit of silence while he observed his best officer.  Jack looked haggard, worried, torn.

“Major Carter has informed me that she intends to carry the pregnancy to term and that she would also like to keep the baby,” Hammond said and saw Jack nod.  “I informed her that I believed this decision to be hers entirely and not the decision of the Air Force.”  Hammond paused and cleared his throat.  “Furthermore, she mentioned to me that you seemed interested in participating in the child’s life.  Is that correct, son?”

Jack’s head snapped up.  “Participating in the child’s life?  Is that how she put it?” Jack said, distaste dripping from his voice.

“Jack…”

“Sir, the kid’s mine,” he protested.  “There’s no way I’d give it up.  Gah,” he ran a hand down his face.  “I never thought I’d be a dad again, George.”

“I know.”

 “I’m sorry about screwing up, Sir,” Hammond heard Jack say.  “I should have told you immediately.”

“I know that too, son.”

“What will you do?” Jack asked.

“Well, I’m not quite done asking questions,” Hammond revealed.

Jack pursed his lips and nodded.  “Okay.”

“Has this relationship continued after your return?”  Hammond asked, not faltering in his commanding authority.

“No.  Absolutely not, Sir,” Jack responded confidently.

“Okay.  What about…. emotional parts of the… affair, for lack of a better word; has it continued after the planet?”

Jack swallowed. “No, Sir.”

Hammond raised his brows.  “You don’t look very sure, Son.”

“Sir, it has not affected the unity or effectiveness of the team.” Jack was trying to be honest, even as he remembered how often Sam had worn  the color orange during the past few weeks, how easily she made him smile, how hard it had been to sleep without picturing her body near his, how difficult it was to have dinner without her presence.

“Okay,” Hammond allowed, examining Jack’s behavior.  “Was the emotional connection present before the planet?”

Jack shrugged, having no idea how much to reveal to Hammond.  “Emotional? I don’t know… wouldn’t know how to describe it.  Attraction? Yes.”

“I read the report from the Za’tarc testing, Jack.”

“Well… then you know…” Jack gestured vaguely.

“So you admit you shouldn’t have been on the same team!” Hammond exclaimed.

“Not necessarily, Sir.  C’mon, George!  How many times have you been on a team with a brilliant, attractive woman and not had some kind of infatuation? If that damn planet hadn’t blocked our brains and made us forget the regs I would never, never have jeopardized a mission, this command, or Major Carter’s career.  You have to know that, George!”

Hammond breathed in and out and pursed his lips and a long while passed. “Why do you think I kept you on the same team?”

“’Cause we keep saving the damn world, that’s why,” Jack said seriously, but Hammond chuckled.

There was a pause and they both became serious again. 

“It wasn’t just a roll in the hay, Sir,” Jack sighed, unsure of where the confession came from.

Hammond rolled his eyes and nodded.  “Major Carter has informed me that this was not a single event.”

“That’s not what I mean, George.”

Hammond whipped his head up and stared at Jack.  “Well, what do you mean?”

“I mean it wasn’t just physical. It wasn’t just sex on the planet, Sir,” Jack looked straight at his commanding officer.  “There was a relationship, a connection, like you said.  Since returning from the ice planet we’ve been fine, functioning as a team fine, but I know, I can tell, this is… was going to blow up at some point.”

“So you were wrong, both of you were wrong, when you decided it wouldn’t affect the team?”

Jack nodded. Hammond waited, but nothing else was said.

“Are you in love with her?” Hammond whispered.

Jack bit down hard on the inside skin of his cheek and though his head was angled towards the floor, his eyes looked up to meet his commanding officer’s.  Finally, Jack spoke.  “Jonah was in love with Thera.”

“Sounds a bit confusing.”

“Tell me about it.”

Hammond sat still and took in the information.  His officers had been the pinnacle of decorum, and this situation just went to show how deep secrets could go.

“Well… tell me this,” Hammond then said while leaning forward in his chair.  “How do you intend on _including_ yourself in the life of this child?  Have you and Major Carter discussed this further?”

“No, Sir,” Jack answered honestly, “We knew the first step had to be telling you, knew the first step would be to own up to our mistake.”

Hammond nodded.  “I see.” He rubbed his bald head. “Let me think on this, Jack… talk to my superiors.”

“Please, Sir.  Lay all the blame on me.  Carter is with child.  She needs all the freedom and innocence that is possible to her.”

Hammond nodded.  “I have your back, son.  Major Carter is the daughter of a dear friend.  I would never want to see her disrespected in any way.” 

There was a knock on the door and it startled Jack.  “Here they are.  Come!” Hammond spoke first to Jack then to the door.

Sam stumbled through the door first, her head held up, followed by Janet, who closed the door behind her.

“Have a seat, Major Carter,” Hammond gestured to the one empty chair next to Jack.  “Dr. Fraiser," Hammond acknowledged, “did you run the test I requested over the phone?”

“Yes, Sir,” Janet said, approaching his desk and handing him an open folder.  “A new and official test was run just a few minutes ago and was again positive, though the blood result will take a few hours.  Here are the results from the initial test and ultrasound that was run under Major Carter’s private care a few days ago.”

“And you can confirm that the pregnancy… started…” Hammond trailed off, trying to ask the right question in a way that didn’t bring any embarrassment, but he was failing miserably.

“The estimated date of conception was calculated during the ultrasound, Sir.  It is nothing more than an estimate drawn from the size of the fetus, but it is remarkably accurate for this purpose.  The date is here, Sir,” Fraiser pointed to a place on the folder, “and drawing from the length of time SG-1 was on the planet, there is no way Major Carter did not conceive while she was there.”

“And what about paternity? Can any of these tests prove that Colonel O’Neill is indeed the father?”

Sam’s head snapped up and she coughed loudly.  “Sir!  He is the Father,” she said pitifully.  She drew a large breath.  “I know this situation is unseemly and out of our usual parameters, but I remember everything that happened, and Colonel O’Neill is the only person that could be the Father,” she laid it out clearly.

“Sam, can you be sure you weren’t… in any way?” Fraiser said while gesturing vaguely, “I mean, if your minds were messed with at all?  Surely there are gaps where you don’t remember how you got to the underground bunker? What if someone took advantage of you?”

Sam’s mouth hung open as she looked from the General to her friend.  “Ah… this is so screwed up,” she said, lowering her head to her hands.

“I don’t understand why the paternity is important when I’m telling you, flat out, that it was me?” Jack spoke up, finally.  Sam’s head snapped up to meet his eyes.

Hammond cleared his throat and took in all the haggard occupants of his office.

“Thank you, Dr. Fraiser.  You may wait outside in the briefing room, please,” Hammond said.

“Of course, Sir,” Dr. Fraiser said, casting a last glance at Sam, who was now staring straight at the open folder on Hammond’s desk.  An additional ultrasound picture had been printed and was attached to the chart; she could see it from her seat.

When the door closed again, Hammond spoke.  “Okay, folks,” Hammond started and Sam stole a glance at Jack, who was staring straight at Hammond.  “We need to find a solution that will work for now,” he closed the folder in front of him and sat up, looking at his two officers.   He took a long breath and began, “For the time being, and until I state otherwise, Major Carter, you are to report directly to me.  SG-1 will be placed on stand down for a week.  Colonel, I’ve been needing some help with a few projects on base, and Teal’c and Daniel can be loaned out to other teams.  Major Carter, I’m ordering you to take five days to yourself, off base, and off work.  I don’t care where you go as long as it’s not out of town.” Hammond took a break and studied his people.  Jack’s jaw was in a total lock, and Major Carter’s right hand was covering her mouth, tears threatening in her eyes.  “I will consult only with the people necessary to find a permanent solution, here.  I recommend we keep this quiet, for now, and that you tell Teal’c and Daniel what is going on, demand their total discretion with this information,” Hammond saw Jack nod and one tear spill from Major Carter’s eyes.  “Major Carter, should I contact Jacob?”

“No!” she said quickly, wiping at her face. “Please, not yet, Sir.”

Hammond nodded, understanding.  “Okay.”

Jack’s eyes were glued on Sam.  He couldn’t believe how small she looked, how hurt she was, how much he felt he wanted to comfort her.  She was Thera, and she needed him, needed Jonah.

Hammond missed nothing.  “I want to remind you that following this meeting, Major Carter is to leave the base and that you are no longer in the same chain of command.  Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Sir,” they both answered.

“Furthermore, I’d like you to drive Major Cater home, son.”

“That won’t be necessary, General.  I have my car here anyway,” Sam said.

“Fine.  Dismissed.”

Sam stood quickly, fleeing the room.

“Jack, send Janet in.  And for goodness sakes, son, make sure Major Carter makes it home.”

“Yes, Sir!” he said, fleeing also.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any season 4 fans still with me?
> 
> Thanks, Sam-Jack-Always, for beta-ing your lil heart out!


	8. Beneath the Cells - Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, faithful readers, for your patience. Real life is slowing me down a bit. xoxo

Jack had been eating a slice of pie in the commissary when he heard his name paged over the PA system at the base.  He thought it was odd he was being paged to the infirmary instead of the gateroom, but he went, quickly.  When he arrived in the infirmity it was bare, the beds empty, the staff absent. 

“Hello?” Jack sang.

“Yes, Sir,” answered a small nurse that had come out of nowhere.  “That way, Sir, the last room down this hallway,” she pointed.

“Okay…” he bounced on his feet, then, took off in the right direction.  He approached the end of the hallway and saw Dr. Fraiser and General Hammond whispering.

“I’m just saying, Sir, that this is not the proper place for her! I don’t have the expertise and we don’t have the right equipment! I’m having an airman drive over a fetal monitor, but I still think it’s—”

“What’s going on,” Jack interrupted her, and Janet jumped, startled.

“Jack, thanks for coming,” Hammond said.  “Major Carter thought you’d want to know.”

“Know what?” Jack said harshly.  “What happened?”

“Major Carter is having some… pain, and some other symptoms related to her pregnancy,” Janet said, quietly.

Jack’s face paled a bit, and he nodded.  “Is it still okay?”

Janet nodded.  “So far, Sir, but I don’t know what’s causing this and I don’t know if it will stop… do you understand, Sir?”

“Can I?” Jack gestured to the door, ignoring her question.

“Of course, Sir.  I’ll be right in,” Janet said.

He walked in and Sam was lying down on her side, her face away from the door.

“Janet?” she called out.

“It’s me,” he answered, and she moved her head to see him.  “Do you need her?”  he asked, concerned.

She swallowed and lay her head back down.  “No.”

He came around the bed.  He found a chair and dragged it over, sitting down so he could be closer to her head.  “Are you okay?” he asked.

Sam shrugged.  “I was just getting used to the idea and now this…” she said quietly, then swallowed and grimaced, her eyes squinting.

“Pain?” Jack asked.

Sam nodded gently. 

“Why didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m telling you now,” she whispered harshly, then sighed, taking a deep breath.  “It just started, a bit ago.  I drove straight here.”  They hadn’t really talked since that meeting in Hammond’s office a few days ago, not really.  Sam had driven home and Jack had shown up at her doorstep that evening, “to see how you’re doing” he had said.  She didn’t invite him in, and he’d left looking rather disappointed.  “I need some time” she had said, time to cool down from being ordered off the mountain, away from her love, from her work.  She had planned on going to his house this evening, to say what, she still didn’t know.  But now this crisis had appeared, and being on good terms with her no-longer-Commanding-officer was the last thing on her mind.  She had begun to want this child, and the thought of anything happening to it sickened her.  She looked up from her musings and saw his face.  She loved his face too.  She sat up and started to scoot her feet off the side of the bed closest to him.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Getting up.”

“Uh... I don’t think you’re supposed to, Sam,” she looked up at his use of her name, but then kept moving off the bed.

“Well, I have to pee,” she said, finally shrugging the covers off herself.  When she scooted her bottom towards the edge of the bed to get up, she revealed a spot of blood on the sheets.  Jack saw her surprise and noted that this must not have happened before. “Shit,” she cursed.

“Janet!” Jack yelled towards the door, holding on to Sam’s forearms for comfort.

Janet and General Hammond came through the door quickly, having still been right outside discussing the situation.  When Sam saw them come in, she none too gently extracted her arms from Jack’s hold and told Janet, “I’m bleeding now, Janet.”

Janet approached and saw the sheets, noted the postures of her patients, decided on a course of action.  “Was there an episode of pain before this happened?”

“Yes!” Jack answered for her, then noticed Sam’s annoyance and backed off.

“Yes,” Sam said, much more calmly, “and I felt I needed to pee,” Sam said, suddenly feeling another slight cramp.  Janet noticed. 

“General,” Sam said weakly, looking unwell.

“Yes, Major Carter?” said Hammond, lost in the situation.

“I wonder if I might ask you to contact my father,” she said meekly.  “I know I said no before, but I wonder if—” 

“You don’t have to ask twice, Major,” Hammond said, moving to leave the room.

 “Please tell him the bare minimal, Sir.  Ask him for Selmak’s help.”

“Janet, I want to know what the hell is going on!” Jack knew that for Sam to ask for Selmak, something besides pain had to be involved.

“Calm down, Sir! I’m working on it!” Janet yelled.  “Now, you’re not exactly helping here, so I request you wait outside.”

Jack sat back down and said, “I’m sorry, I’ll be quiet,” hoping she’d let him stay.

“No, really,” Janet insisted.  “I’m going to perform an internal exam so you need to wait outside anyway.”

Jack nodded, watching as Sam stood briefly and Janet removed the bloody sheets, replacing them with clean new ones.  “Here’s a new gown, Sam,” Janet said handing it to Sam.  “Sir,” she turned to Jack once more, “with all due respect, get out,” Janet said firmly.

“He can stay,” Sam’s calm voice shocked both of them.

“Sam,” Janet started, but Sam interrupted her.

“It’s his kid, Janet,” Sam whispered.  “It’s his kid,” she repeated.  She looked at him and he mouthed a thank you, to which she nodded, gesturing for him to turn around.  Once he did, she turned also, and replacing her soiled gown with a new one, got back into the bed.  Janet covered her with a clean sheet.

“Okay,” Sam said, but Jack didn’t move.  “You can turn now, Sir,” and while she propped her knees up for Janet, she said, “just stay near my head.”

Jack sat back down on the chair he had occupied, and waited, watching as Janet donned on gloves, readied supplies, pointed a light directly in Sam’s private areas. 

“This is all highly unusual,” Janet said, seeing Jack’s unease at the procedure.

Sam shrugged and sighed loudly.  “He’s already seen it all, why the hell does it matter?  Just do the damn exam.”

Janet and Jack looked at each other, surprised at Sam’s attitude.  They’d never seen her this way, never seen her in this type of a situation.  Jack decided to take a chance.  As Janet began the exam and her head was hidden under the sheet, Jack reached for one of the hands that was laying across Sam’s chest.  He covered it and watched to see if she would flinch or disapprove.  When she didn’t, he covered her hand fully with his and brought it to the side of the bed, where he held it in between both of his.  He saw her eyes flutter closed, and her hand squeeze his.  He enjoyed the feel of her hands, thought of Thera, of her soft hands, the scattered forming callouses, the delicate skin of his lover.  At one point, Sam grunted and Janet apologized, said she was almost finished.

When Janet was done, she removed her gloves, patted Sam’s knees so she knew she could lower them, and watched as Sam extracted her hand from Jack’s hold.

Sam propped herself up on her elbows and looked at Janet.  “So?”

Janet took a deep breath.  “So… there is no sign of infection, blood clotting, or anything else abnormal.  The os looks good, the entrance of the womb, and for that reason I did not, um, palpitate the cervix.” Janet said.  “If you are in fact having a miscarriage, touching the cervix could make it worse, so I haven’t.  There is only slight bleeding, which can happen to women throughout pregnancy anyway.”

Sam’s face collapsed a bit while Janet was talking, and she licked her bottom lip.

“Sam, I’m sorry… but there may not be answers, at least not until I have your blood results.  For now, you have to lay down, preferably on your left side, and drink lots of water.  That’s all I can tell you.”

Sam lay back down, and immediately turned on her left side, so she was again facing Jack.  He was surprised at her quick and easy compliance to a medical order.  He began to realize that she was fearful of losing the child, fearful and uncertain as Thera had been, talking quietly about feelings, sighing softly under his weight.

Janet sighed.  “I’m going to see if the fetal heart monitor is almost here, okay?”  They had already done an ultrasound and determined the fetus still had a heartbeat, and a strong one.  Receiving no answer from either, she left.

As soon as the door was closed, Jack heard Sam say, “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“This,” she said vaguely.

“This isn’t your fault.”

“Feels like it is.  Feels like a woman ought to be able to keep a child healthy in her womb.”

He saw a tear streak down her face, fall on the hospital sheets.

“This isn’t how any of this is supposed to go down.”

“No, it isn’t,” Sam agreed with him.  “No, it isn’t,” she said again.

In her mind, Thera was supposed to live happily ever after with her mate, her love.  She was supposed to bear children, raise them, save her world from a terrible ice age, declare her love openly, be near him at every moment.  In his mind, Jonah and Thera’s love had no lines, no rules, no boundaries.  He was supposed to hold Thera close to him, always, never ending.  This isn’t how any of it was supposed to go down.


	9. Beneath the Cells - Part II

“To explain it simply, it’s an immune system problem, Sir, but I don’t know what’s causing it,” Janet explained.  “Honestly, Sam’s body chemistry has become so different after Jolinar that I have no other solution but to recommend that we contact the Tok’ra.  And I think we should do it now, Sir.”

“I already have, Dr. Fraiser,” General Hammond spoke up, looking tired and worried, “the representative I spoke to said Jacob would be contacted.  I have no idea if that’s the truth or not, and that was six hours ago.”

All the occupants of the room looked at each other and waited to see who would speak next.  Janet, of course, had more to say.

“Major Carter is well into a miscarriage, General.  Once these type of symptoms appear, there really isn’t a way to reverse it… not this early in a pregnancy,” Janet drew in more air.  “If I can be quite honest with you, Sir, at this point I’m mostly concerned with Sam’s own life.  Her blood pressure is all over the place, her white blood cells are down significantly, she’s beginning to run a temperature…”

“But what’s causing it? I don’t understand!” Jack spoke up, finally, showing his worry and frustration.  They were meeting in a room adjacent to Sam’s in the infirmary, since Janet didn’t want to take a chance and leave the area.  Sam had continued to bleed, albeit slowly, and continued to cramp, painfully.  She looked small and pale, the weakest Jack had ever seen her, and by far the saddest.

Janet took a deep breath and tried to remember that Jack was losing this child too.  “I’m sorry, Sir.  Miscarriages, although terrible for all involved, are common.  The cause of most cannot be predicted or explained.  As I described to Sam just now, Sir, the mother’s immune system receives small signals from the fetus very early on in pregnancy.  It’s a defense system, the same one that fights colds and viruses, and it alters itself so that the fetus is not rejected by her body and can continue to grow,” she paused to make sure he was still following.  “Her body’s immune system recognizes cell types and antigens and then produces either killer antibodies or blocking antibodies.  The killer ones are produced to remove harmful cells, but the blocking antibodies are protective,” Janet breathed out and looked at Jack.  “Is this making any sense to you?”

“No,” Jack said at first, and Janet looked defeated.  “A little,” he conceded.  “So Sam’s cells are recognizing something as bad that isn’t? Or recognizing something that is good as bad?”

“Exactly! At least that’s what I can conclude from her bloodwork.”

“So, fix it!” Jack said to her.

“Sir, I can’t.  I don’t know how—“

“UNAUTHORIZED, INCOMING WORMHOLE,” they heard Harriman’s voice over the PA system.

“God, let that be the Tok’ra,” Jack spoke, running his hand through his hair.

“I never thought I’d live to see the day when you’d say that, son,” Hammond commented.

Hammond and Jack made their way to the gateroom just as Jacob Carter was coming down the ramp that was attached to the gate. 

“Jake!” Jack said coming to a halt.

“I need to get to Major Carter immediately,” Jacob spoke, but it was Selmak’s voice.

“Right this way, Selmak,” General Hammond took over.  He wanted to ask the nature of his knowledge of her condition, but he didn’t want to speak about Sam’s pregnancy in the hallways of the SGC.  Selmak set a speedy pace, and Jack followed the Generals closely.  When they came into the infirmary, which Fraiser had kept fairly free of staff, Selmak found Dr. Fraiser waiting outside of a room and headed straight for her.  As he approached, she began talking, explaining her patient’s symptoms, but Selmak stopped her in her speech.

“Dr. Fraiser, I will speak with you after I have treated Major Carter,” Selmak spoke decisively, moving into the room the doctor was standing in front of.

“Dad!” Sam spoke in a surprised voice, seeing who had entered the room.

“Hello, Major Carter,” Selmak greeted Sam, and her eyebrows furrowed at the symbiote’s voice.   “I need you to please stay very still,” Selmak said to Sam, getting out a healing device from within Jacob’s robes and beginning to point it in the vicinity of Sam’s abdomen.  Sam’s eyes widened when she saw the device, realizing that Selmak was in the know of something, in the know of what might be wrong with her, in the know of how to heal her.  She watched and took deep breaths, and when she saw the light begin to glow she closed her eyes and prayed for healing.  Selmak concentrated, moved the wand further down on Sam’s abdomen and continued to let the healing device do its work.  Janet, General Hammond, and Jack watched from the other side, near the doorway.  Several minutes later, longer that Jack had ever remembered a Tok’ra using a healing device on anyone, the device’s light hummed off and Selmak lowered the thing, hiding it again in Jacob’s robes.  Sam opened her eyes, but her look was dazed, hazy.  When Selmak spoke again, it was Jacob’s familiar voice.

“Sam,” he said prepping another small needle-like device he had retrieved from his pouch.

“Dad,” Sam said, tearfully.

“Listen kiddo, I have to give you this,” he showed her, “on your neck.  It’ll hurt and you’ll pass out, but after that, everything should be okay.”

Sam nodded.  Looking up at the ceiling, she asked, “Will I lose the baby?”

Jacob swallowed and leaned down close to her head.  “You will not, as long as I live.”

Sam’s throat constricted and she choked out, “I’m sorry, Dad.”

“Everything’s okay, kiddo.  None of this is your fault,” he reached up and kissed her on the forehead, and then gently placed the needle tip on Sam’s jugular.  The medicine was dispensed, and with a hiss, Sam passed out, her face lulling to the side.

Jacob looked at the group standing by the door.  “She’ll be out for at least a day.  Keep her on a lot of fluids and no getting up for a few days,” Jacob said to Janet, who nodded and was already at Sam’s bedside, taking her pulse and blood pressure.

He walked with purpose towards Jack and General Hammond.  “Now, who wants to explain to me why the hell my daughter is pregnant?” Jacob yelled, all business.

Jack swallowed and General Hammond lifted his chin.

“Jacob, let’s go to my office,” Hammond said.

“What happened to her? The message said she became pregnant while on a mission.  Where was this?”  Jacob’s tone was commanding.  “I want to know what happened to my daughter!”

“Gentlemen!” Janet said, turning from her patient.  “I insist you finish this conversation elsewhere!”

Jacob’s head bowed and came back up.  “Certainly, Doctor Fraiser.  You must forgive Jacob.  He was most distressed to learn of his daughter’s condition.  She is, by far, the highest concern he has left from his former life here on earth.”

“Selmak,” Janet took the opportunity, luring the men away from the hard task of telling Jacob the truth about Sam’s pregnancy.  “I need to know what you gave Sam and anything you might know about what is going on in her body.”

Selmak nodded, and Jack looked relieved that he would have a few more minutes to compose his words to the man. “I have given her a serum devised by the Tok’ra.  I can write down its contents for you, Doctor Fraiser, so you will feel more confident of our measures.”

Janet narrowed her eyes, still unbelieving.  “Can you explain why this is necessary? Does this have to do with Jolinar?”

“Yes, Doctor Fraiser, you are correct. As you know, when a symbiote dies within a host, a protein marker is left behind, as well as the substances that comprise a symbiote’s own body… they are broken down and absorbed by the human body after the symbiote’s death.”

“Like the Naquadah,” Hammond spoke.

“Yes, precisely.  The Naquadah is by far the most significant foreign substance that is absorbed by the body, but unfortunately, the protein marker that was left by Jolinar is the cause of Samantha’s body’s rejection of the fetus.”

“Rejection?” Jack repeated, dejectedly.  Selmak looked pointedly at him, and Jack looked down, trying to steel his reaction to the situation.  It was best that Jacob not know of his paternity just yet.

“Yes, Colonel O’Neill,” Selmak answered and in a gesture entirely unusual for a Tok’ra, looked around the room until he found a chair.  Dragging it over to the group, he sat down and leaned fully onto the chair.  “I beg your pardon, but Jacob insisted I engage the healing device at full power and for a great deal of time, and the ordeal has tired us both.”

“Selmak, you should rest,” said Janet, while Jack and Hammond brought chairs over for the rest of the group, a nurse still standing by the machines keeping track of Sam’s vitals.  When she saw that the group would insist on meeting, Janet asked, “so, it is true that Sam was having a miscarriage?”

Selmak looked up, his features appearing worn.  “Yes, Doctor Fraiser.  As I was saying, the protein marker Jolinar left behind is undoubtedly what led to Samantha’s health crisis.  Humans depend largely on the body’s immune system for the maintenance of good health.  It uses marker proteins to distinguish friendly cells from foreign invaders.”

“Doc said the same!” Jack interjected, and Selmak nodded, realizing he would have to explain further.

“Proteins have different dimensional structures and have specific functions, depending on their molecules, amino acids, and sequence.  In Samantha’s blood, Jolinar left markers on proteins with several different functions as well, but the Tok’ra research believe the problem lies within the proteins that transmit signals that rule over biological processes between different cells, tissues, and organs.”

“Messenger Proteins,” Janet whispered, and Selmak nodded.  “Oh, my god! Human growth hormone! I can’t believe I didn’t make a connection!”

Jack and Hammond looked at Dr. Fraiser and back at Selmak, not understanding her moment of eureka.

“Hang on a minute,” Jack said, “the Tok’ra had time to do research on Sam’s pregnancy? How is that possible?”

“Dr. Fraiser is correct, and no, Colonel O’Neill, though that is an important piece of the conversation as well.  It is commonly known among the Tok’ra, that a former host carrying a protein marker will have a 70% likelihood of unsuccessful pregnancies,” Selmak paused and made eye contact with all the members of the group.  “Obviously, it has not happened much, as hosts are often past the age of childbearing when a symbiote dies within them, but it has happened often enough that the Tok’ra have researched the problem.”

There was a heavy silence in the room.

“Was she told?” Jack barked at Selmak, dripping anger.

“Samantha?”

“Yes,” he spat, “Was Samantha, Jacob’s daughter, told that she would likely never have kids?”

Selmak swallowed and sat up higher on his chair.  “No, she was not.”

“Why not?” Hammond asked now, perturbed himself.

“I do not have time or energy to get into that,” Selmak said, and Jack’s eyes lit up in rage.

“Jacob didn’t know either, huh?” Jack suggested and immediately saw the truth.  When Selmak didn’t meet his gaze, Jack added, “You slimy snakes really don’t share all your dirty laundry, do you? You rat bastards!”

“She will have children,” Selmak spoke in a deep, loud tone.  Then, lowering his voice, “she will have this child.  I promised her this even now, on my honor, on my love for her as my hosts’ daughter.”

Jack sighed and lowered his head, running a hand over his hair.  “Damn lying Tok’ra.”

“I think it’s time we talked to Jacob now, Selmak,” said Hammond diplomatically.

“As you wish,” Selmak said resigned, lowering his head.

“I know,” Jacob’s sudden voice filled the room, “I was livid when I found out, but Selmak left our post immediately, abandoning a mission, which she has never done, in order to bring the vile of serum in time,” he sighed.  “It’s not just that she might’ve had a miscarriage,” Jacob met their eyes and revealed, “Sam would’ve probably died with it.”

Janet’s shocked expression was more than Jacob could bear, and he lowered his head.

“What did you give her?” Janet whispered.

“The Tok’ra have developed a serum.  Sam’s body had too many proteins affected by Jolinar’s marker which were involved in growth hormone functions.  In pregnancy, these are increased, for obvious reasons, and the fetus’ body was rejecting these proteins, on a cellular level, causing the fetus to under develop, and eventually die.  Sam’s body was under severe distress, from her body’s confusion on this particular war on cells… it’s a bit more complicated than that, but for Jack’s sake that’s the most important bit.  Two or three more days and she would’ve been gone.”  The pregnant pause was overwhelming to all in the room, especially one. 

“The serum contains growth hormone proteins specifically engineered to be accepted by both Sam’s organism and her fetus.  She’ll require weekly administration of it at first, and then Selmak believes we should develop the serum further with her DNA and the father’s DNA, if such can be found, for administration during the later months when fetal growth is extraordinary.  Her body simply will not accept the hormones that are marked with Jolinar’s proteins… not for this end.  The serum contains blocking antigens for those cells.”

There was a long silence, and soft breathing could be heard coming from Sam’s bed.

“Wow,” Jack said.  “That’s a lot to take in.”

“I healed the fetus.  It will live,” Jacob said.

“But it will be under developed?”  asked Janet.

Jacob shook his head.  “No.  The healing device did its work, it reversed any damage and actually caught the baby up on some of its growth.  Selmak believed it was small for 3 months, and I made her keep using the healing device longer than she wanted to.  The baby will be fine.”

“It was 2 months gestation, Jacob,” Janet corrected him.

“Three.  Like I said, it was too small before.  It will grow now and catch up.  I’ll try my best to visit frequently and help in any way I can.”

Janet was disbelieving.  “How can you tell what the gestational age should be with the healing device?”

“I can tell a lot, well… Selmak is better at it, she’s had thousands of years of practice.”  Jacob stood and made his way to his daughter’s bedside.  “Does that change anything? Does that mean she conceived before this mission… the one where she was held captive somewhere for a long time?”

Hammond looked decisively to Janet, who approached her chart and opened it to the right page.  “No, Sirs, an earlier date would still coincide with the mission in question.”

“SG-1 was MIA on an ice planet for 12 and a half weeks, Jacob,” Hammond supplied.  “I think it’s time we go to my office now and discuss this further.  I’ll tell you everything I know.”

Jacob nodded, leaning down to kiss his daughter’s face once more.  “Yeah, I think that would be good.” He turned and headed out the door, following Hammond’s lead.  At the door, Jacob stopped.  “You coming, Jack?”

Hammond stepped in immediately, yet not showing outward alarm.  “Let’s let Jack keep Major Carter company for now, Jacob.  He can fill you in on his mission report after you rest.”

Jacob nodded his agreement.  “Thanks, Jack.”

“No problem, Jake,” Jack answered, wondering if that was the last time he’d have Jacob speak to him in a friendly tone ever again.


	10. Beneath the Radar

Daniel approached the room.  It was late in the day, way later than any of them should still be at the mountain.  He’d heard something of what had happened, but Janet was giving away very little information, and while he had been told to respect their privacy, this was SG1; there wasn’t any way they could avoid him forever.  Daniel noticed Janet was looking exhausted and a bit pissed; he couldn’t even imagine how pissed Jack might be, or maybe he could.  The door to Sam’s room was ajar, and he pushed it open.  Seeing the curtain by the door was drawn, he whispered:

“Jack?”

He heard the man clear his throat and heard also the shuffling of sheets.  “Yeah, come in.”

When Daniel crossed the curtained area, he saw Jack readjusting Sam’s blanket above her hand and he knew he had been holding it. “How’s she doing?” Daniel asked.

Jack returned his hands to his own lap.  “Doc says her body is slowly returning to normal.  Selmak used the healing device, gave her an anti-Jolinar shot, knocked her out for a few days…”

“Wow,” Daniel said, for once being slow to speak.  Jack had told them about the pregnancy early on Tuesday, informing Teal’c he would be joining SG-11 on a meet and greet on some kind of planet.  The pair had been stoic at first, but then came the questions.  Daniel had known Sam and Jack had been close on the ice planet, he just hadn’t realized how close. _“Very close”_ is all Jack had revealed amid Daniel’s multitude of questions.  Jack left them, curious and bewildered, letting them know only that he would give them more information about the future of the team as soon as he himself knew of it.

That had only been a few days ago.  Teal’c was now off on some planet with SG-11, and Daniel stood staring down at Sam’s resting form, his heart in his throat.

“I’m sorry this happened to her,” he told Jack.  He found a chair near the wall and dragged it over near the bed.  “I didn’t know things could get so ugly so quickly.”

“She’s gonna be okay,” Jack answered him with a nod, finding Daniel’s tone both too melancholy and too annoying.  “The kid’s gonna be okay.”

Daniel drew closer to Sam and ran a tender hand through her hair.  “Whatever you guys need…anything at all,” he said turning his head to Jack.  “I’m here.”

“Thanks, Space Monkey.”

The two stayed silently in the room for several hours, keeping vigil over Sam.

sSsSsSsSsSs

Jacob walked slowly down the hallways of the SGC, his head low, his hands stuffed in his BDU pockets.  Selmak didn’t care for the human outfit, but Jacob was loath to be considerate at the moment.  It was early, nearly 0500, but he’d woken and couldn’t sleep anymore, didn’t want to try.  After Hammond had walked him through the events of SG1’s mission on the ice planet, explained everything he knew, Jacob was angry, exhausted.  He was angry at Selmak, at the whole of the Tok’ra, at the entire situation.  He was enraged that his own symbiote had kept important information from him, information about the health of his very daughter.  He was angry at Jack, angry at Sam, angry at the population of P3X-118, angry at Selmak.  Yet, even in his livid state, Jacob was also experiencing an enormous wave of relief.  He had initially believed Sam had been raped, held hostage and abused, taken advantage of.  He didn’t like the idea of her being pregnant by her commanding officer, but he recognized the blessing in disguise, the redemption of a situation that could have been much, much worse.  The conflicting emotions he felt were overwhelming.  He’d chosen to seek rest last night instead of confronting Jack, knowing his body was exhausted from using the healing device, knowing his mind was beyond compromised with feelings from the almost death of his daughter, the victimization from her unwilling hosting of Jolinar, the revenge he wanted to seek for her rights.  He stopped as he approached her room, tilting forward to look through the small square window of the infirmary door.  She was sleeping, just as he’d left her, and Jack was sitting on a chair near the foot of her bed, a cup of coffee in his hands.  He came through the door and Jack shifted to look at him.  Jacob didn’t meet his eyes, shuffling instead towards another chair and dragging it over closer to Jack.  He sat down, watched Jack sip his coffee.

“So… you and Sam,” Jacob started.

Jack kept looking down at the floor.  “I’m sorry, Jacob.”

Jacob nodded.  There were long moments of silence, and the beeping of Sam’s medical equipment filled the room.  “Is it true?”

“What?”

“What you told Hammond? Everything? There’s nothing else you two haven’t kept to yourselves?”

Jack exhaled.  “Everything in the mission reports is true.  Everything we told Hammond we omitted is true. There may have been details we have still not voiced, only to protect Sam further, but even that I think she may have told him in private… I’m not sure.”

“I don’t want the details,” Jacob was quick to say.

“Didn’t think you would.”

“I want to know if…” Jacob pursed his lips and composed his question, “was it happening before?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No,” Jack confirmed firmly.

“But then it did… as soon as you got to the planet.” Jacob was trying to piece the situation in his head.

Jack swallowed.  “Hum… no.  It was confusing, our memories were spotty, they had given us new personas.  I didn’t remember Sam… Thera, from my past in the mines, but I remembered her, somehow.  Soon after… we sort’a… connected, spent time together, I’m not sure how to describe it, Jake.  The rest went from there.  Your daughter was as unaware of our identities and ranks,” Jack paused to watch Jacob’s reaction.  “She may have slept with some guy on a planet, but she had an awareness that we had a previous connection, somehow.  We talked, a lot, and nothing happened until we were certain about each other’s… feelings.  Even after that it took some time.”

Jacob looked at the officer next to him, his eyes narrowing.  “Are you telling me that Jack O’Neill, without memory of his rank and hers, used restraint?”

Jack pursed his lips and looked at the figure of Sam on the bed.  He slowly nodded.  “I’ve had a lot of practice with restraint when it comes to Sam.”

Jacob drew a large breath of air.  “I know you love her.”

“Jacob…” Jack answered in a warning tone, not wanting to venture there.

“I know,” Jacob announced firmly, meaning it.

Jack shrugged.  “Yeah, okay.”

“Anise was only too happy to share with me about the Za’tarc testing,” Jacob explained.

“Damned Tok’ra.”

“And I had my suspicions before, anyway.”

Jack hummed.  “Because of the way we acted?  I thought we were safe… beneath the radar, even.”

Jacob shrugged.  “I’ve seen that look on my daughter before… the way she looks at you, follows you—”

“She’s supposed to follow my orders!”

“That’s not how I mean it.  She trusts you in a way that is different, in a way that is deeper.” Jacob pinched his two fingers in between the bridge of his nose.  “Her mother used to look at me that way.”

“Jeez, Jacob!”  Jack said, unbelieving, unsure of what to say to the older man.

“Okay,” Jacob repeated, calmly, wanting to move on.  “Are you going to do this the right way?”

“And what’s the right way?”

“Marriage,” Jacob said, matter of fact.

“Um.”

“Jack.”

“Jacob, your daughter will kick my ass all the way to Netu if I make plans for her life without her participation.”

“I’m not talking about plans.”

“Yes, you are,” Jack answered, sounding annoyed at the older man.

A beat.  “Okay.  Yes, I am.  And you’re right, she’d kick your ass all the way to Netu.”

“Yeah.”

“So?”

“So what, Jacob?” Jack met Jacob’s eyes.

Jacob looked straight back at him.  “You still should marry her.  A child born to an unmarried commissioned officer will not help either of you in your careers.  I don’t recommend it for your personal lives either… especially when you both love each other anyway and could probably do a decent job raising a family.”

Jack looked down at the floor, his hands clasped between his legs and his upper body leaning forward.  “I know things have changed in the world, and you could both go your own separate ways and she could be a single parent, yada yada, but you’d be making a huge mistake.”  Jacob added, seeing a visible tension in Jack’s neck, shoulders, and arms.  He stopped talking and let Jack think, respond.

After a while, Jack confessed, “I would give anything in me to marry her.”

“Then do!” Jacob exclaimed, his body the complete opposite of Jack’s, leaning back on his chair, hands resting on his chin.

“It’s not that simple, Jake, come on!”

“Why?”

“We lied.”

“You didn’t lie.”

“We lied.”

“Omission isn’t always a lie.”

Jack made a reticent sound.  “Tell me, Jacob.  Does it feel like Selmak’s little _oversight_ about Sam’s protein markers was just an omission? Or do you agree with me that the Tok’ra is a damn liar.”

Jacob’s nostrils flared.

“Ahh… I’m sorry, Jacob.  I’m out of line.”

“No, you’re not,” Jacob said, using a careful and controlled tone, his body tense.  “I really don’t want to talk about Selmak right now.”

“She leaving you alone?”

“Mostly.”

“Good.”

“The two of you were under the influence,” he spoke trying to regain his train of thought, “and I’m sure your omission was to protect Sam and the team, am I right?”

“You’re right.  And I hope they see it that way.  Did George tell you anything?  About what will happen?” Jack asked.

“You’ll be split,” Jacob revealed.  “I don’t know about what else.  I’ll be damned if they demote my daughter.”

“I’ll be damned if they demote your daughter too.”

They were silent a long time.

“You have to know I would do anything for her,” Jack whispered.

“I know that.”

“Mmm.”

Jacob noticed that Jack was trying to say more, but couldn’t find the right words.  “What else should I know?”

Jack looked with yearning towards Sam on the bed.  “This kid wasn’t a mistake,” he finally got out.

“What?” Jacob, asked, confused.

“You know what I mean.”

Jacob coughed.  “I don’t think I want to know what you mean.”

Jack looked at him and narrowed his eyes.  “Gah!  No, not that.  I mean… It wasn’t… it was…” Jack gathered his hands to his head and exhaled.  “As imperfect as this situation is… this child was made by two people who cared about each other.”

Jacob realized it had taken a lot for Jack to say that to him. 

“Promise me you’ll take care of her,” Jacob said.

“Promise me you’ll kick Selmak’s ass if she’s even a minute late bringing more serum,” Jack spoke back, a seriousness in his tone.

Jacob grunted.  “She’s lucky I’m letting her stay in my body.”

“I can imagine.”

“Things will be okay, Jack,” Jacob said.

“Yeah,” he answered, “I hope so too.”

sSsSsSsSsSs

The first time she woke, Jack was sitting by her side, holding her hand.  After looking around and licking her lips, she said one word: “Watermelon.”

“What?” he asked.  “Did you say watermelon?”

She looked hazy and sleepy, but still she looked at him, met his eyes and nodded.  “Watermelon,” she repeated.

“I think you’re still in lala-land, Carter,” Jack said with a tilt of his head, examining her.

Half a lip quirked up and she tried to clear her throat.  “Nope.”

Jack continued to just stare at her.

“I want watermelon,” she said, her voice weak.

“Watermelon,” he parroted, unbelieving.  The woman had just spent 2 days sleeping, recovering, overgrowing an under-grown human, and she awoke to the desire for watermelon, one of the least appealing of foods, in Jack’s opinion.  Of course, there wasn’t any on the mountain, he’d checked everywhere, and then sent an airman out for one.  It was the middle of summer and the kid had returned with a huge watermelon in record time.  While they waited, Jack answered her first question, about the status of her pregnancy, of the health of her baby.  He explained some of what Selmak had told him, but wasn’t sure Sam was completely awake yet, sure he’d have to repeat it again later on.  When it was ready, Jack brought the watermelon to her himself, cut up, and fed her a tiny slice, while she’d still been lying down in bed.  Sam took the first slice in her mouth and hummed softly, sucking all the juice first and then chewing, slowly.  He kept feeding her, until she’d had the whole plate and asked for more.  Janet had checked in on her and told Sam she should start craving foods with more calories than watermelon. 

“Like pizza,” Jack said, waggling his eyebrows.

She smiled.  “Pizza does sound good... later.”  She had watched him, feeding her, watching her; had noticed the way he looked like he hadn’t slept in days, how he’d lost some years in the days she’d been unconscious.

“So,” she said after Janet had left, “Dad didn’t kill you?”

“Nah, he’s a teddy bear… loves me!”

“Hum… so Selmak took over, huh?” she suggested, sitting up a bit, readjusting her pillows.

Jack chucked.  “No, actually, I’m kind’a all sorts of ticked off at Selmak right now.”

“Oh?”

“Yes.”

“What did Selmak do?”

Jack pursed his lips and looked away.  “It’s more of what Selmak didn’t do.”

Sam raised her eyebrows.  “What do you mean?”

Jack let the silence fill his mind for a moment.  Blowing out his breath, he said, “Selmak knew… had known… that if you ever got pregnant, this little problem would happen,” he said, pointing his finger at her midsection.

The silence was palpable.  “What?” Sam finally got out, her mouth felt like cotton.

“Yeah, exactly.”

Sam met his eyes and narrowed her brows.

“Your dad wasn’t happy.  He said he and Selmak weren’t really speaking right now.”

“Must be kind‘a hard when they share a body,” Sam said in lieu of anything else.

“Mmm,” Jack nodded, tilting his body back on the chair and making it tilt on its axis.  “She left a mission, while undercover, to make sure you got the serum in time.  Dad said Selmak’s never done that… not in two thousand years.”

Sam grunted.  “I guess that’s a pretty good apology.”

“My ass!” Jack commented sharply.

“Your ass?”

“It’s not good enough for me,” he told her, furious at the Tok’ra all over again.

“Your ass is pretty good enough for me.”

Jack looked up sharply and let go of his body weight, and the chair made a loud sound when it landed on the floor.  When Sam realized what had just come out of her mouth, her face turned red, her eyes bulging. 

“Did I just…”

Jack smiled.  “You’re still on the happy stuff, I won’t count it against you.”

She covered her eyes with her hand for a moment.  “Thanks,” she whispered, moving her hand away and blowing out a long breath of air.  “How did he heal the baby?”

“The healing device.  You don’t remember?”

She tilted her head and searched her memory.  “Vaguely.  And the serum? It’s what Dad gave me?”

“Yes.”

“What did it do? What was the problem?”

“Jolinar.”

“Mmm,” she nodded, confirming her suspicions.  “The Naquadah?”

“Protein marker,” he corrected her.

“Really?”

Jack sighed and remembered he had just explained this to her, while they waited for her watermelon.  “You’ll have to ask Janet, but what I understood is that the human growth hormone needed for the pregnancy to… continue… were proteins laden with Jolinar’s markers… which were being rejected by the fetus, and by you… I think? I don’t know.  The baby was under-developing and was going to die.”

“Wow,” Sam sat back against the pillows again.

“There’s more,” he said, softly.

She looked at him.  “Worse than a miscarriage?”

“Yes,” he said, looking down.

“What?”

There was a long moment where Jack didn’t answer, couldn’t answer, couldn’t get the words out.  “You were going to die,” he finally said.

They looked at each other long and hard.  “What?” she whispered.

Jack swallowed.  “Selmak said your immune system would’ve shut down from the cells warring and…”

“And the serum?”

“Has anti-Jolinar Protein cells, like the growth hormone.  You’ll need a new injection every week for a while.”

Her face was pure horror.  “Oh, my god.  Will it always render me useless for days?”

“I really don’t know.”

“Oh, god,” she ran her IV laden hand down her face and grimaced, when the tube caught on the IV pole.

“Selmak thinks the Tok’ra will then develop a serum with your DNA and my DNA for the last stretch of the pregnancy.

She was silent for a while.

“And the baby will be healthy?”

“Yes.”

“Will it be…”

“It should be perfect…. so promises Dad.”

Another long silence as some realization dawned.

“This will be the only one,” she spoke.

“What?”

“The only one I can have.  Will it?”

Jack liked his lips.  “That wasn’t discussed.  We can make sure and have enough of the serum here if you want more… in the future.  Janet’s trying to figure out exactly what was in it…”

She shook her head.  “To be forever dependent on the Tok’ra.”

He watched her silently, the wheels spinning in her head.

“I hate the Tok’ra,” she announced, and he saw her point.  “What if the Tok’ra all died?”

He wasn’t completely sure what she meant, but he imagined she wondered what her fate would’ve been had Selmak not arrived bearing news and a remedy.

“Jack?” she broke his thoughts. 

“Yes?”  Jack waited, expecting what, he did not know, but what she said was nowhere near his bank of possible questions:

“Can you get me a pizza, now?”

He grinned.  “Yes,” he said, gladder than ever for her smile.  “Yes, Ma’am, I can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are still reading, thank you for your patience waiting for updates! Trying to make it enjoyable, shippy, believable, etc... xoxo
> 
> Thank you, Sam-Jack Always, my beta! You're the best!


	11. Above the Clouds

**_Allusions to Season 4, Episode 12, “Tangent”_ **

**_Author’s Note:  This chapter is for grown-ups.  If it offends you, close your eyes._ **

A week had passed without word from Hammond about what consequences Sam and Jack might have to face.  Sam returned to the SGC the following Monday, feeling recovered and well, and Hammond had assigned her straight to the labs, reminding her that until further notice, she was under his direct command and not that of Colonel O’Neill’s.  SG-1 was still divided up doing several different base duties, and General Vidrine was due from the Capitol to witness the first test flight for the X-301 Interceptor, Earth’s first attempt at developing a stellar fleet to defend the planet.

The test flight had been a horrendous disaster, and Jack, along with Teal’c, had almost died.  The Earthen made ship was a combination of two death gliders and some very optimistic human technology that had failed miserably at discovering Apophis’ recall device.  It redirected the ship during the aerial combat test, and plotted the ship’s new destination for Chu’lak, a trip that would take way longer than the pair had life support to endure.  Sam had come up with a plan to have the glider slingshot around Jupiter, but without enough thrust, there was no joy on the burn.  To add insult to injury, one of the missiles disengaged and hit the glider head on, causing further damage and forcing Jack and Teal’c to reduce life support to freezing temperatures and extremely low levels of oxygen. 

In the end, it’s the pesky Tok’ra who end up saving their asses, arriving minutes before life support goes critical, ejecting Jack and Teal’c from the death glider and onto Jacob Carter’s ha’tak vessel.  Sam sat in the Mission Control Center, which had been set up in the SGC’s Control room, when she heard Jacob’s words resound though her communication piece, “We have them; they are alive!” 

Her father’s words resounded as she held back tears and placed a hand over her still flat abdomen.  With her voice still filled with emotion, she said into her earpiece, “We copy, Dad.  Bring them home.  Carter out.”  All around her the control room erupted in joy at the news that the pair of heroes was alive.

It took 48 hours after their arrival back to Earth for Jack to be allowed to leave the infirmary.  Janet had insisted on giving him a full 24 hours on fluids and oxygen, then a full day of observation and bed, forcing him to rest.  Sam had sat with him during the first 8 hours, when he was partially sedated to force him to rest.  She had held his hand, stroked his face, been grateful for his life.  Janet had finally forced her home, reminding her that in two days she would be receiving her next serum injection and would be out of commission.  Sam agreed and left to take care of things in her lab and at home, things that might get neglected if her treatment rendered her unconscious yet again.  It would be another two days until she saw Jack again.

sSsSsSsSs

O

sSsSsSsSs

It’s only 2130 when Jack knocks on her front door, but when she opens it, her pajamas are already on.  She doesn’t look at all shocked that he’s there, at her house, and he thinks that maybe she was expecting him, but he still notices the burnt orange tank top that she’s wearing with her pale blue pajama bottoms and thinks they are indicative of much more than just the fact they may have been the item on the top of the shirt pile.  They stare at each other, hungrily, desperately.  Her head tilts minutely to the side and she gathers more air into her lungs, much like the way she did when she was separated from him by a force shield.

He moves first, stepping right up to her.  She takes one, two steps back into her house to make room for him.  When he’s past the threshold, he uses his arm behind his back to close her door, feeling with his hands until he finds the deadbolt, turns it for safety.  When his hands return to his sides, she’s still directly in front of him.  He can tell her heart is in her throat, there is moisture in her eyes and she has to break her eye lock with him to get the words out.

“I thought you were dead,” she chokes out, tears spilling down her cheeks.

She’s seen him, knows he was rescued before anyone else did, but the revelation of her worst thoughts is enough to spring him into action, and he lunges forward, gathers her in his arms, hugging her tightly and burying his head in the crook of her neck.  She responds immediately, clutching at him, not a slither of light between their two bodies.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” she gets out against his neck, her nails digging into his shoulder painfully.  “I thought they were going to bring back a body… I thought you were both gone.”

He can tell it’s important for her to say these things, to offer him her worst fears during his absence, but it’s the last bit she confesses that causes the bubble in his chest to inflate and his blood to turn electric:

“I thought I had lost you forever, Jack.”

He pulls back gently, looking tenderly at her, seeing the fear and anxiety still painted in her expression.  He wipes the tears that are rolling down her beautiful face, caresses her cheeks.  When her eyes meet his, he communicates with her, without words, asking for permission.  She answers by crashing against him, her lips hot on his, her hand on his neck dragging him closer.  Jack immediately responds, tilting his head and capturing her whole mouth, searing the lock with small movements of his head.  Their mouths both open at once, her nose tickling his, her hands moving to support herself on his shoulders as he moves quickly to pick her up and push her gently against the closed front door of her house, her legs lifting to straddle and sit on his hips.  He holds her there and kisses her, wet, open-mouthed kisses that are loud against her quiet house.  She moans at the feel of his tongue and teeth and the taste of his lips and skin; her blood is on fire, her lungs working overtime to keep up with her beating heart.

His kisses get deeper, more desperate, his hands bolder, his hips rocking against hers, his hard parts pressing against her soft ones.  She exhales loudly, panting, living in the moment; his mouth pops loudly against her neck and he draws his face away from her long enough to look at her, to communicate again.  They’ve been back as Jack and Sam for quite a while, but they’ve never done _this_ as Jack and Sam, never as O’Neill and Carter.  He searches her eyes for signs of how to proceed, and finds them dark and hazy with arousal.  She answers by nuzzling his face with her nose, by kissing her way down his jaw to his neck, by placing her right hand on his belt buckle.  In a low, affected voice, she whispers hoarsely, “I think it would be nice to finally do it on a bed, don’t you?”

He growls, swallows in response and makes sure she is securely seated on his hips before walking through her darkened house towards her bedroom.  Her lamp is on, and her bed rumpled, like she had already been in it when he arrived.  There, he lowers her to the floor, kissing her, and in unison they undress each other until they are both almost naked, together, near her bed.  He never stops kissing her, touching her, moving around her.  She moans, breaths heavily around him, sighs and grunts openly before him.  Jack’s eyes darken at the sight of her bare breasts, amazed at their new size, aroused more than he had ever been at the sight of Thera.  He is almost rendered unconscious when he removes her underwear and sees her _there_ , in that place, completely shaven, clean, not a hair in sight.  He curses loudly and runs his hands over his head and down the back of his neck.  She ducks her head while he comes back near her, brings her body close to his, and she whispers something about personal preference and her gratitude for having razors again.  Jack runs his tongue over her body and thanks his lucky stars that this woman is in his life, that she gets him, gets _this_ , and is enjoying it as much as he is.  Human sexuality is as part of him as the next man, and he had begun to experience the satisfaction of sexual gratification again on the ice planet, had forgotten how complete his whole body could feel after the act, especially with another human, another whom he was in love with.

Sam licks her lips and forgets to breathe at the sight of him too, and she lies back in her bed, pulling his body over hers, her thighs wet with her readiness, her mind fuzzy with passion.  When their bodies meet, when he slowly aligns himself within her, she raises her legs around his hips as he pushes even deeper and they moan in pleasure and relief, both of them, together.   He is frozen for a moment, shocked by what is happening, overcome by her warmth and the emotions within himself as he feels her hug his upper body tightly.  “God, I missed this so much,” she says to him breathlessly.

That springs him into action, and together they move again.  The room is filled with their sounds, moans and wet friction and a squeaky bed that definitely needs oiling.  At last he freezes, burying his face in the crook of her neck and exhaling lowly while she strokes his back.  After a moment, he moves off of her and slides next to her, a move Sam is familiar with as well, misses it, loves it.  She knows what Jonah’s hands are capable of and she misses becoming putty in his hands.  He strokes her for a long while, takes his time, prolonging her pleasure.  He watches her, looks _there_.  She’s not shy and her legs are spread before him, her sex shaven and clean, her folds glistening and swollen, beautiful.  His fingers slide with ease as he memorizes the way she looks, responds to each stroke of his fingers, each change in pace, until her hips move into his hands and she finishes, a strangled “Jonah!” escaping from her parted lips.

sSsSsSsSs

O

sSsSsSsSs

Sam had curled into Jack’s side after her climax, returning down from the clouds, realizing that while the name she cried out wasn’t exactly wrong, it hadn’t been exactly right either.  It _had_ been Jonah making love to her; she remembered everything, his body, his scent, the taste of his mouth, even the way he brought her pleasure, the way he moved inside of her.

“You’re overthinking, Sam,” Jack spoke in the quiet room, his arms gathering her close, stroking her bare arms.

“Hmph,” she made a sound, but continued burrowing into his chest.  “I just called you Jonah during sex, Jack.”

Jack was silent for a moment, seeing if she was going to elaborate, if she had more to say.  “I am Jonah, Sam,” he said, moving to look at her. 

She met his eyes and blinked.  “Things are getting a bit confusing in my head.”

“Welcome to my world!”

She rolled her eyes, moved from him and sat up, “It’s not funny.  I still dream about him all the time…”

“About Jonah?  And the planet?”

She exhaled and turned towards him.  “Yeah.”

“I do too.”

She half smiled and ran a hand over one of his nipples, just because she could.  “I had to sit there and wait while other people went off to save you,” he sat up with her.  “I had no idea if they would succeed,” she looked into his eyes, the struggle still within her.  “The worst thought I had was that I would have to raise this baby all by myself,” she bowed her head and a disgusted laugh escaped her.  “Terribly selfish, I know.”

Jack swallowed. 

“Then I thought about you guys drifting out there, cold and suffocating to death…” she put a hand to her face.

“I know how you felt,” Jack said.

“You can’t know.”

“I know,” he said again, “I felt the same way when you were lying in the infirmary over a week ago.  I’ve seen Doc Fraiser in moments of panic before and I knew… could tell she had no idea what to do or how to heal you.”  Sam tilted her head and scooted closer to him, her hand going into his hair.  “I knew things were bad when I saw her silently switch from saving the pregnancy to trying to save you.  We all thought the worse, Sam.  I thought I was going to lose you, I thought I had already lost the baby.” He ran the back of his hand on her pale stomach; It wasn’t distended yet, just softer than before.  Thera had been all muscle, but it looked like Sam was trying to put on the weight Fraiser had insisted she needed.

“I’m tired, Jack,” Sam said, resting her head on his chest.

“You need to rest,” he said and moved to stroke her hair.

“No, I mean I’m tired of all of this… I feel like I haven’t caught my breath since 118, having to hide this, having to hide my feelings for you, for Jonah,” she pulled her head back up and waved around the room, “finding out I’m pregnant, telling people, waiting around for me to die, for you to die, for us to get reprimanded, dismissed, or whatever the hell they’re going to do with us!  I’m tired!”

“Shhh,” he gathered her up in his arms and rubbed circles on her back with his hands.  “It’s okay, Sam.  It’s going to be okay,” he kept repeating.  When she relaxed against him, he rocked his body back and they fell against the soft bed.  He pulled her covers over their bodies and she moved to snuggle in against him. 

“Are you going to stay around?” she asked hesitantly, her face near his chest.

He waited a moment, stroked her skin.  “If it’s okay with you, I think it’s about time we team up.”

A beat.  “Jack, what the hell does that mean?” Sam asked.  Maybe he was still oxygen deprived.

“I’ve been in love with you longer than Jonah could even imagine,” Jack said quickly, before he lost the courage.

She brought her head off his chest and looked into his eyes.  Of all the explanations for his suggestion of “teaming up,” this declaration was not one Sam had thought would escape him.  Her lips were parted, and they were communicating again, silently.  She moved up his body and kissed his mouth, firmly, her own love reflected in the kiss.  He moved them so that she was beneath him, and kissed her back, passion flaring again.

**A/N: This chapter has not seen my beta yet, because I’m currently being disorganized and random, and the Muse a bit shifty.  The changes in tense were intentional; the love scene meant to bring you into the present, be experienced in the present.  Feel free to give me feedback, and I hope you are enjoying the story :)**


	12. Above Him

Jack woke up with Sam’s nails caressing his morning condition, her other hand busy cupping him fully.  He shook his head to clear his dream, but the image that remained, the reality, was Samantha Carter, tousled and sleepy, grasping him tightly.  She was admiring him when she noticed his head lifted, him watching her.  She climbed up his body and straddled him, her hand guiding him in, as if she had made the same move a million times before.  When she was completely seated, she paused and found his eyes.

“Good morning,” she said hoarsely, sleep everywhere in her voice and disheveled hair.

Jack smiled lazily.  “Yes, it is.”

She smirked, lowered her body enough to give him a peck on his mouth, then straightened, firming her hands on his chest as he rested his own on her hips.  Slowly, she started to move.

sSsSsSs

They showered together, not to conserve water but to talk.  They couldn’t seem to want to stop, especially now that the sexual tension was under control and their feelings aired out.  Jack told Sam about floating aimlessly in space, about thinking he would see Charlie again, that he would die.  He confessed he felt pained that they hadn’t resolved their situation, that he would be leaving her behind, that he never had the chance to feel her lips on his again.  He told her how he’d been practically sleepless since finding out about the pregnancy, terrified he wouldn’t have the chance to be a part of his kid’s life, of seeing him or her every day.  Sam told him what it was like at the SGC, the reality of having to stay behind not just this time, but every other time from now on.  She talked about how the worse part of the pregnancy had been anticipating people’s disappointment in however they misjudged the situation and in turn judged her for being loose, being stupid, being caught with a love child from her superior officer.  Jack told her he didn’t even know what a love child was.

 When the water ran cold, they got out, and Jack sat on Sam’s bed and watched her dress, just because he could.  She had already donned her underwear and pants, and was putting on her bra, her back to him.  As she turned to face him, he whistled, loudly.

“You need a new bra, Sam.”

“I know,” she looked down at herself, spilling over the cups of her pre-pregnancy bra.  “I need new everything.  My pants barely zip up anymore.”

Jack shrugged.  “You look absolutely gorgeous…will look sexier as the weeks pass.  I just can’t imagine you being comfortable in that – he pointed at her constricted breasts – you’re spilling out of every side, not that I’m complaining about the new size.”

She chuckled.  “I know, they’re huge… and they hurt,” she added her shirt.  “And the book says they’ll get even bigger.”

He stood and walked over, helping her button her shirt.

“Sam?”

“Hmm?” She turned and picked up some earrings from the dresser, started putting one on.

“This is the best morning I’ve had in probably five years,” Jack revealed, emboldened by their long conversation in the shower.  A lot had happened in five years, and a lot would happen in the next five as well.

She stopped, turned, walked into his space and threaded her fingers into his hair.

“I didn’t mean to be sappy,” he apologized, his hands resting on her hips, drawing her closer.  His look became uncertain, his confidence gone.

“Hey,” she stopped his apology, cupped his head from both sides.  “New team, remember?  Together.”  She kissed him.

“Together,” he repeated, believing her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter to whet your appetite. I’ll be returning to a more regular posting schedule now, and it’s been so long since an update that I realize folks may need to reread a few chapters just to remember the plot. There will be 20 chapters total, at least. 
> 
> Thank you so much for your patience. And thank you Mon, for the beta, xoxo


	13. Above Reproach

They drove together to the base; today’s schedule was simple: getting Sam to the infirmary where she would receive her next Tok’ra serum injection.  She wasn’t thrilled, and Jack thought she was a little frightened, but the pleasant hum of her body dulled the anxiety significantly, the peace of the remedied connection between her and Jack was healing emotionally and physically.  When they signed into the base on the second level, the ensign informed them they were required in the General’s office before Major Carter’s appointment in the infirmary.  Sam looked at Jack, but he remained cool, controlled.  In the elevator, they were alone, and Sam bit her lower lip in her usual nervous tick.

“What do you think that’s about?”

“I don’t know, Carter,” he answered, not looking at her, scratching the hair at the top of his head.  “Could be another Goa’uld invasion for all we know.” She was familiar with his edgy look, so she didn’t push him further.  As they approached level 28 though, he turned and looked her straight in the eye.

“Maybe he heard back from the brass,” he suggested.

She nodded.  It was on her mind daily.

“Whatever happens, whatever he says…” Jack tried.

“Let’s just wait to see what he’ll say.  Dad said they might not do anything but separate us.”

The elevator dinged and the doors opened.  Jack sighed.  “Just don’t forget… me, you, the baby,” he looked around and whispered, “new team.”

“New team,” she whispered and nodded.

sSsSsSs

They knocked on the General’s office door and were quickly seated, while the General finished a call with the President himself.  His office was tidy, the pictures hanging pristinely on his wall.

“Thank you for coming,” Hammond started once he returned his red phone to its cradle.  “Major Carter, I know you are about to receive another medical treatment and might be, ah, unconscious again, so I wanted to speak with you both before that happened.”

“It’s no problem, Sir,” Sam answered, nervously.

“Yes, well… however harmless these periods of unawareness may be, according to Selmak, I don’t like them one bit.”

“I couldn’t agree more, General,” Jack added.

Hammond nodded and moved some papers around on his desk, flicked a few pens off his writing area.  “I have finally received confirmation from my superiors about what is to happen to SG-1.  I have to tell you it wasn’t easy, we went back and forth quite a bit with their suggestions until I was finally told that you two were _my officers_ and that I should have the final say in the matter.”

The room was quiet and seemed cold. 

“Annd?” Jack sang, curiosity killing him.

“And…” George narrowed his eyes and intensified his focus, “I’m sorry to say that a few suggested demotions, while others wanted nothing at all done.  This decision was my idea and the weight of it is on my shoulders alone.  Major Carter will be removed from SG-1 effective immediately.”

Jack cursed and Sam swallowed, but tried her best to look composed, her eyes steady on the General. 

Hammond continued, “Colonel, you will have a letter of reprimand placed on your file.  It will state that you omitted important information on a mission report to protect the reputation of a subordinate officer.  It will also state that through no fault of your own, you became prisoners of war with a subordinate officer during a mission, and that having severe amnesia, entered into a consensual relationship with your subordinate.  The reprimand will not state Major Carter’s name or that she became pregnant.  The pregnancy will not be mentioned at all.  All of my superiors agreed that the pregnancy would not be named in any of this.  I’m sorry to say, Jack, this will likely keep you from any further promotions.”

“Or I can just retire now and save everyone the trouble,” Jack said, tilting his head to the ceiling and letting go of a heavy breath.  The General wasn’t sure if he was being earnest or sarcastic.

“Sir…” Sam voiced.

Hammond stepped in.  “That’s another thing, Jack.  The president himself has stated, in my phone call just now, that you are not to be allowed to retire.  Your leadership is too valuable, and many of our allies prefer to do business with you.”

“Sir, I’m not irreplaceable.”

“You are to us,” Hammond said, almost smiling.

“What about Carter?” Jack asked.

“Major Carter will have no reprimand on her file,” Hammond said proudly.

“What?” Sam whispered.

“Thank you, Sir,” Jack said alongside her whisper.

“As I said, Major Carter, you are to be removed from SG-1 effective immediately.”

“Yes, Sir,” she said meekly.

“Jack, you, as SG-1’s commanding officer, will replace her with someone from the candidate pool.”

Jack protested immediately, “Sir, I cannot possibly replace h—“

“Major Carter,” Hammond continued, ignoring Jack, “you will be given a new position which I have been urged to create.  If you feel safe continuing to work under the mountain during your pregnancy, you will remain stationed here under the title of Chief Stargate Scientist.  You will report directly to me and you will keep your rank of Major and will have nary a mark on your record,” Hammond paused.  Sam’s eyes were huge, her pupils dilated, her mouth gone slack.  “Major, in this new role you will be given use of a new lab, two scientists, and any technology that has already been brought back through the Stargate.  Your mission directive is to study, develop, and rapidly infuse alien technology into better means of Earthen aerospace technology, defense, and intelligence.  You will also continue to serve as the senior most Stargate expert, monitoring and defusing problems with the Stargate.  Once you have delivered your child, you may have freedom to travel through the Stargate at your discretion to accompany any SG team on missions which you feel may be scientifically important.”

Sam sat, mouth agape now. 

“Wow,” Jack said.

“Sir, this is incredible,” Sam added.

Hammond bounced his head.  “I’m glad you approve,” then he took in her continued look of dismay.  “Major, you seem disturbed.”

Sam sat up straighter.  “I’m sorry, Sir.  It’s just that this hardly seems like a punishment.  Colonel O’Neill is taking all of the blame for our relationship.”

“No, Major Carter.  While Colonel O’Neill is receiving a reprimand, the fault in this situation lies elsewhere, with the leader of a people group who imprisoned you, forced you into labor, and altered your memories and personalities.”  Hammond scratched his bald head and looked back up, “the fault is also partially mine.   As your commanding officer,” he looked at Jack, “and as the commander of this base, I should have separated the two of you at the first sign of infatuation.  Honestly, I knew you would never compromise the SGC’s mission, and you hadn’t.  I think it’s time we put this situation behind us, and look to the future.”

Sam’s mouth was still open, staring incredulously at Hammond. 

“Sam… I will agree that part of this new opportunity is not a punishment, but it will be a change in pace.  As your superior, Jack is supposed to take all, if not most of the blame.  You well deserve this position after all the times you have saved this planet and others in this command.  I also might add that your father’s contributions to this establishment helped greatly when my superiors were discussing the matter.  They are all very fond of him, and with all of your accomplishments, and Jack’s contributions to this command, no one wanted to see Jacob’s kid hit with fire.”

“Thank you, Sir,” they both said, understanding.

Hammond pursed his lips and moved his head up and down.  “There is one more important bit of advice.”

“Advice?” Jack asked in a snarky tone.

“Yes, as in listen and don’t speak,” Hammond barked, looking straight at Jack.

“Yes, Sir.”

Hammond cleared his throat.  “This advice comes from me personally, not as a General, and not as your superior officer,” he made eye contact with each of them again, for good measure.  “If you and Major Carter intend on raising the child together,” he paused briefly and received a head nod from Sam. “And if you both have any inclination to continue in a personal relationship that… at all might resemble a couple raising a family… it is my strong recommendation that you do so legally and without delay.”

Sam eyes became huge and Jack looked quickly between her and his CO.

“Honestly, with the exclusion of your omission, which all my superiors understood, the thing that saved you in this situation was that you acted above reproach when you returned to earth, as far as the relationship was concerned.”

Hammond took in Sam’s reaction to what he was saying, her eyes narrowed and thinking, her vein in her neck revealing that her heart was beating wildly.  Turning his gaze to Jack, he saw the man staring straight at him, the question in his eyes stating clearly that he needed confirmation of what Hammond was suggesting.  Very well, then.

“Let me not mince my words here, people.  I think that now, if both of you feel that a _marriage_ \- he emphasized the word - would be agreeable and… desired, then I believe it would be the best course of action, considering your personal lives, your careers, and the future of your work in this command, together, and in collaboration with other teams.  I know that a marriage is a serious commitment, and I am not placing moral judgment upon you in any way if you choose not to marry, but I wanted you to know that as far as regulations are concerned, you have an opportunity now to bind yourselves to one another in a way that will trump regulations in the future.  We never know how things will change around here, and this particular chance may not be available for long.”

“I understand, Sir,” Jack said as soon as Hammond finished.

“Thank you, Uncle George,” Sam said gently.

“Very well.” He stood, Sam and Jack standing with him.  “Sam, I wish you luck on today’s treatment.  Dr. Fraiser has orders to keep me informed throughout.  Dismissed.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

They walked out in unison, but didn’t look at each other.  Sam led the way, and Jack followed.  In the crowded elevator, they finally locked eyes, communicating relief and warning that they shouldn’t talk until they were alone.  At the right level, they exited and walked slowly to her lab.

Jack walked in first and flipped on the lights, turned to watch her close the door and lock it.  She turned, slowly, and met his gaze.  They didn’t speak.  Sam roamed his face, searching, finding a smirk, a smile, eyes that were sparkling in anticipation.  She sucked in her breath and snapped her jaw shut, unbelieving of how her life could suddenly change so dramatically, so fast.  She smiled.  Jack began to move, inching his way towards her and gathering his arms around her, a tight hug, his head burrowing in her neck.  She hugged back, her arms going above his to hug his neck and broad shoulders.

“I can’t believe this,” she said, breathlessly.

“I know,” he agreed against the skin of her neck, and she shivered.

“I never thought...” she said while he moved to look at her.

“I know,” he said as he captured her lips for a brief, but passionate kiss.  Still hugging her tightly, he ended the kiss and rested his forehead against hers.  With a confident voice, he whispered, “Marry me.”

She smiled against his mouth.  “Seems a bit fast.”

He could tell she was being playful, nervous.  He kissed her again, hugged her even tighter.  “Marry me,” he repeated, louder, bolder.

“Shh,” she sounded against his lips, smiling, one hand coming up to place fingers over his lips.  She pulled back enough to look into his eyes, her smile fading into her mouth as she bit her lip.  “We hardly know each other.”

“We know enough; _I_ know enough that I don’t want to miss this chance.”

She swallowed, let her fingers play with his lips while her thumb stroked his chin.  “I love you,” she whispered. 

Jack drew his head back so he could see her whole face.  The night before, when he had made his love confession, she had kissed him but made no similar claim.  He framed her face with his hands, “Marry me,” he whispered one last time.

She nodded.  “Yes.”

Jack kissed her again, and heard the little high-pitched sound she made at the back of her throat when she was happy, satisfied.  Inside her chest, fireworks were exploding, making her unsteady on her feet. 

Her phone rang. 

They jumped apart and Sam reached for the receiver, “Carter.”

“Yeah.  Hi, Janet… No, everything’s fine.  I was on my way to the infirmary now… give me five minutes.  Okay…bye,” Sam turned back towards Jack and returned the phone receiver to the wall.

“Janet wanting to know why I was late… she thought I’d forgotten.”

“Like you could forget the treatment that is saving your life,” Jack rolled his eyes and walked towards her.  “So, we’re doing this?”

She gave him a full blown smile as an answer.  Jack picked up the phone she had just put down and dialed out.  Sam checked on a few things in her lab and listened as Jack spoke.

“General! Yeah.  Listen, I wondered if you could contact the Tok’ra for me and relay a message for Jacob,” Jack raised his eyebrows at Sam and smirked, enjoying her look of confusion.  “No, Sir… everything’s fine, just need a message sent out,” he motioned his hands in a circle as he listened to Hammond speak, letting Sam know the General was going on and on.  “Yes, Sir!  The message should say…’Sam needs a white dress’.”  He smiled as he watched his new fiancée grin from ear to ear.  “That’s right, Sir… he’ll know exactly what the message means…  uhum, thanks, General,” he hung up the phone.

“ _That’s_ how you want my dad to find out?”

“He’ll be thrilled.”

She didn’t look as certain.

“Carter,” Jack snapped her attention back to him.  “You’re the apple of his eye, he’d do anything for you… I know he’ll be happy.” he let the sentence drag into her own mind.  “C’mon.  Time for your beauty sleep.”

Sam followed him out of her lab and to the infirmary.  “Don’t let Janet give me any sedatives this time, Jack.”

“I’ll guard your IV pole like a hawk,” he winked at her, and Sam knew that Jack would be good on his word.


	14. Above his Heart

Jacob had been contacted as Jack requested and the SCG received a message back through the Stargate a few days after that: “Tell her I’m buying,” together with a few dates in the future where he might be showing up back on Earth.  Sam had been unconscious again for nearly two days and the lethargy that stuck with her afterwards was irritating for the high energy person that she way.  Because of the new Jolinar protein blockers, and the heavy doses of human growth hormones she was receiving in the treatments, Sam was steadily growing, her pregnancy advancing at a fast pace.  She looked beautiful, her hair shining golden even in the dark gray walls of their underground facility.  Her stomach was distended now, her body the image of new life forming.  She had food cravings and mood swings, drank water like she was some sort of camel, and slept late and went to bed early.  Jack joined her at her house every evening now, and he’d massage her back, stroke her growing middle adoringly, make love to her at any conceivable chance.  They were like forbidden lovers who had finally caught a break, and they simply couldn’t keep their hands off each other, day or night. 

They told Teal’c and Daniel about the plans for the future of the team, and for the future of Sam and Jack as a family.  Teal’c had stood, extended his arm to Jack, grasped it tightly and congratulated him as a brother.  Then, he clearly warned O’Neill that if he ever betrayed or hurt Samantha, he would crush him with his bare hands.  Daniel had hugged Sam first, “I’m so happy for you, Sam,” he whispered in her ear and added that he would miss her on the team. 

Janet was, surprisingly, the most shocked of all about the news of Sam’s upcoming wedding to Jack.  Sam had driven to her house to give her the big news, ask her to be a part of the wedding.

“Getting married?” Janet had asked her, stunned.

Sam’s smile began to slide off her face.  “Yeah,” she answered, now unsure of having driven over.

“Is that really what you want?” Janet questioned her, a disappointed look on her face.

Sam looked at her, frowning.  “Honestly, I don’t understand your disapproval,” Sam said, face downcast, glad Cassie had been at soccer practice.

“It’s just… Sam, really? You’re both just gonna… get married?” Janet gestured with her hands. “Just ignore the fact that you hardly know each other besides being commanding officer and subordinate?”

“You know our history,” Sam began to explain.

“Sure…. You’ve been attracted to each other, there’s a chemistry,” she conceded, “but Sam, that won’t make a marriage.”

Sam was stunned and her face drew back about a foot from her body.  “Why can’t you be happy for me, Jan?”

“I just can’t understand how you can just sell out to this plan and lose your independence just like that – she snapped her fingers – it just isn’t the Sam I know.  You love going through the gate!”

“A lot’s changed,” Sam said.

“The Sam I know would never agree to marry a man just because of an unplanned pregnancy.”

“I’m not marrying him just because of—”

“Yes, you are,” Janet cut her off.

“Janet…” Sam warned her.

“You’re telling me,” Janet accused, “that if you weren’t pregnant with his child that you would marry him?”

Sam scowled at her.

“No, no, Sweetie!” Janet tried to defend herself.  “I’m just saying… I’d understand you both dating… him moving in together…” she gestured and trailed off.  “But not a marriage right off the bat!  I mean, it’s just too sudden for you!”

“Janet, back off,” Sam all but screamed.

“I’m just saying that Colonel O’Neill may not be the man that’s right for you.  Just because you’re—”

“Just because I’m having his child _is_ a good reason to get married to a man that I already love and _have_ loved for years.  You may not understand that but I don’t care.  I will not stand here while you degrade a man who has saved this planet more times than—”

“Alright!” Janet yelled, her hands raised in defeat.

Sam’s scowl grew deeper as she realized an ugly truth.  “You’re just mad that I haven’t shared anything with you – that I have someone else to spend my time with, that I won’t be at your house every weekend to hang out with you or play with Cassie,” Sam said plainly.

Janet sucked in her lips.  “Easy there, Sam,” she sighed and sat down.  “I am not jealous of this.”

“Of all the people I thought would judge me for this, I never thought you would be one of them.”

“I’m not!”

“Yes you are! You’re judging my actions, my choices.  We didn’t mean for this to happen; we certainly didn’t intend on making a child together.  But we did.” Sam picked up her purse.  “Don’t you dare judge me for trying to make the most of it while I can,” Sam said angrily, and picking up her coat, she walked through Janet’s house and left, her volvo screeching down the road.

Sam walked into her house, looked around for Jack.  She had seen his pickup in the street and known he was here, was always here these days.  She was sad but no longer fuming, and the warmth of her house gave her peace.  She had begun enjoying being home so much more now; now that she was no longer alone, no longer bursting with angst at every turn.  It filled her chest with hope and she closed her eyes to more clearly remember what it was like as a child, when she had both a mother and a father that loved her.  Pictures of family dinners and Christmas mornings flooded her mind, the image of her mom brushing her hair on the family couch as her brother built a lego tower, another of her father, spinning her around the backyard until they both fell onto the soft, green grass.  She opened her eyes and took a shallow sigh, and with slow, languid movements made her way to the kitchen, which glowed brightly in the otherwise dark house. 

Approaching the kitchen, she saw Jack stirring a pot over the stove, a beer in his spare hand, his eyes glued to the red sauce that bubbled rapidly over the heat.  She leaned her body on the doorframe, watched him, imagined coming home to this man every day, sharing a meal with their child.  She suddenly realized that however she arrived at this very point, the reality of being able to have this, to have _them,_ overwhelmed Sam.  Eyes prickling with tears, she thought of her mother, how much she was loved and how much Sam loved her back, reveled in how amazing it would be to have that kind of love in her life again, even with the role now reversed.  The child no longer… the mother now, the wife.  Her mother had been the glue that held the family together, the key to every door, the answer to every question.  An excited flutter appeared in her belly as she placed herself in that very role, just as Jack noticed her and turned around.

“What happened?” he asked immediately, turning the fire off and making his way to her.  He always could read her, well before they were lovers.

 She shook her head and tried to smile but failed.  Approaching her, her drew her to him and kissed her, a small kiss, a welcome home kiss.  The increased tenderness between them over the past week made her heart flutter.

“Jack O’Neill, are you making me dinner?” she asked playfully, and her voice betrayed her earlier emotions.

He released her and focused on her face, met her eyes, cupped her cheek.  Sam marveled at how safe she felt near him, how whole.  Her eyes began to shine again and she closed them, leaned her head onto his hand.

“Janet?” he asked.

Sam swallowed and opened her eyes.  “I’m starving.  Can we eat?” she moved around him to peek at the food he had prepared, spaghetti with meat sauce.  Sam’s mouth watered just as she felt him hug her from behind.

“Hey,” he spoke near her ear; Sam took a deep breath.

“She didn’t approve,” Sam whispered.  “She didn’t… she thought I was being rash, that I was doing this to protect myself, protect the baby from scandal.  She said… she said it was fast, that it might not work… ”

“It doesn’t matter what she said,” Jack spun her around slowly to face her.  “None of that is true.”

Sam bobbed her head up and down quickly.  “I know, I know…”  She raised her right hand and rubbed it against his chest, above his heart.  “It hurt…” Sam whispered, “to hear it from her,” Sam tried to explain, tried to convey the sense of betrayal that rocked her mind.  “She’s one of my best friends.”  Sam sighed and encircled her arms around Jack’s torso, hugging him and resting her head against the spot on his chest she had been rubbing.  He held her tightly, kissed her head.

They ate, Jack content to see Sam’s appetite and her appreciation for his cooking, and then she led him to her room, _their_ room.  She undressed and invited him into the shower to rinse off.  This had become their habit, to talk in the shower.  They’d toss ideas back and forth as they washed hair, shaved legs.  Jack would talk about the long list of candidates that weren’t good enough to replace her on SG-1, Sam would talk about the way her body felt, the way she could feel stretching, moving, how her sense of smell could rival a dog’s at any moment.  Her water bill would be a disaster this month, and Sam couldn’t be any happier about it.  When they were done washing, done talking, she sat on the ledge of the shower, next to the shampoo bottle and soap, and invited him closer.  She washed him, stroked him, until he was firm and red and grunting with pleasure.  She rinsed her hands and him of the soap, and with a determination in her eyes took him into her mouth, humming her satisfaction as he made incoherent sounds she had never heard before.  This was new, they hadn’t done this on the planet as Jonah and Thera, and Sam felt a bubble of pride that Sam and Jack could have this to claim as their own.  She enjoyed the experience so much, she was a little disappointed when it was over.  When he could focus again, could breath again, Jack knelt down between her legs and kissed her mouth long and hard, then, he reciprocated the favor, right there on the shower ledge, his own heartbeat hammering outside of his chest, Sam’s hands buried in his hair.


	15. Above Duty

**Allusions to Season 4, Episode 15, “Chain Reaction”**

Not a week after the blowup with Janet, General Hammond announced his retirement, claiming he could no longer stand to watch good people go through the gate.  It wasn’t that the retirement was fast, without fanfare or party, it was that the retirement was strange.  Jack had immediately gone to investigate the matter and Hammond confessed that he had been threatened, didn’t have a choice in leaving the SGC since he had to protect his family, something Jack understood all too well.  Jack pulled strings with the president himself, allowing Mayborne out of his military prison to collect evidence against Hammond’s perpetrators, while the new General Bauer wreaked havoc in the SGC.  Daniel was thrown in his office and told to be an archeologist, to research, to help teams when needed.  Without being military, General Bauer found him beyond useless on a front line team. 

High on power, Bauer walked into Sam’s lab with a folder, orders to build a destructive Naquadah bomb, and to get to it.  ”It’s my honor to serve,” still bubbled to the surface when she was commanded to do something, but she bit back the automatic remark.

“With all due respect, Sir, my new position—” Sam began explaining but was interrupted.

“Your new position is nothing but a sham to protect your sorry reputation for sleeping around with your commanding officer!”

“Sir!”

“You should be ashamed of yourself,” he looked her up and down.  “Of course, I don’t blame O’Neill, he’s a man after all and you,” his eyes roamed her body, the end of his sentence dying in his watering mouth.

“How dare you!”

“If I were you I’d be very careful what you say or do.  General Hammond may have allowed a certain latitude, but you do well to watch your tongue with me.  We wouldn’t want your lover to end up on the wrong kind of mission, or worse, the wrong side of a test for the Naquadah enhancing effects on this device,” he tapped the folder on his hands while Sam scowled.  “Trust me, your former team’s long history of insubordination will come to a swift end under my command.  If I even smell a rumor that one of _my_ female officers is degrading herself with a superior, I’ll court-martial you both faster than you can imagine.”

Sam stood still at parade rest and stared straight at the wall, ignoring his hollow threat.

“I’m watching you.  Now, get to work,” he threw the folder on the nearest surface and left, his foul breath with him.

Sam ground her teeth and considered opening a sexual harassment report, but then knew she would have to expose the nature of her pregnancy and conception in the fallout, and decided to suck it up and play the upper hand.  She did what she always did under stress: worked.

When the bomb was still months from being properly completed, General Bauer ordered it tested on a planet that supported both plant and animal life.  As Sam had predicted, the bomb’s destructive power failed to disconnect the wormhole and gamma rays immediately began to flood the base.  Sam herself had to call for an evacuation of all personnel and headed for a safer location to monitor the wormhole connection, knowing the radiation would be harmful to her fetus.  

When Sam led General Bauer to a control room nearer to the surface, Daniel raised his hands at her and said, “Sam!” he looked at her abdomen, “Jack will kill me if I don’t get you out of here.  You know that!”

General Bauer looked at her and furrowed his eyebrows.  It was obvious that he didn’t know of her pregnancy, and Sam wanted to keep it that way, the annoyance and warning in her look directed at Daniel.  He followed her nonverbal communication and didn’t say anything else about it.

“If this actually happens, Daniel, it won’t matter if I’m in the mountain or above it, trust me,” she said, sitting at the computer station and bringing up the computer schematics on the gate, the count clock on the wormhole.  General Bauer lost what little decency he had left as a commander and abandoned the room, while Daniel and Sam looked onto the computer, watched as the time passed 38 minutes, then kept going. 

“Sam, we have to get you further from the radiation,” Daniel whispered.

“I know,” Sam conceded, getting up, just as the computer beeped and on screen they watched as the wormhole finally disengaged.  The drama and fallout was enough that General Bauer returned from whence he came and all of the SGC breathed a sigh of relief.

sSsSsSsSs

The night General Hammond was re-instated as the base commander, Jack held a BBQ in his backyard.  Sam went to answer the door for some of the last guests and saw Janet standing with Cassie.  She smiled and hugged Cassie, leading them both into the house, nervous about Janet’s presence and their current tense relationship.  Sam accepted the salad bowl form Janet’s hands as they walked into Jack’s kitchen.

“How are you feeling?” Janet asked her, dripping niceness.

“Great,” Sam answered coldly.  “I feel great,” Sam rubbed her hand down her distended middle.

Janet noticed her reticence, and coughed lightly.  “Cassie, honey,” Janet stroked the girl’s hair, “why don’t you go say hi to the guys outside?”

“Okay,” Cassie hopped through the kitchen and out the back, oblivious to the turmoil in the kitchen.

“I really don’t want another lecture from you,” Sam said nervously, watching the door close to the outside.

“I’m not here to lecture you.  Actually, I owe you an apology,” Janet said in a low tone.

“Oh?”

“Yeah.  I’m sorry.”

Sam bit her lip but didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry I didn’t respect your choices, or celebrate your news, or act at all like a friend.  I have missed having you around, I admit.  I did feel left out of information about your new romance.  I wish that wasn’t the truth… but it is,” Janet admitted, sadly.

Sam watched Janet as she apologized; somehow it still didn’t sit well with her.  “I never thought you would be one to… not understand my decision.”

“Sam,” Janet whispered.

“You know what’s funny?” Sam continued while she stared at the counter, “I expected that from some people, like my brother,” she looked straight at Janet.  “I thought Mark would blow his top and accuse me of all manner of things and say that marriage wasn’t the solution to pregnancies and illicit affairs… blame the military…” she lowered her voice on the last part.  Janet’s eyes were huge and full of remorse.  “But you know?  Mark was the kindest of all of you, saying he was happy for me, saying he thought I’d be a great mom.”

“You will be a great mom!”

Sam sighed tiredly, ignoring Janet’s interjection, and went to sit at the kitchen table. 

“When I wanted to adopt Cassie, you were my biggest supporter.  I’m sorry I didn’t act the same way towards you,” Janet said, sounding a bit rehearsed.

It was quiet in the kitchen, and the sounds of Daniel sneezing outside reached their ears.

“You were right,” Sam began on a whisper, “you were right about some of the things you said.”  Janet made her way to the table and sat on the opposite side of Sam.  “None of this would’ve happened had it not been for the pregnancy, especially a marriage.”

Janet shook her head.  “I was wrong to say that.  You have the right to make things best for the baby.”

They were silent again for a while, the sounds of the outside barbeque breaking some of the tension.  “I’ve missed you too, Janet,” Sam confessed, scratching at a piece of skin between her eyebrows.  “I didn’t feel I could share much of anything with anyone, because it was… wrong, had been wrong.”  Janet folded her upper body over the table to be closer to Sam.  “I could barely look at you when you asked if Jack was the father.”

Janet spoke next, “Sam I… I knew you loved him, what I said last week was… unfair.”

Sam smiled, but not fully.  The moment was tense and awkward, two women trying to make up a friendship shattered by new romance.  Sam was tired, still stressed from the Naquadah bomb test, from duty that was well above her paygrade.  The week had proved how quickly things could indeed change for the SGC, how vital it was that she marry Jack as soon as she could, before the rules of the game changed once more.

  “You and I have been together in this Janet… started at the SGC at nearly the same time.  We’ve always understood each other, given each other space…”

“Freedom to live as we want, it’s the very thing that defines us, you and me,” Janet conceded.  “The ability to save others, to help the world with our talent.  To keep all we hold true while doing all that…”  Janet said allusively.

Sam leaned away from Janet, clutching at the napkin dispenser in the middle of the table and holding it as if it were a shield.  “In all the saving the world and military duty ideology…” Sam pondered their deep conversation.  “I absolutely love my job, love what I do, but when I came back from 118, I started thinking…. this isn’t the life I dreamed about, you know?  Where’s the romance? Where’s the joie de vivre?  Suddenly every Christmas card or T.V. commercial represents a life that you can’t have.”  Sam wasn’t sure the last sentence was spoken or just thought.

“Life’s not a fairy tale, Sam,” Janet braved.

“Hmmm,” Sam agreed, nodding her head.  “But what Jack and I have now is more important to me than anything I’ve ever had in my entire life,” Sam said in one long breath, surprising even herself with her confession.

Janet looked at her but didn’t speak.  Sam challenged her with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay… All that in just a month?”

“It wasn’t just a month, Janet!  It’s been four years of, of… of _longing_ for this.”

Janet raised her chin and held her breath in understanding.  She closed her mouth and nodded.  “I was afraid, Sam… that you had let go of who you are, what you believe to be true, to protect your…” she let the sentence die in the quiet kitchen.  “I was wrong.”

“Janet, I’ve always held that despite how complex this world is, we should strive to overcome… to make it better, no matter how dire the circumstances, by doing what is right, by following the rules laid out for us.”

Janet nodded her agreement.

“Truth is, life just can’t be that stringent,” Sam said with a laugh.  “The truth is, what happened on 118, what’s happening to me now… love and new life… those things are more important than any of the ideology I once thought so crucial.”

“Sam,” Janet tried.  “Our duty is still important.”

“I agree completely,” Sam nodded, feeling confident.  “And I’ll still get to be a part of the program, serve my country, advance science… I’ll just also get to _have_ something more, _be_ something more,” she looked Janet in the eye.  “My mother had all of those things.” Sam said with finality. 

Janet swallowed and held back whatever she wanted to say.   “You deserve every happiness, Sam.”

The kitchen was quiet, the women looking down at the table.  Janet noticed Sam’s hands flat against the tabletop, a new ring sparkling on her left hand.

“It’s beautiful,” Janet said, “your ring is absolutely gorgeous.”

Sam pulled her hand back and looked at it, the sparkling ring that fit her personality and finger like they were made for her.  She remembered the night Jack had given it to her, not more than a week ago, telling her he loved her and wanted all of her, body and soul, forever.

“It was my mom’s…”  she said wistfully.  “I remember her wearing it.”

“I love it,” Janet said, with meaning.

Sam closed her eyes and imagined her mother.  “Jack said Dad gave it to him the last time he was on earth, while I was unconscious.”

 “Wow,” Janet tilted her head.  “I guess I didn’t realize the two of them had talked.”

“Yeah,” Sam replied, looking at the ring again.  “I never knew what had happened to it,” she twirled it around her finger.  “I never thought it would be mine one day.”

“It looks brand new,” Janet said awkwardly, the twinge of jealousy not far gone.

“Jack took it to jeweler, had the metal re-dipped, the prongs checked or replaced, I don’t know…” she moved her fingers so the stone sparkled.  “I’m sure they gave it a massive cleaning.”

Janet smiled and was silent, looking at her friend from across the table.

“I was hoping you would be in my wedding,” Sam whispered.  “Hold my flowers while I say my vows…”

Janet’s nervous stomach turned over in relief.   “Oh, Sam, I would be honored.”

Sam met Janet’s eyes, which were filled with moisture, “Jan… Jack is not a threat to our friendship.”

Janet smiled and reached for her friend, hugging her tightly.  Sam hugged her back and sighed, relief finally coming.

Daniel walked into the kitchen, a dirty plate of meat drippings in his hand.  “Ehh,” he said uncomfortably, “are all my women ok in here?”

They separated and both laughed.  “Yes, we’re fine.”

“Good!” Jack said from behind Daniel.  “I’m very, very glad,” he made eye contact with Sam and saw the resolution of their friendship reflected in her eyes.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is something very complicated that happens with friendships when one party falls in love; I tried to capture this.
> 
> I'll be in Vancouver this week meeting RDA and loads of other crazy fans. If you're coming and are reading this story, tweet me, I'd love to meet you.
> 
> @txwebbo


	16. Aboveboard Part I

Jack arrived at Sam’s later than usual.  It was 21:45 and he knew Sam would either be in bed or close to it; the pregnancy was making her exhausted lately.  He walked through her dark hallway, having become familiar with her house and furnishings.  He saw light spilling through her bedroom and walked towards it, but stopped when he heard her voice closer to him.  She was speaking with someone in her spare room, and Jack stopped, waited to hear another voice but when he didn’t, concluded that she had been on the phone.  He walked slowly and overheard her conversation, pausing right before the entrance to the extra room, his head tilted slightly in concentration.

“Well, we were thinking right away, as soon as Dad is back in town,” Jack heard Sam say on the phone. 

She waited a bit then added, “You know how it is, we can’t communicate with him all the time when he’s on a mission… yes, even though he’s a General,” Jack could hear how tired she was this evening in her voice.  “He’s been doing some very important work lately.”

She waited a long while this time.  Jack wondered if she was talking to Mark again, but he remembered that Mark was already in the know of everything.

“No, I know… Yes, exactly.  But we aren’t just getting married because of the baby.  I’ve thought a lot about it and I know it’s the right decision,” Sam said.

“I know… I know, Pat.  I know you would support me no matter what, and that’s why I want you there.”

_Pat?_   Jack wondered who Pat was.  Jack could hear Sam exhale and imagined her shoulders relaxing.  “Thank you, Pat.  I’ll buy you a ticket as soon as I know the date…  Yes, I know your schedule is very flexible.”

More waiting.  Whoever Pat was, the woman was a talker.  Jack guessed it could be a man. 

“Well, we both own houses, but Jack’s is a lot bigger, and more secluded… closer to nature.  It’s nice, but my house is more… updated.”

_More updated?_ Jack thought.  _What the hell does that mean?_

“Yeah.  Maybe.  I really don’t feel like going through a remodel, though.  I don’t have time,” Sam said to her phone. 

_You and me both.  Remodel?_  Jack was getting a bit pissed at her personal conversation.  And he thought his house was plenty updated, actually.

“Maybe… Jack and I really haven’t talked about it,” Sam continued inside the room.

Jack thought he had eavesdropped enough and he made his appearance through her door.  She didn’t notice him so he knocked lightly on the door frame until Sam saw him.  She smiled and he waved and gestured down the hallway.  She waved back and continued talking on the phone.  She was sitting on her desk chair, swiveling around the open room, looking aimlessly at the floor.  He stepped back out of the doorway and continued slowly to her bedroom.

Her conversation annoyed him.  What did she mean by the things she was saying to this Pat person?  And why had he never heard the name Pat before?  Perhaps it was true that they really didn’t know each other that well at all.  He stripped down to his boxers and opened his overnight bag, stuffing the clothes he had shed inside.  He went to the bathroom, still in his boxers, and found his toothbrush in the cup, right next to Sam’s.  Jack was familiar with this picture of shared domesticity, had been married to Sara for years.  He wondered now if he really remembered all that he was getting into again, marriage and all that it entailed.  _This is Sam,_ he thought, _this is what you’ve wanted for years._   He finished brushing his teeth, spit into the sink, rinsed his mouth and dried off on a towel that hung on a hook.  The towel was blue, like Sam’s eyes.  He'd never noticed Sam had blue towels until now.  He looked around the bathroom and thought about living here.  He didn’t mind her house, her things, but he did love his own house, his yard, the rooftop deck with the perfect telescope, his own bathroom with his own brown towels.  He stared at himself in the mirror.  He still looked good, his muscles ripped from training and active duty.  He knew the way his body affected Sam, loved the way her breath always hitched when he took his shirt off, remembered the first time on the ice planet that she had ran her fingernails down his chest.  He hung the blue towel back up and walked into her room just as she was entering as well, her look worn and her posture done-in.

“Hey,” she said, rubbing her eyes with both hands.  “How was the mission?”

“Crappy,” he answered grouchily.  He wondered vaguely at what had made him turn so sour.

Sam lowered her hands and raised her eyebrows.  “Why?  What happened?”

“Tropical planet during monsoon season,” he said quickly.

Sam couldn’t contain a bubble of laughter.  Jack scowled at her.  “It wasn’t funny,” he said seriously.  “Daniel almost got washed away in a flash flood and the lightning chased us all the way back to the gate.”

She straightened and made her face turn serious.  “I’m sorry.”

“Would never have happened if you were still on the team,” Jack said without thinking, sitting down on the edge of the bed and scratching at his hair.

Sam stopped, turned her head. “Excuse me?”

“You would have read the MALP correctly, predicted the weather, known what to do on the planet…” Jack said in a firm voice.

“I’m sorry, are you actually blaming me for your shitty mission?” Sam said in a new voice filled with confusion and annoyance.

“No!” Jack exhaled.  “No, I’m not,” he got up from the bed.  “I’m just saying Burnett should have done a better job.”

“Well, there’s a learning curve to the job, Jack.  Plus, I’m not a meteorologist and neither is Burnett,” Sam spoke while taking off her earrings, she wanted to add that it wasn’t just her fault that she was off the team, but didn’t.

“Yeah, well, the guy is slow as hell.  He’s not learning very fast.”

Sam pursed her lips and got in bed on her side.  “Okay,” was all she said.

“Are you going straight to sleep?” he asked.

She looked at her clock, which read 22:05 and then back at him.  “Yes, I’m tired.”

Jack sighed and ran a hand down his face.

“What the hell is wrong, Jack?”

Jack looked up at the ceiling and placed his hands on his hips.  “Who were you talking to?”

“What?” Sam asked after a beat.

“Who were you talking to?” Jack repeated pointing to her door, indicating the hallway and the spare room and the conversation that had turned him black.

“To a friend,” Sam answered, her voice sad.

Jack didn’t catch her warning.  “Seemed like a pretty personal conversation.”

Sam narrowed her eyes and pushed the covers off her legs.  “Excuse me?”

“I’ve never heard you talk about a Pat.”

Sam looked at Jack like he was a stranger.  “There’s a lot of things we haven’t talked about yet, Jack!  You can’t expect to know everything about me overnight,” Sam exclaimed. 

“You were discussing our future living arrangements with him!”

“Oh, my god,” Sam turned and got out of bed.  “Did you eavesdrop our entire conversation?”

“No!  I just heard a bit while I was walking in.”

Sam fumed.  She stood in the middle of her room and touched her nose in a repeated nervous tick.  “Why are you here, Jack?”

It was Jack’s turn to look at Sam, confused and angry.  “What do you mean why am I here?  Do you not want me here?” He practically spat.

“Not when you bring with you the world’s foulest mood!”  She yelled.

“You’re one to talk about moods!” He stretched out his hands in aggravation.

Sam tilted her head and licked her lips. “Oh, great, Jack.  Call a pregnant woman moody.”

“Oh, come on!”

“Come on, what?” she answered him.  “What do you want from me? Sex?”

He looked at her, devastated, genuinely hurt.

“I’m sorry,” she said immediately, wanting to kick herself.  She sighed and ran a hand down her own lips.  “Look, I’m tired and frankly – pretty mad.  Maybe you should just go.”

Jack shook his head.  “What if you need me?”

She raised her eyebrows.  “What if I need you?” she repeated.

“Yes, what if something happens? A pain?”

“I’m 33, Jack.  I know how to dial a phone,” Sam said even as she wondered how she could be so cruel to a man she loved.

“Great,” Jack answered, curtly.  He picked up his bag from the floor, put his jeans and his t-shirt back on and walked out.  At the door to her room he stopped, turned and looked at her.  She was standing by her bed, her left hand over her mouth.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Carter,” and then he left.  Down the hallway, he thought he could hear her starting to cry, but he guessed he could be wrong.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gatecon:   I did meet RDA, had dinner with Carmen Argenziano (who is lovely and hasn’t aged a minute), got a kiss from Corin Nemec and one from Cliff Simon (on the cheek – you dirty fansgirls), and pics with Chris Hyerdahl and Emilie Ullerup from Sanctuary.  Carmen said, “you mean they went fishing right after I died?  Not even a prayer?”  RDA sat behind us during a main activity and we saw him and others at hallways, elevators, and mostly the bar.  My favorite panel was Martin Wood and Gary Jones (Harriman) who were making live commentaries while we watched the episode Homecoming together.  It was just too much.  At a scene where Sam and Jack were sitting across from each other, Martin said, “We couldn’t put those two too close together or they’d, you know… start going at it… get all angsty.”  NO JOKE.  The system lords panel was also hysterical.  Suanne (Hathor) was the funniest thing ever. I had a lovely time and wrote this chapter and 4 others on the plane ride there and back.
> 
> Back to the story: Thanks to SamnJackAlways for correcting a million mistakes.  I promise you will not have to wait long for the next chapter.  Thanks to everyone who is still reading.  A big shout out to alicesandra who recognized me at the con and flailed about reading my fanfic.  xoxo


	17. Aboveboard Part II

Sam slept fitfully and unwell.  She was having trouble concentrating on her morning tasks in her lab, being forced to retake steps several times and read the same lines of instructions more than once.  She had a long list to complete today, so she tried doing one thing at a time, methodically pausing after each step to make sure she had done it correctly.  Something besides the mission had been bothering Jack the night before, and she knew that kicking him out had undoubtedly added to his monstrous mood.  She sighed as she scraped cells off an alien device and spread her sample on a small glass plate.  She should have just explained who Pat was to him last night, but shook her head and remembered that she had felt betrayed on principle.  She stiffened when she heard footsteps and felt his presence.

“Morning,” he said into her lab. 

She cleared her throat and answered with a “Sir,” her eyes not leaving the microscope in front of her.

“Sir?” he asked.

She looked up, then, but not directly at him.

He put both hands up defensively.  “I just wanted to see if you wanted to join me for breakfast.”

Sam placed the glass on the base of her microscope and looked through the eyepiece.  “I’m not hungry,” she lied.  It was 0830 and her morning piece of toast was long gone, consumed by her growing baby.

He was silent and she thought he’d leave, but instead he came closer and sat on her stool.

“You wanna talk?”  he asked shyly.

Sam moved her head and looked at him, finally.  “Are you in a better mood?”

He shrugged.  “I could probably use another coffee.”

She looked at the clock on the wall and her hunger made the decision for her.  “Okay.  Second breakfast.”

Jack smiled, relieved.  “Great!”

They walked silently to the mess, and Jack got a bowl of fruit loops while Sam made a pile of pancakes and bacon on her own plate.  Instead of coffee, which she kept strictly to one per day, she filled her foam cup with chocolate milk.  When she sat at a corner table he had selected, he smiled and looked at her plate.

“This is your second breakfast?”

“Shut up,” she said, but he could tell she was joking.  “This child makes me hungrier than I’ve ever been in my entire life.”

“Oh, I think it’s great.  I’ve never seen you enjoy food this much.” The mood was indeed improved, for both of them.

She hummed as she took a slice of bacon between her teeth.  Neither knew how to start the conversation.  Sam took a sip of her chocolate milk and waited.  Jack’s fruit loops seemed to become soggy.

“I’m sorry I eavesdropped.”

Sam looked up from his fruit loops and met his eyes.  “I’m sorry I kicked you out.”

“Yeah, that hurt,” he said, scrunching his nose.  “Kind ‘a felt like that time you said you could raise the kid all by yourself.”

She made a face remembering.  “I could never raise this kid by myself.”

Jack met her eyes.  “You probably could, actually, but I’m glad we’ve made… other arrangements,” he said quietly so no one could hear them.

She licked her lips.  “I know.  And I’m terribly moody too,” she wanted to touch him, touch his hand, but they were in the middle of the mess at the SGC. 

They communicated silently, their stares relieving the need for touch.

“I like you there,” she revealed in a whisper.  “I regretted it the minute you were gone.  I barely slept all night.”

“Me either.”

“I think I’m used to having you next to me now.”

“Mmm.”

A team barged in through the doors, laughing and grabbing trays of food.

“Pat is a woman,” Sam said when the noise had died down.

“Ah,” Jack said, bouncing his head and playing with his food.

“Patricia Dutton.  She was my mother’s best friend.” She watched Jack’s expression change.  “She’s my godmother,” she added quietly.

“Sam…” Jack said.

“I talk to her on the phone about once a week.”

Jack nodded.

“I know you heard me saying some things to her that you and I haven’t exactly discussed,” she looked around the mess and back at her lover.  “But there’s a lot more I’ve told her that you haven’t heard.  Good things… about you… about us.”

“You don’t have to explain...”

“She helps me… helps me work through things,” Sam explained.

“I’m glad you have her,” Jack said sincerely.

“I wanted her at the wedding.  I know it will be a rushed affair and simple – which I like, don’t get me wrong – but there are still a few things I’d like to have, and Pat is one of them.”

“Of course,” Jack said, ignoring their location and reaching for her hand.

“Thank you,” Sam said, squeezing back.

She drew her hand while Jack fiddled.  “Look,” she added, “we’re, ah, together now. Things are getting pretty real.  We’re going to live together and walk in on conversations and find things about each other that we didn’t know about.  Let’s just try to keep our heads about us and be patient… be open.”

“I can be cool,” Jack said, loving that she was saying these things. 

“It’s a huge transition, what we’re going through.”

He nodded.  “And we’re doing everything a bit backwards.  Usually there’s a first date before we do things like… buy a crib together.”

“We haven’t exactly bought the crib, yet.  Or had a first date,” Sam said looking down.

“First dates are awkward anyway,” he added.

She laughed.  “Yeah, thank god we skipped that.”

“So maybe we cut each other some slack.”

“I can do that,” Sam said.

“Yeah, me too.”

She finished her pancakes while Jack pushed his cereal away and finished his coffee.

“What else do you want?” he asked her, after a while.

She looked up. 

“At our wedding,” he whispered.

She blushed at the thought of her own wedding to Jack, and took the time to think.

“Dad, Pat, and Mark.”

Jack nodded.

“And you in your dress blues,” she said as her blush grew.

“Oh, really?” his voice changed.

She smiled, showing him her teeth.  “Oh, yeah.”

He grinned back.  “Okay.”  He tried to sip at his coffee, but his smirk wouldn’t disappear and he was affected by the way Sam could make his stomach tingle by just one comment.

“Hammond doesn’t know when Jacob will be back in town,” Jack said after a while.

Sam nodded and sipped again at her chocolate milk.  “I know.  I hope he doesn’t take long, otherwise I won’t fit my dress anymore.”

“What?” Jack stopped his mug halfway to his mouth.  “You have a dress?”

Sam smiled and winked.

“When did you get one?”

“Yesterday.  I went shopping with Janet and found one I liked.  It’s actually the reason I called Pat.  I wanted her to know.”

Jack thought of the previous night, how Sam had probably worked all day while he had been on his mission, then shopped for hours with Janet looking for a wedding dress.  It was no wonder she was exhausted at night, only to be harassed by him when she finally saw him.  He felt even worse for his sin. 

“Is it white?” he tried to make amends with his interest, deciding on a course of action for this evening, take-out of her favorite meal and a back and foot rub… ask her about Pat, about the dress, make love to her at the foot of the bed, the way she liked it with his body standing in between her legs.

Sam laughed.  “This is an interesting side of you.”

“What?” Jack coughed.  “I can’t be interested in my bride’s dress?”

Sam stopped, the fork of pancakes returning to the plate as she stared at him.  Jack noticed her actions and looked up.  “What?” he asked.

“Your bride?” she whispered.

He gave her a lazy smile.  “My bride,” he said again, and for whatever reason, Sam blushed.  She closed her eyes briefly and smiled.

“Strange that I actually like that coming from you.”

“Didn’t think you would, eh?”

“Nope,” Sam told him.  “But it’s nice.  This… is nice,” she spoke wistfully.

“I also bet the make-up sex will be incredible,” Jack added.

Sam smiled again, looked around.  “Oh, you have no idea!” She answered with a glint in her eyes.

Jack actually blushed.  “Although, it can’t possibly get any better than it already is, Sam.”

“You’d be surprised,” Sam looked around the mess, scooted her body over the table closer to his.  “I shopped for more than just a dress,” she whispered.

Jack’s mouth hung open.  Sam smiled and leaned back in her chair, enjoying his stunned look and the way his blush deepened. 

Sam laughed.  “You’re such a guy.”

Jack swallowed.  The look in his eyes wiped the smile off her face and she had to shift on her chair.

“I love you,” he mouthed to her across the table, but no sound came out.

“I love you too,” she said audibly, not caring who overheard.

This felt good, felt right.  Their relationship was strong, and they were deeply in love.  Sam lay her hands on her growing middle and felt grateful for her life.  Although things had seemed impossible at the beginning, they were shaping up quite well now.  They still had a lot to talk about, a lot to learn about each other, but he made the learning easy, had even made this fight bearable and been quick to make apologies.  What happened beneath the surface was now finally starting to breath air, the suffocating steam escaping through bright, blue skies.


	18. Above Normal Part I

Jack was showered and nearly ready when he came out of the bathroom to see Sam still in bed.  He frowned and wondered when this tiredness phase would pass.  Her alarm beeped again and he saw her slap the snooze button, then reach for her watch and bring it up to her face.  She groaned, dropped her watch back on the bedside table, and reached for her phone near her alarm clock.  He sat on a chair in the corner of her room and let her do her thing; he’d learned that interacting too much with Carter before coffee was sometimes dangerous, especially when she was this tired.  She pushed something on speed dial and soon was speaking into the receiver, her voice groggy and hoarse.

“Yes, this is Major Samantha Carter, 412, dash 366349, calling in sick.”

Jack froze.  “What?” he said from his chair.

“Yes, Airman.  Please also inform General Hammond directly.  Yeah, okay… thanks,” she said and pushed the end button on the phone, but just let her arm fall on her pillow while still holding the receiver.

Jack came around to her side of the bed as she moved her head further into the pillow.  “Sam, what’s wrong?” he sat on the edge of the bed next to her, putting a hand to her forehead.

Hearing Jack, she thrust the phone in his direction, then, she covered her bare shoulder back up with the blanket and snuggled in closer to her pillow.  “I just need to sleep, Jack.  I’m fine.”

Jack look at her, incredulous.  “Sam, this is above normal pregnancy fatigue.  Maybe we should have Janet check you out.  Sara was never this tired with Charlie,” he said and hoped she didn’t mind the comparison.  It was truly his only point of reference.

Her eyes still closed, Sam answered, “Sara had never been… Tok’ra-ed,” Sam made up the verb and hoped Jack would let her get back to sleep.  She didn’t feel like she could even carry a conversation at this point.

Jack was baffled.  He reached under her blanket, found her wrist and took her pulse.  He thought of the previous week, they had been together every evening, they’d made wedding and life plans, eaten healthy foods, taken walks and watched movies.  They had made love the last few nights, and he remembered how she had collapsed into sleep almost immediately every time she hit the pillow, or hit a couch, or been left in her lab for too long.

“Jack… leave me alone, I’m just sleepy,” Sam said to him trying to shake him off her arm. 

“Uhum,” he said, but finished his task and noted her pulse was normal, her breathing even and easy.  She was probably asleep again already, her body completely relaxed and her mouth slightly open.  Jack reached over and tucked the blankets around her body tightly, turned her alarm completely off, then, stood and made his way through the house.  From the kitchen, he pulled out his cell phone and called Janet, explained to her the strange morning event.

“Well, I think it’s normal for her to be tired, especially three days after a treatment, Colonel, but it does sound unlike Sam to call in sick and stay home in order to sleep,” Janet considered on the phone.

“My point exactly,” Jack punched forward with his head.  “I actually don’t think Carter’s ever taken a sick day since I’ve known her.”

“Mmm, me either, now that you mention it.  And you said her pulse wasn’t slow?”

“Uh, no.  It was normal.  She looks dead to the world though, Doc.”

“Okay, well, I think it’s okay to let her stay home and sleep today.  There’s no reason to deny her a sick day if she needs one, Jack.”

“I leave at 0900 on a mission, Janet.  What if something is actually wrong?”  Jack worried his bottom lip.  “This pregnancy’s been a little wonky at every step.”

“I’ll personally call her around lunch time and check on her, Jack.  I don’t think it’s anything we need to worry about,” Janet answered, even as she was unsure.

“Alright,” Jack conceded.  “Thanks, Doc.”

“I’ll see you in a bit for your pre-mission checkup.”

“You had to bring that up, didn’t you?” Jack said sarcastically.

“Bye, Colonel.”

“Later, Doc.”

sSsSsSsSs

                Sam slept another six hours, waking up only to empty her bladder.  She showered and felt more human, and decided to go to the mountain after all.  She knew Jack had a standard recon mission, but that he should be back early in the evening.  There was a message from Janet on the phone, instructions to report to the infirmary upon her next check-in at the mountain.

Sam arrived at 1430, and headed straight for the mess.  She grabbed a double serving of lemon chicken with rice and skipped the salad.  The slice of chocolate cake on her tray was also no accident.

“Teal’c would be jealous of your plate,” Sam heard Janet say to her and she looked up.

“Hey,” she spoke through a mouthful of chicken.  “I was coming your way next, just had to fill up first.”

“I can see that,” Janet pointed to her meal and took a seat opposite Sam.  “It’s not like you to call in sick.”

“I know, I’m sorry about that,” Sam said, cutting another large bite.  “I just could not get out of bed this morning.  Janet, I have literally never felt this kind of tired before,” she took another bite.  “I actually feel like if I lay down after lunch, I could probably sleep some more,” she chewed. “How do women go through this multiple times?  It’s insane!”

“Yeah, that’s a little strange, actually.  Women get tired, but not usually this kind of fatigue.” She watched Sam eat, one large bite after the other, and wondered at her perplexing appetite.  “I think we should do another ultrasound, just to make sure everything is okay.  I know we did one just two weeks ago, but under these circumstances, I would hesitate to let you go without any testing.”

“Okay,” Sam conceded easily, which was another sign to Janet of how exhausted she must be.

“And some blood work,” Janet added.

Sam scowled but nodded nonetheless.  On their way out of the mess, Sam grabbed an apple and two bunches of grapes, and ate them on the way.

Janet was just finishing Sam’s blood draw when SG-1 walked through the doors of the infirmary.  They looked sweaty and Daniel was sporting an enormous sunburn on his nose.

“Sam!” Daniel exclaimed coming straight towards her.

“Hot planet?” she asked, eyeing the sweat stains and red spots on his face.

“You have no idea.  Three suns,” Daniel answered, taking off his hat and holding out three fingers.

“Ouch,” Sam joked.

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” Jack greeted.  “I’m surprised to see you decided to join the other awakened creatures on this fine day,” Jack said awkwardly, shaking his shirt off his body to try to get air moving through his clothing.  Sam thought he looked just fine covered in sweat.  _Damn hormones_.

She rolled her eyes at his comment.  “It’s nice to see you all back in one piece.”

“Major Carter, I am much pleased to see you are no longer comatose, as O’Neill described you earlier,” Teal’c bowed slightly in her direction.

“Comatose?” she asked, looking at Jack.

“Oh, yeah,” he answered smirking.  “I was a little worried.”

“Actually, Sir,” Janet interrupted, “I was about to perform an ultrasound on Sam to make sure everything was okay.  I know you like to… participate,” Janet gestured vaguely with her hand.

“Yes!  I do,” he said quickly, looking at Sam to confirm her approval.

“You’ll have to get checked out first, but we can wait.”

Sam sat next to Jack on his infirmary cot and they chatted about their mission, all four of them like old times, plus Captain Griff, who Jack was currently “testing” out for the team.  Griff was the third in what he hoped would be a short list of tryouts.  So far Griff had lasted the longest, he neither peeved Teal’c, drove Daniel crazy, or bored O’Neill to death.

When they were done, Sam and Jack found her usual private room and Sam lay back on the examination table and lifted her black t-shirt. She undid her pants and pulled them down slightly to give Janet full access to her stomach.  Jack looked on proudly, there was something about knowing that he was the one responsible for doing this to her that made his blood rush and heat.

“Wow,” Janet said when she turned around and saw Sam’s exposed stomach for the first time.  “You sure are growing!”  Usually she wore her large BDU jacket to hide her condition around the base.

“I know,” Sam said uncomfortably.

“She’s also getting that black line,” Jack mentioned, running his index finger down the middle of her stomach, below her belly button.

“It’s called a linea negra,” Janet explained, “completely normal and will fade after the pregnancy.  It will actually continue to get darker until the birth.”

“Oh, isn’t that just lovely?” Sam said sarcastically, and Janet wanted to comment that she’d been spending too much time with the Colonel, but didn’t.  Their friendship was still raw, and if Sam was picking up on her future husband’s speech habits and personality, then so be it.

Janet felt around Sam’s stomach and placed the edge of her measuring tape at a certain point, then ran the tape down Sam’s middle, stopping near a point on her crotch.  She noted the number and her eyes widened.  She walked to Sam’s chart and looked at a few different pages.

“Wow!  According to this reading you’ve grown significantly from just two weeks ago,” Janet stated.

“I’ve been eating nonstop.  How much weight did I gain this time?” Sam asked.

Janet flipped a few more pages. “Six pounds.”

“What?  In just two weeks?” Sam breathed.

Janet shrugged.  “That’s not worrying, really.  Women gain weight differently at different times in the pregnancy.  But it does sound like this baby went through a major growth spurt this week.  Have you noticed any other changes lately?”

Sam pursed her lips and shook her head.  “Just a fatigue that never ends.”

“Her stomach itches,” Jack added, suddenly.

Janet smiled. “That’s normal and makes sense since she’s growing rather fast.  The skin is stretching so rapidly that it causes an itching sensation.  Some oil or lotion can help with that, just nothing too strong.”

“My appetite is the other thing.  Sleep and food are the only two things that matter to me at the moment,” Sam added.

Jack coughed and laughed.  He could think of another item she was quite interested in lately, but her murderous look kept him quiet.  Janet wasn’t fooled.

“It is quite normal to be, um… very sexually active at this stage, or so they tell me.  The hormones make it impossible to avoid.  And you’re even receiving additional hormones in your treatment,” Janet tried to lessen the awkwardness.

“I’m not complaining,” Jack was quick to add.

“Ok, can we please stop with the embarrassing conversation now?”  Sam spoke quickly without pausing.

Janet smile at Sam and winked at Jack.  Janet squeezed some jelly onto her probe and began the ultrasound.  She was indeed concerned about the measurement she had just taken of Sam’s stomach.  It was just too much of a growth stretch for a two-week period.  The first image that appeared was of a perfect, tiny foot.

“Awe,” Sam cooed.  “Jack, look!”

Janet laughed.  “Looks like I picked a good location to start.  Isn’t it amazing that you’re growing another human in your body?”

“It’s unbelievable,” Sam answered, her voice filled with wonder, and Jack squeezed her hand.

Janet went step by step, remembering the lessons she had taken from the ultrasound technician that had come in to perform Sam’s previous lengthy ultrasounds.  She had wanted to be prepared in the event she needed to examine the baby at a moment’s notice.  She measured the fetus from head to rump several times, then took head circumference and measurements of the tibias.  She frowned a few times, stood, and went for Sam’s chart.  She checked several pages, compared pictures, came back and measured the fetus from head to rump again several times.

“What’s up, Jan?” Sam asked, finally.

“Well, you’re 23 weeks pregnant, according to what Selmak was able to calculate that day with the device and with what we have measured so far with ultrasounds.  Two week ago, the baby was measuring a bit ahead of schedule, so at almost 22 weeks instead of 21,” Janet paused briefly to make sure the couple was following her explanation, and could see they were.  “Today, the baby’s measurements are at almost 28 weeks gestational development.”

“What?  How is that possible?” Jack asked, confused.

“Janet, how can that be?”  Sam propped her elbows on the examination bed.  “You’re telling me the baby grew 5 weeks in just two?”

“Um, yes, that’s what it looks like.”

Sam and Jack looked at each other, uncertainty and dread mirroring each other.

“Well, there’s no cause for concern yet,” Janet tried to appease them.  “As far as I can see, everything I scanned looks normal… the development looks good, the organs shaped nicely… it’s just happening a lot… faster than normal.”

“Which makes it _not_ normal,” Jack stated.

“Right,” Janet agreed.  “This pregnancy has defied all logic, at almost every step.”

“I hate the Tok’ra.”

“Janet, would that explain why I’m so exhausted all the time?”  Sam asked, ignoring Jack.

“It absolutely would.  This pregnancy is taking all of your energy.  I’m surprised you’re up and walking,” Janet answered.

“I have been really tired,” Sam reiterated.

“I’m going to call in the technician again and ask him to come make sure that the baby’s organs are developing properly, considering the speed we’re facing.  Honestly, no matter how much I drill Selmak on the contents of the serum, I still feel a bit in the dark about the contents.  There may be properties in it that are speeding up the normal gestation a bit, but that doesn’t mean it will be harmful.  You remember that after the first treatment, the baby did catch up rapidly on its stunted growth.  So… we’ve definitely seen this before.  In any event, I’m going to contact Selmak about this.”

“Jacob never gave me any indication that the pregnancy would be shorter than usual,” Jack said.

“Selmak never said that to me either, but don’t worry, I’ll contact them,” Janet assured the worried couple.

“I’ll do that,” Jack stepped in.

“Thank you, Colonel.”

“I think the serum needs to be adjusted.  It may be that the amount of human growth hormones being given is too high, or that Sam’s body is adjusting and may no longer need the extra messenger proteins at all.”

“Is the baby in danger?” Sam asked.

“I don’t think so, but I want to check all my options before we move forward,” Janet stated, rather diplomatically.

“Okay,” Sam said, lying back down.

“Okay,” Jack said also, following Sam’s lead.

                “Now, before I turn this machine off.  I know that Sam skipped on seeing the gender last time because you weren’t with her, Colonel, but I can see it now and confirm it from last time.  Do you want to know the sex of the baby?”  Janet asked, trying to lighten the mood in the room.

                “Yes!” Sam said immediately.

Jack smiled.  “Yes, we do, Doc.”

Janet moved the probe back to where she had seen the baby’s legs earlier.  She positioned the wand between the baby’s bent legs and found a good view of the baby’s bottom.  “There,” she said, pointing to the distinct additional appendage.

Sam gasped.  “Is that a...”

“Yes,” Janet assured her.  “That’s exactly what it is.  Congratulations, you two, you’re having a boy.”

“Oh, my god!” Sam whispered, a hand going to cover her mouth and her eyes glued to the screen.  Her view became blurry and she shook slightly with shock.  Suddenly, she remembered Jack, remembered Charlie, and turned her eyes from the screen to look at him.

His eyes were wide, focused on the picture that was now frozen on the screen, his hand clutching Sam’s.

“I’ll give you guys a minute while I phone the tech,” Janet said softly as she exited the room.

Sam waited a moment, her eyes fixed on him.  “Jack?” she said tentatively, breaking Jack’s eye lock with the screen.  “Are you okay?”

Jack looked at her in slow motion and nodded, very slowly.

Sam sat up and reached for the paper towels Janet had left behind, and started wiping her stomach of the gel that was now cold and sticky.  She put the paper down and moved her hands to cup Jack’s cheeks.  “Jack?”

He started at her touch, but soon focused and looked at her stomach.  With both hands, he touched her glistening belly, his large tanned hands contrasting with her pale skin.

Suddenly, Sam gasped.  “He kicked!” she said breathlessly, covering his hands with hers and guiding one of them to where the kick was felt.  The kicking wasn’t new to her, Sam had become used to them, but Jack had yet to feel one himself.  Jack’s eyes were huge, staring at Sam’s middle.

“A son,” he said, hoarsely.

“Yeah,” Sam answered wistfully, interdigitating her fingers over Jack’s on her stomach.  They waited but nothing happened.  Her hand still over his, Sam pushed Jack’s hand into her stomach a bit, poking at the spot where the baby had kicked.  Like he had listened to Sam’s inner command, the baby kicked back, right into their hands. 

“Sam!”

“I know!” she laughed.  “I know,” she said again, responding to Jack’s look of contentment and awe.

“This will bring back a lot of memories for you,” Sam braved saying after a long time had passed.

“Yeah,” Jack answered, still staring at her middle. 

“It hasn’t been that long since Charlie was a baby.”

“I know,” he said, then proceeded to move his hands over her stomach, until he lowered his head and kissed her belly, kissed their son.  Sam stroked his hair and allowed him space to be and do what he needed right now.

“I’m glad it’s a boy,” he spoke, finally looking Sam in the eyes.  “I wanted it to be a boy,” he whispered.

Sam smiled.  She also cried.


	19. Above Normal Part II

“You were right,” Selmak said to Janet as he deactivated the healing device he had used to scan Sam’s abdomen.  “The fetus is measuring around seven months, I’d say, well ahead of schedule.  Samantha, why didn’t you contact us sooner?”

“It’s not like I knew this wasn’t supposed to happen, Selmak.  I’ve never done this before, remember?” Sam said, annoyed, shifting on the examination bed in the infirmary.  She could feel how big she was getting, had seen the changes to her body.  But she had no experience to compare the growth to, and her pregnancy book had said growth spurts were normal.

“The baby is maturing and developing faster than he should be,” Selmak confirmed.

“But Selmak,” Sam interrupted, “surely this isn’t good. First the baby was slow to develop, now it’s fast? How is this any good for a baby?”

“You are right to be concerned, Samantha, but I have scanned your fetus well, and everything appears to be in order.  I will immediately make changes to your dosage of proteins and this should ensure that things normalize.  It will be a good time to also add O’Neill’s DNA to the serum, and this should help in the last few months,” Selmak took a step back from Sam.  “Remember that the Tok’ra have not experienced the pregnancy of a former host for quite some time, and we beg your patience with this matter.”

“Well, it’s not that simple, Selmak!” Jack jumped in, annoyed, his patience with the Tok’ra run thin.  “The life of my child is hanging on the balance of you getting your little cocktail right.  Meanwhile, Sam’s been dead on her feet supporting a rapidly progressing pregnancy and we have no idea what this is doing to her… or to him!”

“Cut it out, Jack,” Jacob’s voice cut in.  “Selmak’s doing everything she can.”

Jack looked down and tried to control his anger.

“Hi, Dad,” Sam greeted, an attempt to diffuse the tension between the two.

“Hey, Kiddo.  I’m sorry about all this,” Jacob leaned down and kissed his daughter. 

“Selmak’s sure everything’s ok?” Sam asked him when their hands were touching.

Jacob nodded and smiled.  “Everything looks great, Sammie.  And we saw… it’s a boy!  Are you going to name him after me?” Jacob looked on eagerly.

Sam grimaced awkwardly.  “Ah…”

Jacob laughed.  “I’m just kidding!” Sam exhaled in relief and Jack just rolled his eyes.  “Listen, it’ll take Selmak a few days to synthesize a new serum.”

“Okay,” Sam answered.

“Think that’s enough time to organize your, um, event?”

Sam and Jack looked at each other, they had talk about it, sure, but hadn’t made any definite plans.  “We just have to get Mark and Pat here,” Jack answered.

“What about a party?” Jacob asked.

“We don’t have to have a party,” Sam answered, feeling exhausted just thinking about having to organize a wedding dinner.

“What?  My little girl is getting married,” Jacob scowled at them both.  “I’ll be damned if there isn’t a proper celebration.”

“Dad,” Sam looked around the room, “people don’t exactly know about this.  We’re very happy it’s happening but I don’t exactly want everybody hunting for details.  It’s enough that I’ll be showing this much while getting married,” she touched her pregnant belly.  “I want to keep it small.”

“I can do small, Sam, but there’s gonna be a party,” Jacob informed them, both hands stretched in front of him. 

“What do you have in mind, Jacob?” Jack asked.

“Let me call a few people, see if it’s even an option, then I’ll see if its okay with you.  I may be old and have a two-thousand-year-old Tok’ra symbiote living inside of me, but I still have connections here on Earth.  That work for you, Sammie?”

“Yeah,” Sam said.  “What about the serum?” Sam asked again, still concerned about her baby.

“Well, I actually recommend that we don’t do a treatment for several weeks.  I’ll have Janet check you often, she can scan you again in a week too, but as far as your Earth techs and our Goa’uld technology can detect, your baby is as healthy as any Carter baby ever was, it’s just in a hurry to get out,” Jacob explained, trying to calm his daughter and bring some light to the stressful situation.

“Okay,” Sam said, sitting up.  “But please don’t go overboard with this party thing.”

“Yeah, okay… sure,” Jacob answered casually, winking at Jack.  When he was at the door, she called him back.

“Dad!”

“What, Sammie?”

“Fifty people, tops,” Sam said with a stern look.  “I’m serious.”

Jacob walked all the way back to his daughter and gave her a hug.  “You got it, kiddo.”

“I love you, Dad,” Sam said into the hug.

“I love you too, Sammie.”


	20. Above the Garden

Sam sipped from her steaming cup and drew the blanket tighter around her shoulders.  She let the cup sit between her hands while she inhaled the fragrant coffee and enjoyed the view.  It would be her only cup today and she was determined to savor it.  It was still early, too early for her to be awake, but she was too overcome by the beauty of this place to stay in bed, even considering her company.

She remembered the previous day, her wedding day, closed her eyes to force the memories to the front of her mind and relish the moments.  It had been special to have Pat help her get ready, take the place of her mother as she buttoned up her dress and clasped Sam’s pearls around her neck, the same pearls her mom had worn at her own wedding.  Jacob had come into the room and helped Sam don her ivory veil; he wasn’t even bothered by the tears that had run freely down his face.  He had proudly walked her down the middle isle of the small room at the Colorado Springs Country Club. 

Jacob had arranged everything in record time, and Sam wasn’t burdened with a single detail.  The room, though small, had been lit with candles and twinkle lights, and warm colors reminded everyone of the season outside, the Fall that was turning everything orange and red, making way for the dead of winter, a reminder to Sam and Jack of where this love affair had begun.  There had been round tables and chairs around the room, and the guests, 46 total, had sat at their tables and witnessed Sam and Jack exchange their vows at the front of the room, an Air Force Chaplain proclaiming them husband and wife.  Jack’s mother had been in attendance, and Jacob had charmed her as he sat next to her at dinner.  Even after his long career and now work with the Tok’ra, Jacob could be kind and endearing, a detail that surprised most of the guests.  He made a speech, from his spot at the table, declaring his pride over his daughter’s many accomplishments, and stating he believed her brightest one yet was the child that would arrive and change everyone’s world.  He wished every happiness to his daughter and new son, and everyone, with glasses raised high, cheered for the new couple.

Sam had laughed and cried.  She had a bouquet, but never tossed it; had a garter, but saved it for Jack to find later.  There was cake, but not the traditional white, only chocolate.  The guests had been select friends, family, and SGC staff.  Jack had been tall and handsome in his dress blues, Sam elegant in an ivory gown.  Her pregnancy was very evident and beautiful.  At 30 weeks, Sam had no reason to hide it, cover it.  Her dress highlighted the new form, the new life she carried, and her glow only added to the way jaws dropped as she was spotted by all entering the room.  Jack had licked his lips, swallowed, and locked eyes on her until the very end of the ceremony.  Sam smiled as she remembered his reaction, loved the way he adored her.

Jack opened the sliding glass door to the balcony and stepped outside to join her in the cool morning air, loved the way she was curled up watching the sun rise over the mountains and tall trees.

“Beautiful,” he said wistfully, but he didn’t mean the view.

“Isn’t it?  I just can’t get over the beauty of this place,” Sam answered quietly and Jack stepped over to sit next to Sam on the patio love seat.  She snuggled her back up next to him and he opened his broad shoulders to support her.  “Thank you for bringing me here,” she said.

“Thank you for marrying me.”

She laughed.  “I can hardly believe it all.  It seems like a dream, like I’ll wake up and none of this will have happened, not the ice planet, the baby, this…” Sam said while pushing back against his body and letting her head fall on his shoulders.

He placed her arm around her, supporting her large stomach, and pulled her back.  “When we can, when you feel well and it’s safe and the baby is here, I’m taking you on a proper honeymoon.”

“This is a proper honeymoon, Jack.”

“Three days isn’t enough, and not here…”

“We’re at the best hotel at the Garden of the Gods, Jack.  We have this incredible view, this amazing room, we’ve been hiking and swimming, and—”

“It is nice,” he conceded.

“Have you been here before?”

“Nope.”

“Mmm,” Sam noted as she watched new streaks of pink appear in the brightening skies.  Jack rubbed her middle in small circles.

“I want to go to the Cabin,” she spoke, suddenly.  “Let’s go spend some time at the cabin when things calm down.”

Jack grinned.  “Well, it’s about time you accepted an invitation.”

Sam laughed. “I can’t wait to see it.  I’ve always wanted to go.  I’ve always wanted to see it.”

Jack hummed, so glad to hear it.  “But you never could go,” he said.

“No,” she shook her head.  “It was too dangerous to even think about going to the cabin with you.”

Jack nodded.  “I understand completely,” he said, snaking a hand into her blanket and finding her wearing his wedding dress-shirt.  “You’ll love it.”

“Can we go hiking there?”

“Of course.  And fishing,” he waggled his eyebrows but she couldn’t see him.

“I’d like to go fishing, actually.”

“So would I,” he said, his hands getting bolder under the covers.

Sam hummed.  “You’re insatiable.”

Jack leaned down and kissed her neck, right at the point where her shoulders met her neck.  “and you’re completely addicting,” he whispered against her ear, then, sucked on the skin of her neck, his tongue flicking and sucking.  Sam leaned her head to the side to give him more access, enjoying herself fully, and moaned at the pleasure.  This would probably leave an embarrassing mark, but she figured she could buy a scarf at the gift shop.  The sensation of Jack’s mouth on her skin was too delicious for her to care about bruising, and this was her honeymoon after all.  He turned her so that she was facing him and was practically on his lap, and with his head still buried on her neck, began to unbutton her shirt. 

Sam’s coffee had already woken her, and now Jack was setting her on fire with his hands and mouth.  Her skin felt electric against the morning air as the blood in her body boiled under his mouth.  He set her coffee down as he opened the shirt completely and traveled down until he could take her breast in his mouth.  Sam helped him, guiding his head with her hand at that nape of his neck.  He spent enough time on her to make her pant and turn red from chest to cheek.  Then, he made his way back up, capturing her mouth with his in a sloppy and erotic kiss that made Sam fall back completely on the love seat, her legs spreading to accommodate his body in between hers, her own hands roaming his chest and strong back.  He climbed above her and pushed against her, but pulled back almost immediately.  Sam’s stomach was large enough now that their preferred position had become incredibly challenging.  They had made love this way the night before, their wedding night, but Jack had held himself up away from her as he thrust, not able to kiss her mouth, neck, or ears like he preferred.  The view was nice, he thought, getting to watch not only their bodies joined and in motion, but also Sam’s breasts bouncing with each forward motion, and her face contorted as she came.  She pushed further now against his chest and he climbed off of her, stood up.

“Do you need to be on top… go inside?” he asked, but wasn’t sure she could handle being on top right now either, her movements were off and difficult.  He should feel embarrassed but he wasn’t.  This was his wife; this was their honeymoon.

She shook her head and stood, her hair a mess and her look dazed.  “No,” she answered, pulling the blanket off the love seat and bringing it to the edge of the balcony.  She set it on the metal bar and took her shirt completely off, letting it fall on the floor.  She stood there, completely naked, her body contoured by the rising sun.  Their view was of the forest, the mountains, the gardens.  No one could see in their balcony, and she felt brave.  She turned, placed both hands on the rails and looked out at the stunning view.  Jack was frozen, his tongue three times its usual size, his body stiff and in pain.

“Are you coming?” she asked hoarsely, her head tilted to ensure that he could hear her.

He caught her meaning and in seconds had stepped out of his shorts, come to stand directly behind her, his hands going straight for her bare hips.

When she felt him behind her, Sam took the blanket and threw it around them both.  Jack understood her need for warmth and draped the blanket around himself and her, the two ends scrunched around her front.  She raised her hands to hold the blanket, and Jack resumed his treatment of her neck, while his left hand cupped her breast under the blanket, his right hand slid easily down her wet, aroused and swollen flesh.  The tips of his fingers were electric as he pulled up, and stroked back down.  She groaned lowly when he found a slow rhythm, and she had to let go of the blanket with one hand to steady herself on the railing with the other.  Jack moved his spare hand to her hip to help steady her, an “I got you,” whispered near her wet ear.  She continued to moan as he continued to stroke, and she found she had to open her legs further and bend her body forward slightly to keep some control.  He let her bend, let her slide her legs wider and settled between them, behind her.  He pushed into her backside, making her wetter as the sounds of her slick flesh could be heard over her moans. 

“Jack,” she said as her head fell forward to rest on her hand on the railing.  “I’m close.”

Jack assumed a better position behind her, and with some adjusting from both, was able to find the best angle to enter her from behind.  He slid easily inside her and they both groaned, the sensation sending Sam towards a new level of pleasure that was better than anything she felt before.  He started moving slowly, while keeping his rhythm on her with his right hand.  He tried to do both but kept faltering, his own pleasure a delicious distraction. 

“Faster,” Sam whimpered, and at the same time she let the blanket fall and swatted his hand away from its spot on her.  She pushed her ass further back toward him and he grabbed her hips on both sides, thrusting faster.  She replaced his hand with her own, rubbing her flesh in just the right spot as he thrust in and out of her.

“Harder,” she said boldly, and Jack obliged, a hand moving around her to lay on her stomach protectively, making sure his movements into her were not too aggressive for their child.  She cried out, her hand faltering, her legs shaking and her balance completely thrown off.  “Oh...,” she moaned.  “Oh!”

“Sam,” Jack groaned, pumping wildly into her, ignoring how loud he was.  She was finished, spent, pulsating with her head buried in her arms on the balcony railing, her backside pushed back while Jack held her tightly until at last he stopped, cursing, his pelvis pushed high into hers.  They breathed together, allowing their heartbeats to return to normal.

“I need to sit,” Sam said, spent.

He quickly moved out of her and helped her back to the chair, put the blanket over her and joined her on the love seat.  Sam snuggled into him, her breathing still fast.

“Can we order breakfast in today?  I feel like staying out on this balcony all day,” Sam spoke, her breathing still rapid.

“This balcony _is_ becoming more and more important to me as we speak.”

“Mmm, that _was_ really good,” Sam admitted.  “I actually never imagined it could be this good.”

“The sex?”

“Yeah.”

“I could,” Jack said easily, and remembered that there was nothing hotter than making love to a woman who was heavily pregnant with his child. There was nothing hotter than making love to a Samantha Carter, heavily pregnant with this child.  Absolutely nothing.  “I knew it would be, it _had_ to be.  After all we’ve been through, we deserve crazy, mad, passionate love.”

The sun was now all out, above the glorious mountains.  “I’m really happy, Jack.”

He exhaled loudly and hugged her tighter.  “You have no idea.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> Author’s Note: In an interview, when asked about what Sam and Jack’s relationship was like post retirement, Amanda Tapping answered, “Sleeping together…once he’s retired. Crazy, mad, passionate love. Way too much sexual tension for it not to pay off. Then, they’ll take it from there. Dating….Fishing….Dating…..” 


	21. Beyond Space

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tag to Season 4, Episode 22, “Exodus,” and Season 5, Episode 1, “Enemies.” – actually these are GREAT episodes if you feel like a little rewatch.  Go ahead, I’ll wait for you.
> 
> And thanks Sam-Jack-Always for the beta! xoxo

 

Hammond replaced the phone on its cradle and sat back in his chair; he hated having to give mediocre updates to his superiors.  He sighed deeply and wondered how much longer until Sam came back into his office demanding an update.  He simply didn’t have one.  SG-1 had embarked on what appeared to be a clean mission, to use Earth’s stolen Ha’tak vessel to aid the Tok’ra in relocating its population and Stargate to a safe planet.  Sam had engineered most of the job with the team, having only to stay behind for the actual mission.  Hammond had heard days ago that Apophis and his fleet had actually been near the planet Vorash, but after that the radio had gone dead.  It was another insane mission, and Hammond couldn’t believe that all of SG-1, including Jacob Carter and Selmak, were away from Sam.  Fraiser informed him just yesterday that Carter’s latest sonogram revealed the baby was at full term, and at only 34 weeks.  Even with no further serum injections from the Tok’ra, the pregnancy had continued to progress at an amazing speed, leaving Carter exhausted, cranky, and unable to fully participate in the base’s full activities.

He was pulled out of his jumbled thoughts when the sirens for an incoming wormhole blared in his office.  He stood, quickly, and made his way to the control room, where Harriman informed him he’d received a Tok’ra IDC.  Hammond prayed it would Selmak, would be SG-1, but when three unfamiliar Tok’ra representatives stepped through the gate, he pursed his lips and walked down to meet them, disappointment clear on his face.

“Welcome to Earth, I am Major General George Hammond, commander of this base.”

“Thank you,” the Tok’ra woman bowed her head slightly, “I am councilwoman Ren’al of the Tok’ra.”

“I assume you have news?”  Hammond asked.

“Yes,” she spoke.

“Please, follow me,” Hammond led them to through the base to his office and hoped he’d have enough time to receive the update before Major Carter showed up.  He’d sent her home but she had begged him to be allowed to stay, stating she couldn’t bear the thought of SG-1 needing technical assistance and her being away.  He had acquiesced but demanded she keep to her on-base quarters. 

“Well, what can you tell me?”

“We had two scout ships as close to the planet as safety permitted.  Sensors confirmed the star did go supernova as planned.  As far as we can tell, Apophis’ fleet was in close proximity when it happened,” Ren’al said.

“As far as you can tell?”  Hammond led her into his office.

“A blast of that magnitude blocks off sensors for some time, however, I can assure you, there’s no way for a mother ship to have survived.”

“And there’s been no communication from SG-1?”

“No.”

Hammond looked down solemnly just as Carter came stumbling through his door.

“Sir!”

“Major Carter, please wait until I am finished and I will—”

“Major Carter!” Ren’al interrupted, looking Sam up and down.  “I can see that you are almost at the point of birth.”  Sam was wearing black yoga pants and what looked like Teal’c’s BDU jacket, the sleeves rolled up several times at the arms, but Ren’al could see she was full with child.

“Where are they?” Sam breathed.

Ren’al and Hammond shared a look.  “Sam, please, let me finish with Ren’al and I will tell you everything when—”

“Are they in trouble?” she asked firmly, ignoring the insubordination towards her superior officer.

Hammond turned towards her, deciding that there wasn’t anything he could do to stop her from being in the room.  She had the right to know, and she might even be able to help with any ideas or future plans.  “Very well, but you will sit while Ren’al gives us details,” he said, giving her his own leather office chair, and choosing to stand.

“Major Carter, I was just informing your commander that your plan to explode the star worked.  Our scout ship indicated it went supernova at—”

“And my team?” Sam interrupted the Tok’ra woman, her face already red with dread.

Ren’al swallowed.  “Our scans did indicate a one-man pod escaped from Apophis’ ship, but we do not believe a mother ship could have survived the blast.”

Sam looked down, closed her eyes, tightened her hands around the leather chair until her skin turned white.

“We do not believe it was Apophis, otherwise he would have detected the explosion, and therefore should have evacuated his fleet, which he did not,” Ren’al said.

Sam opened her eyes and looked back at the woman.  “So who was it?”

“We do not know,” Ren’al said.  “There were also one, possibly two subspace distortions during the explosion that could be explained by ships attempting to enter hyperspace,” she paused, lowered her voice.  “Unfortunately, we do not think the ships were capable of entering hyperspace prior to the blast wave.”

At her words, Sam brought both hands up to cover her nose and mouth.  Seeing her physical reaction, Hammond picked up his phone and ordered Harriman to fetch Fraiser to his office.  This was quickly becoming a dark hour.

“I’m fine,” Sam tried to say, her mind going a million miles per hour.

“So you are saying SG-1 did not survive,” Hammond tried to confirm.

Ren’al looked down at Sam, then back up at Hammond.  “The possibility is extremely remote.”

“They entered hyperspace,” Sam said shakily.  “They had to.”

“If they had, they would have made contact with us by now,” Ren’al combatted.

“Maybe communications were damaged,” Sam was picking at straws, and she knew it.

“Major Carter, General Hammond, even if SG-1 has not survived, their brave actions have thrown the Goa’uld into chaos.  The remaining system lords will fight each other for years to come.”

Hammond nodded at the woman, who moved and came to stand directly in front of Sam.  “Major Carter, the Tok’ra have officially deemed Selmak a fallen war hero.”

“You’ll forgive me for holding out hope a little longer,” Hammond said sternly, not appreciating how the woman was upsetting Major Carter.  “SG-1 has a surprisingly good habit of beating the odds.”

“They have to be alive,” Sam added.  “This doesn’t make any sense.”

“In any case, Selmak left strict instructions with me in the event she and her host did not survive.  I was to return in a few weeks’ time to oversee the birth of your child, but I see now that perhaps I should stay and—”

“I won’t need your help,” Sam spoke coldly.  “Humans have been giving birth for a long time, I think we can handle it without you.”

“Even so, your physiology has been—”

“No,” Sam shook her head, standing.  “That’s it?  You just came here to tell us they’re dead?  What, you just borrow our ship for your little mission and when it goes FUBAR you just declare your people as war heroes?”

“Major Carter, stand down,” Hammond said, though he agreed with her.

“You have to go out and find them.  They could be out there… beyond space!” she said to Ren’al, then, turned to her commander.  “Sir, surely you don’t believe…”

“I am sorry, Major Carter.”

Sam bit her lower lip, and without waiting to be dismissed, fled the room.

sSsSsSsSs

Janet found her in the women’s restroom on level 27.  She was sitting on the floor, her hands buried in her head, sobbing.  Janet was shocked by the sight, but Hammond had informed her of what Sam had heard, and following the directions given by passing Airmen, located her quickly.  There weren’t any other pregnant and upset women running around the SGC.

“Oh, Sweetie,” Janet knelt in front of her, checked her pulse and measured her breathing as she assessed Sam’s body.  “Honey, you’re in a bit of shock,” Janet told her, “can I move you?”

“Jan,” Sam cried, lowering her hands so Janet could see her tear-stricken and blotchy face. 

“Oh, Sam,” Janet wiped at Sam’s face and looked deep into her eyes, assessing her pupils.  They were enlarged.  “Sam, you have to stay calm, for your baby.  This level of shock on your body could send you into labor, and I’m not sure we need that right now.”

Sam breathed in and out.  “The worse part of it is that if I weren’t this pregnant I’d be out there already, through the gate or finding a ship to steal and use or doing anything possible to find them!”

“I know, I know,” she said, touching Sam’s stomach and making sure it was still soft.  “I’m sure General Hammond and that Tok’ra woman are doing everything they can, Sweetie.  Now, I’m going to lift you and we’re both going to get up off this floor and find a place for you to lie down.”

Sam nodded, stopped crying long enough to look into her friends’ eyes and say, “Janet,” she waited until the doctor had stopped her fussing and was looking straight at her.

“Yes, Sam?”

“My husband, my father, and my best friends were on that ship.”

Janet crumbled inside, having no appropriate response.  She knew she had to get Sam away from this situation, away from this bathroom floor and this frame of mind, otherwise she’d be in trouble, and very soon.  “Right now, you have to focus on getting up.  Ready?”

There was already a wheelchair in the hallway outside of the restroom waiting for Sam.  She collapsed onto it, not caring who saw her in her anticipatory grief.  At Sam’s insistence, Janet wheeled her to the VIP quarters Hammond had given Sam use of, instead of the infirmary.  She instructed Sam to lay down on her left side, and told her to drink water.  Her blood pressure was high, and Janet was continually speaking to her, reminding her to try to stay calm.

“Is that Tok’ra woman still around?”  Sam asked, having become quite calm, her mode of survival taking over her emotional state.

“Yes, why? Do you need her?”  Janet asked, taking the blood pressure cuff off of Sam’s arm.

“No… just wondering,” Sam said, turning to lie on her back.

“Don’t lie on your back!” Janet said quickly.

“Jeez, Janet,” Sam froze.  “Why the hell not?”

“I’ve told you… you’re too big now, the pressure can cut off some of the blood flow from the vena cava and frankly, you don’t need that right now.” 

“Yeah, yeah…” Sam answered with a bit of attitude.  She turned back onto her side and sighed.  “She seemed so convinced that the ship didn’t make it,” Sam said, her vision frozen on a spot near the wall.

Janet sat on the other side of the bed, righted the pillow so she could lean on the headboard and keep Sam company.  They let the room go silent for a while, Sam breathed in and out quietly and Janet could see her mind working a mile a minute.  “Cassie won another chess tournament,” she told Sam, trying to change the subject and take her mind off the situation.

“Really?  At school?”

“Yep.  District championship.  You should have seen her face when she said the words, ‘check mate.’  She was beaming.”

Sam smiled.  “That’s wonderful.  I really do miss seeing her.  I’m sorry I’ve been preoccupied with my… new life.”

Janet frowned.  It didn’t seem that she could avoid letting Sam dwell on her loss after all.  “Hey, now, I completely understand.  Newlyweds need their time… and I know you’ve also been consumed with sleeping and growing this baby.”

Sam chuckled, but her lips never parted.

“What?” Janet asked.

Sam waited a moment, revealed what it was she and Jack had been truly consumed with: “Jack and I have a lot of sex.”

Janet raised both eyebrows; she had no idea where this had come from, and Sam was just lying there, her look still dazed, lost, her hands limp by her head.   “Okay… that’s good.”

“At first, I thought it was just the pregnancy, the hormones… but now I think it’s almost like we’re trying to catch up on lost time.”

Janet laughed, although uncomfortably.  “Wow, that’s… TMI.”

“You asked.”

“I’m sorry I did.”

“Oh, please.  Don’t give me that crap, Janet.  You’ve been chomping at the bit to get details ever since you found out I was pregnant,” Sam said, no filter and no patience for anything at the moment.

Janet sighed, knowing Sam was right.  They were quiet a long while and Janet watched as Sam stroked her stomach adoringly.  “So, it’s _that_ good?”

Sam smiled.  “It’s pretty incredible.  Actually, most of living with Jack is pretty incredible,” she propped herself up on her shoulder and looked at Janet.  “When I met him, all those years ago, I thought it would just be terrible to be around him all the time.  I mean, we’ve been attracted to each other from day one, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t know… I guess I pictured older, crabby and set in his ways, you know?  Then through the years, as I got used to working with him, being with him, I just,” Sam paused wistfully.  “I just admired him, respected the hell out of him,” she sat up completely and struggled to bring her legs under herself.  “I probably fell in love with him the first year but could never admit that to myself.”

“You weren’t allowed to admit that to yourself,” Janet reminded her.

“Yeah.  But I still thought about it, thought about what it would be like to be with him, to live with him.  I guess in my mind he was supposed to be in control all the time, demanding, intense…”

“And he’s not?”

“Oh, Jack’s always intense, always.  But he’s easy to be around, easy to live with.  We’re pretty different from one another, and he has annoying things about him, sure.  But for the most part, I’m actually shocked that it’s the most satisfying relationship I have ever been a part of.  I mean, it’s not just that we are having a child together and chose to get married,” Sam looked around the room, moving her eyes up and around in an attempt to find the right words, the right explanation.  “I feel like I’m living this great romance, Janet.”

“Wow,” Janet exhaled.

“And I cannot accept that he’s gone.”

“We don’t know that he is.  SG-1 has always performed miracles.  I need you to believe he’s going to walk back through that door.  You have to, for the sake of your son.”

Sam looked down at her stomach and draped her arms around it, protecting it from a future without Jack O’Neill.


	22. Beyond Distance

At lot had happened in the past few days for Jack O’Neill.  He was beyond pissed, and beyond tired of being away from Sam.  He had been reluctant to go in the first place, not wanting to leave Sam by herself, but the show had to go on, work had to be done, and besides, Hammond had ordered it.  He thought about her now, wondered how she was, missed her terribly.  And now he was on a Goa’uld mother ship, locked in a cell, billions of lightyears away from her.

“I cannot believe I’m imprisoned in a Goa’uld room with you three!” he said heatedly.

“Hey!  I told you,” Daniel bit back, “we had no way of knowing Teal’c would ever go all ‘first prime’ again.  I mean, come on!”

“Jack, Daniel’s right.  This whole mess is nobody’s fault,” Jacob tried.

“Jake, you of all people know that the two of us need to get out of here.” The team had been stranded in an unknown galaxy, and Jack had previously yelled at Jacob that he better figure out a way to get home; he didn’t have a hundred years to travel back to Earth, his son was due in just six weeks, and he’d be damned if he missed it.

“Sam will be fine, Jack, and no one could have known that the replicators were in this galaxy, or that Teal’c had been brainwashed,” Jacob said, tired of O’Neill’s attitude.  “Besides, who’s being negative now?”

Daniel and Griff moved away, started investigating a door panel.  Jacob took a chance, walked over and slid down the wall closest to Jack.  He sat down right next to him, watched as he played with a yo-yo he had produced from his back pocket. 

“You gonna be okay, Jack?”

“Yeah,” Jack answered quietly.  “I’m just worried about Sam.”

“Understandable.  She has a way of making people want to be around her.”

Jack tried to breath easily, but found he couldn’t.  “She’s gotten beneath my skin, Jacob, beneath everything.  I have to get back home,” Jack exhaled again.  “I’m thinking after all this it may be time for me to _stay_ home.”

“You mean permanently?”

“I’m thinking about it,” Jack bounced his yo-yo rather forcefully, the string slipped off his finger and the yo-yo flew across the room.  Daniel and Griff looked back at him but tried to ignore the outburst.  “Jacob, how do you stay so calm?”

He shrugged.  “I don’t think that throwing a fit right now is going to help the situation.”

Just as he said it, the doors to the cell opened partially, and a replicator crawled in.

sSsSsSsSs

“Shit,” Janet heard from inside the bathroom.  They were still in the VIP quarters, Sam had rested a few hours, and Janet had just allowed her a laptop to do work, when Sam had said she needed to use the restroom rather suddenly.

“Sam?” she moved towards the closed door.  “Honey, what’s wrong?”

“Janet, open the door.”

Janet opened it immediately, and saw Sam sitting on the toilet, looking horrified.

“Jan, my water just broke,” she was holding the wall with her right hand, her legs shaky, fear etched on her every feature.

“Are you sure?”

Sam nodded.  She’d never experienced it before but she had been done peeing and felt an enormous gush of water.  “Absolutely.  I felt a gush of water and… it’s still leaking out.”

“It’s okay, Sam.”

“Janet, it’s too soon!”

“Sam, it’s not!  The baby is measuring at full term.  We were expecting this, remember?”

“But not now!” Sam cried out.  “Jack’s not even here!”

“I know that, Honey, but the baby is coming, we need to get you to the infirmary to get checked out.  Can you walk?”

“Of course I can walk,” Sam said, aggravated.

“Ok, I need to call Dr. Morrison.”

“You’re not leaving me, are you?” Sam whipped her head back up and looked mortified.

“Sam, of course not!” Janet came back towards her.  “But I’m not… that experienced in this and we need Dr. Morrison here.  That’s not an option.”

Sam wiped, stood up.  “Janet, I feel like I’m still leaking,” she said, disgusted.

“Yep.  Just wrap a towel around yourself for now.  You’re about to discover how the miracle of birth is a bit, well, messy,” Janet helped Sam back towards the room.

Sam did as she was told, shrugging her pants to the side and wrapping a towel around her bottom half.  She considered having to walk the hallways like this.  “Seriously, Jan.  Can’t I just stay here?”

Janet shook her head.  “Absolutely not.  Under normal circumstances I’d have no problem letting you have a child in your own home, even.  But you and I both know this pregnancy has thrown us enough curve balls that I want you in the infirmary where everything is set up for whatever we might need.” Seeing Sam’s disappointed look, she added, “How about we stay here until Dr. Morrison arrives, okay?”

“Thank you,” Sam answered, clearly relieved, and as she lay back on the bed, the first of her labor pains hit her.  Afterwards, when the grimace had left her face and she realized what had happened, she closed her eyes and said, “Oh, boy, this is really going to suck.”

sSsSsSsSs

                “What just happened?” Jack asked as his head was thrown back suddenly.  They had made it to a room with access to a Goa’uld computer, the gold shine and pomp everywhere.

“The mother ship just entered hyper speed,” Jacob answered, looking down at the Goa’uld console in front of him.  “The replicators are heading towards Delmak, which is where Apophis was headed before.  It’s in our galaxy,” Selmak explained.

“But it’ll still take us a hundred years to get there,” Jack reminded them.

“No.  They’ve modified the power... somehow.  We’re flying at ten times the ship’s normal top speed.”

“How is that possible?” Griff asked.

“And it’s still increasing… twenty times, thirty,” Jacob said smiling, watching the numbers change on his console.

“The replicators can do almost anything.  They’re very advanced.  The individual blocks can come together to form whatever pattern they need to achieve their goals,” Daniel taught Griff.

“This is great news!” said the unexperienced Griff. “We’ll be home in our own galaxy and we can jump ship when we get there.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call that _great_ news,” Jack spoke crouched near the ground, on the lookout for Apophis or replicators.

“We can’t let the replicators get a foothold in our galaxy.  These things are relentless, even the Asgard haven’t been able to stop them,” Jacob told him.

“But you stopped ‘em before,” Griff said.  “On Thor’s ship.”

“Sam did that, and if you hadn’t noticed… she’s not exactly here,” Jack said with more attitude than was needed.

Griff rolled his eyes.  “I read the report, though.  She destroyed the deceleration drive just before the ship entered Earth’s atmosphere.  The bugs couldn’t withstand an uncontrolled re-entry.”

Jack and Jacob looked at each other.  Jack was lost, but Jacob had a million ideas forming in his head.

“These motherships use sub-light engines to slow down after entering hyperspace.  If we destroy the sub-light engine controls—”

“Then the ship won’t be able to stop,” Griff finished for him.

“And it’ll crash right into Apophis’ planet.”

Jack stood, put his weapon down and grabbed the new SG-1 scientist by the arms.  “Griff, you’re brilliant, man!”  He said, squeezing his upper arms again for good measure.  O’Neill’s attitude was completely changed.   He suddenly realized he was still touching the Captain, and let go awkwardly.  Taking two steps back, the rubbed his hands together.  “Now, how do we destroy the sub-light engines?”

Griff raised both eyebrows.  “We blow stuff up, Sir.”

Jack drew his head back, turned to look at the others in the room.  “Nice!”

“Ah, guys…” Daniel interrupted, “we’re now at 800 times the ship’s maximum speed.”

They all shot up, zipping up vests and arming weapons.

“Let’s get going, folks.  We’re gonna be there soon,” O’Neill called out.


	23. Beyond Everything

SG-1 had left on a Ha’tak and come back on a mother ship, so when they re-entered Earth’s airspace, the powers that be warded them off from landing on the Ha’tak’s landing pad at Area 51.  They were commanded to keep the ship in orbit, and to stay cloaked, but Jack had already received the communication that Sam was in labor, and he’d be damned if he was just going to cruise around earth’s atmosphere and take a nap.  Hammond authorized the team the use of the Goa’uld platform rings at Area 51, and Jack ran over nearly every personnel in his haste to get to the aircraft that would rush him back to Cheyenne mountain.  The trip was supposed to take 90 minutes, but the pilot saw how eager and flushed the colonel had been, and all Jack had to say was “wife’s in labor,” for the airman to shave nearly 25 minutes off the trip.  “Wind’s good today,” the pilot said, grinning at Jack. 

When he arrived on base, he passed several airmen who smiled at him.  Jack thought that perhaps he and Sam had kept things under wraps, but the looks he kept getting as he ran down the hallways of the base were knowing and proud, not confused.  He skidded to a halt when he reached the infirmary outer doors and saw Hammond, sitting on a rickety chair outside.

“Sir?” he asked, panicked.  Hammond was the General, the man, he only sat outside the infirmary when something serious was happening, when someone was dying.

Hammond saw Jack and stood, smiled.  “Calm down, Jack! Everything’s fine!  Where’s Jacob?”

Jack pointed down the hallway, “He’s…” He suddenly remembered he had no idea where Jacob was, had not waited for his father-in-law in his haste to get to Sam.  He hoped now that the misdoing wouldn’t come back to bite him in the ass.  “Actually, Sir, I have no idea.  Where’s Sam?”

“She’s right through the infirmary, Son, in her usual room,” he said calmly.  “She’s doing fine or so I’m told by the staff every few hours.”

“If she’s fine then why are you sitting here?” Jack asked, dumbfounded, relieved to hear she was okay.

Hammond looked oddly at Jack.  “What do you mean, what am I doing here?  I’m keeping watch.  That’s what grandparents do during these things, Colonel.”

Jack pounded George on the chest proudly and ran into the infirmary, “Thanks, George!”

The infirmary was quiet, the lights slightly dimmed, and Jack was thankful because he knew Janet had done this, made sure Sam had a quiet and peaceful place to bring their child into the world.  Their child, he thought, becoming overcome with the final steps towards her room, faltering with the feeling of it all, the way his heart hammered on and he could feel it pumping through the big vein in his neck.  He knocked lightly, put his ear against the door to hear a response.  Everything was quiet, except for a faint, “come in,” in Janet’s voice.  He placed his large hands on the door handle and in doing so looked down at his body.  He drew in his breath as he noticed how dirty he was, remembered that it had probably been two days since he showered.  He tilted his head down a bit and sniffed at his shirt, then shrugged when he didn’t smell anything too terrible, or perhaps he had become immune to the smell after so many days.  He was sure Sam might not appreciate his unkempt state during this, her shining moment.  He turned the knob, pushed the door open slowly, having no idea what he was about to see.

The room was fully lit, and Jack noticed immediately how the wall closest to him was filled with equipment, all lined against the wall.  It was all medical stuff with unknown purposes, probably stored there in the likelihood they might be needed when the time came.  He did notice a small rectangular bed with what looked like a warming lamp on top, and he knew immediately it was a medical cot for the baby, his baby, once it was born.  He moved his eyes around the silent room and spotted the bed, but it was empty, the sheets ruffled and the pillows missing.  He followed the arch of the room towards the right of the bed, and saw that one of those screen dividers had been brought in, placed against the corner of the room.  Suddenly, Janet appeared from behind it, and smiling, gestured that he come toward her. 

“She’s here, Sir,” Janet whispered, “welcome back.”

Jack’s eyes widened and he walked toward Janet, moving quickly behind the screen to see his wife, crouched on the ground, her head buried on a pillow.  The relief at seeing her was immediate, and Jack exhaled a large breath he didn’t know he was holding.  He heard Janet whisper again.

“She’s done beautifully, Sir, you should be very proud,” Jack looked up and met Janet’s eyes.  “She’s 90 percent effaced and the baby’s head is sitting nicely at the birth canal.  Her contractions are currently coming every minute and a half, and I believe she should be completely dilated and ready to push within the hour.”

Jack’s eyes widened.  “How long has she been… doing this?” he gestured to her form on the floor.

Janet smiled and wiped at her forehead.  “She’s been in labor for close to 15 hours, Sir, which is normal for her first birth,” Janet saw the worry etched on the man’s face.  “She was… very distressed with the news from SG-1, and I’ve never seen a woman draw so much strength and control from a situation that honestly could have crippled her.  We told her you were alive and on your way a little over an hour ago.  That’s when labor really started to progress rapidly.  Sir, I think she was somehow delaying all of this for you.  Her mental concentration through this whole thing has been… phenomenal.”

Jack looked down at his wife, who appeared calm and clueless of his presence.  “Thank you, Janet,” Jack said sincerely.

“I’ll go give Dr. Morrison an update, now that you’re here.”

Jack watched Janet go and turned towards his wife.  The corner of the room had been transformed into some sort of birthing sanctuary.  There was a rug on the floor, and as Jack looked closely he noticed it was her rug, from her bedroom, the one she kept at the foot of her bed.  He remembered it clearly because he often tripped over it and had complained about it a few times, only to receive a pointed look from her.  He wondered what had led to it being brought here, wondered how far she had gone to seek familiarity and comfort, wondered also who had helped her with the set up.  A lamp was positioned in the corner where wall met wall, giving off a soft glow, and Sam was in the middle, her knees on a pillow on the rug, her head and upper body draped over four or five other pillows, her large stomach hanging between her legs and the floor.  Above her head, a sturdy wooden chair was set up, another pillow on top.  Now that he looked, there were pillows everywhere, three more near the wall, two others at her foot.

“Sam,” he crouched down and called out, but she never moved.  He wondered if she was resting, sleeping, but remembered Janet’s words that her contractions were at almost every minute, and doubted she could be enjoying any state of rest.  He slowly placed a hand on her shoulder, and she moved immediately, her head coming up and her tired eyes landing on his face.

“Jack!” she raised herself on all fours and Jack met her, his right hand wiping the sweaty hair off of her forehead and then cupping her cheek.  “Thank God,” she said loudly.  “Oh, thank you, God,” she repeated over and over again.  Then, she suddenly closed her eyes, lowered her head on a long and low moan, and Jack noticed she had ear buds in, hot pink ones.  She grimaced, raised her upper body and grabbed a hold of the wooden chair, her knuckles turning white and her moan becoming a grunt.

“Sam, baby, what can I do?” Jack tried, but now could hear the song blaring from her ear buds, so he slowly pulled one out of her left ear while she moaned again, a deep screech that came from her throat.  “Sam,” he tried again, “tell me how I can help you.”

She didn’t turn towards him, didn’t answer, just continued to grimace, but nodded her head letting him know she had heard him.  “Oh…” she said very quietly, and then started to pant, small puffs of air escaping out of her mouth, and Jack was entering desperation, seeing his wife in obvious pain and not having any clue as to what to do.  They hadn’t attended any birthing classes and he hadn’t been present for Charlie’s birth; he felt lost, dumb, and small.  She stopped panting, instead inhaling deeply and letting out the air again in a slow, controlled way, like she had been doing this the entire time.  Slowly, she brought one arm back down from the chair to the floor, and then the other, arranged the four pillows again in front of her, and leaned her upper body on them, letting her head fall onto the soft bed, her face turned toward Jack, her eyes half lidded in exhaustion.

“This is hard,” she breathed out.

“Sam, honey, how are you doing this?” he asked her, “How do you even know what to do?”  He crouched down to her, placed his face near hers and looked deeply into her eyes.

“I missed you,” she got out.

He smiled, kissed her.  “I missed you too.”

“Thanks for coming back,” she said, and though it sounded like she was joking, she was dead serious.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been here,” he stroked her head and she closed her eyes.  “Janet says you’ve been amazing… she said you’ve been incredible,” he tried to encourage her.

“I hate this,” she said honestly.  “It hurts like hell, Jack.”

“I’m sorry,” he told her.  “Shouldn’t you be on the bed?  Won’t that be more comfortable?”

She shook her head.  “My back’s killing me,” she told him.  “Feels much better down here and--” she paused, locked her lips and slowly, resumed her position on all fours, raising her head and torso off the floor.  “Shit,” she cursed, closing her eyes in concentration and resuming her pant.

“Sam, I don’t think it’s been—”

“Hello, Colonel,” said Dr. Morrison from the other side of the room, “I’m so glad you can be here to help Samantha out for the last bit, though I might recommend a quick shower.”

“Hi, Doc,” Jack said, acknowledging the doctor as he rubbed small circles on Sam’s back but wondered if he was making the situation worse.  She looked desperately in pain.  “I don’t think the last contraction was but a minute behind the one before.”

“I can see that.  They were a minute apart,” the doctor said, and when Jack looked up, he noticed the doctor was reading a screen that was near the wall.  Jack hadn’t noticed these details when he walked in, but he took them in now, the chords that seemed to be connected to Sam in odd places and were running in unison down the floor and connecting to a long pole and computer, stood tall near the good doctor.  “I hope you don’t mind me saying again, Colonel, but I’d feel more comfortable if you ran and took a really quick shower, washed your space dirt off yourself before you meet your son.”

Jack looked down at himself, took stock of his filth once again.  “Go ahead,” he heard Sam say, and looked at her, relaxing again as her contraction had subsided.  “Just promise to come back quickly,” she begged.

“I will,” he kissed her forehead, “I promise.”

While Jack was gone Dr. Morrison checked Sam’s cervix again.  She was tired of the whole thing and told him to just do it as she knelt there on the floor.  He obliged, being familiar with women in labor and their behavior, knowing exactly what to say and how to say it. 

“Doctor Fraiser was right, Sam,” Morrison said.

“She usually is,” Sam quipped, wondering when exactly her vagina had become a familiar place for all manner of people to feel up. 

“I think it’s safe to say that you’ll be ready to start pushing in the next thirty minutes.”

“I told you I’ve felt like pushing for the past hour,” Sam whined, “Oh,” she moaned, gripping the wooden chair again and adding, “If a pregnant woman says she wants to push,” she panted, grimaced, “then you should fucking let her push!” her face was red, her head lowered in concentration as she quickly sucked in air and pushed it back out, puffing quickly, thinking only of how close she was of being finished with this.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Morrison answered, accustomed to how colorful laboring women’s language could be, honestly glad to see the feistiness in the Major after her composure and even temperament during the past dozen hours.  “You’ll continue to feel like you should push, but don’t, not until you’re completely dilated, okay?”

Sam ignored him and lowered her head completely, put her headphones back in her ears.  She worked through a few more contractions, breathing through them like Morrison had coached her to do, but she felt like she was losing ground.  She was exhausted, completely spent from the hours of feeling her body contract and pain grip her from the inside out.  She swallowed as she felt another contraction coming on, and lost her composure completely, tears spilling down her cheeks.  The pain was getting more intense, almost unbearable, and she regretted her decision to forgo numbing drugs.  Janet had advised her that she could safely receive an epidural, Morrison had explained to her the level of pain she would experience, but in the end she had opted for no epidural, feeling pressure from within to do this well, to do it right, to do it without help.  “Idiot,” she said to herself as she cried, bent over her own body on the floor, her face red and her jaw hurting from grinding her teeth together instead of panting like she was supposed to.

Jack came into the room and saw her, knew immediately that something was wrong.  Quickly he went to her, knelt behind her and gathered her form to himself as much as he could.  “Sam,” he said calmly, “breathe.”

At his voice and touch Sam inhaled, some of the redness leaving her face.  She pulled the earbuds out of her ears and Jack could hear Aerosmith blaring through the buds.  “I can’t do it anymore, Jack,” she sobbed, leaning her back against him, pushing up against him, panting. 

“Yes, you can,” he said calmly, and he pulled her back closer to himself, until she was squatting between his open legs, all of her weight falling on him.  He held her from behind, and her forearms were holding onto his tightly, her head leaned back so that their heads were touching.  The change in position relieved Sam greatly, and she felt comforted and safe.  When the contraction passed, she calmed, stopped crying and wiped at her face.  This was familiar to her, the two of them on the floor.  She inhaled his scent, soapy and clean, and relished his nearness.  Here, on the floor and on the rug, in the corner of the room, she remembered how their relationship had started, on a corner and a floor similar to this one, on a planet full of ice, beneath the surface, beneath their true selves, beneath everything.  She loved this man more than anything, but right now she didn’t think she could keep going.

“I’m so tired already,” she told him near his face.  “The worst part is keeping myself from pushing.  I need to push, Jack.”

“You are doing great, Sam,” he ran his hands down her stomach and was amazed at how the human body worked, how instinct and nature worked together to make Sam know what she was supposed to do.  “You are doing an incredible job,” he encouraged her.  She hissed and he could feel how her stomach all of a sudden turned to stone, hardening under his hand.  He couldn’t believe the physical effect of the contraction on her body, was mesmerized by how his wife was handling this, took stalk of the fact that there had only been a twenty second break between contractions.

“Doc!” he called out, even as Sam screamed this time through her pain.  “Only 20 seconds apart!”

“I’m here, Colonel,” Janet said, appearing magically in front of him.  “After this contraction, we want her back on the bed.  Can you help her up?”

“Ahh, Janet, it’s worse!” Sam cried.  “I have to push!”

“We know, honey, it’s time now,” she knelt on the floor.  “Doctor Morrison is geared up and once this one is over we’re going to move you.  After that, we’re going to let you push.”

Sam puffed air quickly, nodding at Janet and returning to her meditative state, the tears forgotten now that the go ahead had been given.  As soon as the pain was gone, she opened her eyes and said to Jack, “Now!  Move me now!”  He stood, standing her with him and she grabbed on to him and Janet’s arms.  She took a step forward but her legs felt like jelly, and then she was in Jack’s arms, the feeling familiar and comforting, and as he deposited her on the bed, she felt reluctant to let him go.  He left only long enough to retrieve her many pillows, and he stacked them quickly behind her, helping her to sit up as much as she could.  She took the flimsy hospital gown off, not wanting to be bothered by it anymore, and wore only her blue tank top, so she could see what would happen.  Without having to be told, Sam lifted her legs and placed them on the stirrups she saw near Morrison’s head.

“Samantha, look at me,” the doctor said.

Sam locked eyes with him immediately.  “At the next contraction, I want you to push as hard as you can, like you’re—”

Before he could finish, she was pushing, her nostrils flared and her face scrunched up in pain.

“Good, that’s perfect,” he instructed.  “Keep pushing, wait to breathe…”

Jack couldn’t keep up with what was happening.  It was all too sudden and he couldn’t believe what Sam was doing.  She was huge, her stomach had the appearance that she had swallowed a watermelon, and she was naked on this bed, her legs spread like she would only do for him, a doctor staring and touching, her face red and contorted in pain, her knuckles white as she crushed his own hand in her agony.

“Colonel, are you gonna make it here?” Janet said to him from across the room, noticing his panic.  “You’re looking a little pale.  I don’t need a husband passing out right now.”

Sam opened her eyes and looked at Jack.  “Oh, for crying out loud!  You’re not leaving, Jack, I need you here.”

“I’m fine!” he looked straight at her, “I’m fine and I’m not leaving, Sam, I’m right here!”

She fell back onto the pillows, exhausted, taking the brief respite to breathe and lie back.  “How long is this gonna take?” she yelled heatedly at the doctor.

“Are we in a hurry?” Morrison said from between her legs.

“No, but we are in pain,” Sam snipped at the man, entirely fed up and done with the excruciating pain she was experiencing.  Jack chuckled and Sam squeezed his hand tighter.

“Your father, General Carter, would be so proud, Samantha,” Jack smiled at her.

“Easy, there, Sam,” Janet said from her other side, hiding her own chuckle.  “The baby has to make his way through the birth canal, you’ll have to push him the whole way.”

“Oh, god!” she said as the next contraction hit and she pulled herself back up, grabbing one of her legs and Jack’s hand, and pushing with all of her might.

Sam labored for the next fifteen minutes, pushing with each contraction.  She had learned the routine, push hard for several seconds without breathing, draw breath, push again, and rest.  She was relatively quiet, unless the pain hit her suddenly and she would yelp and moan, but her concentration on her task was astonishing.  Jack was at her side, placing a cool rag on her forehead, whispering encouragement and endearments.  He’d told her about Apophis, the replicators, about the team being safe, about her Dad being somewhere between Nevada and Colorado Springs, but that he wasn’t sure where.

She screamed out, pulling up and bearing down on herself, forceful in her push, the pain overwhelming.  “Janet, it feels… it’s burning,” she panted, tears rolling down her cheeks as she took a moment to breath in between pains.

“Look down, Sam,” Janet said.

Sam did, but all she could see was her round stomach.  “I can’t see,” she shook her head.

Janet took Sam’s hand from its spot on her leg and guided it between her legs.  “Feel it,” she instructed her.

Sam followed Janet’s instructions and felt between her legs, felt her son’s head, felt hair and life.  Her eyes widened in wonder.

“At the next contraction, Sam,” Morrison said, “this is it.”

Sam nodded and looked at Jack.  He was white, his eyes huge and watching the head that was emerging from her body.  She couldn’t tell if he was disgusted or shocked, happy or terrified, but then he looked at her, and his face lit up, smiling towards her with a light she couldn’t describe.   “Sam,” he said, “this is the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen.”

She wanted to talk to him, really she did, but the next pain was the worst one she had felt yet, and she screamed loudly, using the sound in her shout to spur her into pushing harder and with more power than before.  Her scream turned into a throaty groan as she felt pain and burning and her child slipped from her body and was delivered into Doctor Morrison’s waiting hands.  She exhaled, spent, and fell backwards on the bed.

The baby was plopped unceremoniously onto a blanket that had been laid on Sam’s stomach.  Janet wiped at the baby’s head while a nurse that had appeared from nowhere sucked fluid from the baby’s mouth and nose with a clear hose.  The baby yelled, a screeching cry.  When she heard it, Sam’s shocked and teary face smiled and her body shook with happy tears.  Janet continued to wipe, now at the baby’s stomach and legs, removing the blood and fluid from his skin, and Sam’s hand was on him as she cried.  The nurse took the soiled blanket away and Janet quickly took the naked baby and raised him higher so that Sam could hold him, his newborn cry filling the room.  Sam held on and put him near her chest, and Janet covered the tiny form with a blanked.  Sam looked down at the baby then back up at Jack, whose face was also wet, and his expression was marked with eagerness, and joy, and inexplicable wonder.

“Sam, we need to let Dad hold the baby now, okay?  You’re still not finished,” Morrison said from between her legs.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Sam said, remembering the bit about having to deliver the placenta.  “This is so not fair,” she said, looking at Jack and letting someone else hand him the baby.  “All you had to do was have sex.”

A final contraction hit her as she passed the baby to Jack, and she couldn’t watch as he laid eyes on his child for the first time.  The Doctor told her to push one last time and she did, delivering the afterbirth and finally settling back onto her pillows, catching a glimpse of her family out of the corner of her eye.  Jack was standing near her, his eyes huge and glued to the baby, a slight bounce in his step as he cradled his son.  The nurse came to him and told him he had to give the baby up, something about measurements and basic cleaning.  He pouted but gave up the bundle, turning back to Sam.  He walked the three steps to her bed and fell into a tight hug, kissing her lips passionately. 

“He’s beautiful, Sam.  He’s absolutely beautiful,” he said near her face.  She smiled tiredly and enjoyed what he was saying.  “You did amazing, I’m so proud of you.”

“Eight pounds, two ounces,” the nurse called out, “Twenty-two inches long!”

“Wow!” Morrison said, and Jack was shocked to see the man was still in between his wife’s legs.

“Ah, you almost done there, Doc?” he asked awkwardly.

The doctor laughed.  “Don’t worry, Colonel.  Just finishing up the clean up here so your wife can rest.  She deserves it after all the work she did.”

“Don’t you forget it,” Sam chimed in, her eyes closing.  “What color are his eyes?”

“I have no idea,” Jack said as the doctor finally lowered Sam’s legs from the stirrups, covered her lower half in a blanket, and Janet asked to raise her so they could remove her now dirty shirt.  Sam obliged, but Jack coughed awkwardly as his wife was left completely naked on the bed.  He quickly raised the blanked so it covered her swollen breasts from view of the others.  She grinned tiredly at his protective behavior, loving the man for all of his qualities.  Janet and the nurse worked quickly, rolling Sam first to one side, then the next, changing her sheets for clean and soft ones.  Janet handed Jack a gown, and he helped Sam into it.  It wasn’t a hospital gown, but a soft blue sleep-dress.  It was made of cotton and the front was crisscrossed in stretchy fabric so that all Sam had to do was lower one side if she needed to breastfeed. 

Sam noticed the front immediately.  “Where did this come from?”

“I had someone run to a maternity store when you started labor,” Janet answered matter of fact.  “I knew you’d need something really comfortable after the birth.”

“Janet,” Jack said and they both waited until Janet was looking at them. 

“That was incredibly thoughtful, Jan, thank you,” Sam finished for Jack.

Janet smiled, beaming.  “You’re so welcome,” she choked on the last word, filled with emotion for her two friends.

“Here we are,” said the nurse as she approached with a clean and neatly bundled baby.  “Doctor Morrison and Doctor Fraiser said he’s perfectly healthy.”  She deposited him into Sam’s willing arms, and left the room.

Sam’s eyes widened.  She sat up, and Jack noticed her struggle, so he propped another pillow under her head and shoulders.  She moved her right hand and loosened the blanket enough so she could see all of the baby’s face.  The baby’s eyes were open, staring up at his mother.  She gasped.  “Oh, wow.”

“He’s gorgeous,” Jack said next to her.

“His eyes are blue,” she whispered. 

“Are they?  Kind’a gray from here,” Jack tried to get closer, placing his face right next to Sam’s.  The baby opened his mouth and started to move his head, rooting around for the blanket that was near his mouth.  “Look at all that hair!” Jack added.

On instinct, Sam moved the baby’s blanket away from his face and tilted him closer to her body.  With her free hand, she lowered her gown easily, and pulled her left breast out, directing her nipple into the baby’s mouth.  Jack watched, amazed.  The baby took the nipple in his mouth but then turned his mouth away, rooting for something else. 

“Jan,” Sam called her friend.  “He didn’t latch on.”

“Mmm,” Janet said, “Give him a minute, he will.”

“May I?” Doctor Morrison came into view, having been gathering his instruments in the room.

Jack frowned but Sam said, “please,” as she continued to place her nipple directly near the baby’s mouth.  He was now fussing and crying, and Sam looked horrified.

Doctor Morrison came and stood on the other side of the bed, opposite Jack.  “Sam, if I may,” he gestured towards her breast.  She nodded and he took her hands, placed them around her nipples and taught her to squeeze outwardly.  To Sam’s shock, a cloudy liquid appeared near the tip of her nipple, and Morrison used that moment to help Sam guide her nipple near her baby’s tiny parted lips.  Learning what to do, Sam repeated the motion, now without the help of the doctor, and to Jack’s dismay, the baby tasted the liquid, and quickly closed his lips around the nipple, sucking rapidly into his tiny mouth.

“Sam!” he said.

“I know!” she agreed, amazed and grateful, lost in the emotion of having her own child being fed from her own breast.  The room emptied, slowly, and Sam and Jack were quiet as their son had his first meal.  After a few minutes, the baby stopped sucking, his lips still doing the movement, but no pressure applied, a small ring of pale milk around his mouth and Sam’s breast. 

“I think he fell asleep,” Jack whispered, but when he looked to Sam for a response, he noted her eyes were closed, her breathing even.  He went to the doorway and flipped the lights off, the room still slightly lit by the lamp in the corner of the room and the emergency light in the other corner.  He came back to the bed and considered moving the baby so that Sam could rest, but he decided not to.  Sam deserved this, earned the right to hold her son as he slept, able to finally feel him in her arms after the eight months of constant stress and waiting. 

He watched them, the two most important people in his life, as they slept peacefully.  He needed them, needed to be near them, but he also needed to keep them safe, keep them whole.  What had started beneath the surface for him and Sam now had fuller meaning, fuller purpose.  He wanted to be a present father, to raise Matthew, to be with Sam through the thick and thin of parenting, of marriage, of life.  He also felt the weight of the responsibility of his work at the SCG, being reminded all too recently of the dangers of system lords, of replicators, of invisible threats to the safety of their world.  Beneath his fears lay the new hope in a future filled with joy and life, above need, above duty, and beyond imagination.  Jack O’Neill felt like a new man, his purpose deeper, and his foundation more secure than it had ever been.  Sam and Matthew would be there with him, to laugh, to fight battles, and to overcome whatever obstacle might come their way.  His future was bright.  Their future was together, the three of them, beyond everything.

THE END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I owe this story to many, many friends. I started writing it over a year ago, but stopped rather suddenly during a hurtful life event. This fandom, incredibly, helped ground me and keep me going. After not writing for almost six months, I picked it back up, and with much encouragement from readers and fandom friends, was able to finish. I’m so proud of it, and when I re-read it I feel so many emotions about the show, and the characters, and the life events that happen in the story… I hope that you do too. Thank you, kindly, to all my readers, and to those who took the time to leave a review. Many warm thanks to the girls on the twitter SJ fic club, for your laughter and for the time you invest in me and each other. The entire story was beta’ed by SamnJackAlways, my grammar queen and friend, many thanks. All remaining errors are mine. Actually, they’re Jack’s. :o)
> 
> As far as the story goes, I hope you enjoyed it. Wasn’t it a wonderful ride? Wouldn’t you love to know what happens next? How Jacob reacts to Matthew? How Sam and Jack survive as parents? How the SGC goes on with a Colonel and a Major that are married and raising a child? Ahh… so would I, my friends, so would I. Shall we plan a sequel? Was that a yes? Do let me know what you think.
> 
> Beneath Everything has been nominated for Best Mature and Best Angst. Please vote at samandjackawards.com
> 
> To all, it’s been a real pleasure. Thanks again for reading, and take care. XoXo.
> 
> @txwebbo


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